Newest Member: Unsureofhope


Together 33 years Married. 17 years

Half truth’s and getting nasty

Hi, struggling today , husband point blank will not give me the information I need to heal about his EA/PA. This is 2.5 years on from D day. He claims he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Hard to tell if he is a master manipulator, or being genuine. He claims he cannot remember things he said and has no answers for me. If I say I don’t feel loved when he refuses to explain or address his lack of memory, then I become the bad doubting horrible person who is apparently destroying our marriage.
He used to be pretty amazing as a husband and man and somehow somewhen he has changed into a deceitful, nasty person who cares only for himself. Any one else seem to have this trouble, its like dealing with a slimy snake who slivers out of telling the truth?

13 comments posted: Tuesday, September 20th, 2022


Hi, Been really working on my self lately & spoken to domestic abuse helpline which has been really helpful in making me understand at the root of all this is WH’s sense of entitlement to affair and bad treatment. Just interested in hearing from both the WS and the BS views on this and how this entitlement develops on W side and the amount of lying to oneself it requires to maintain the belief of entitlement. Surely someones real values haunt the WS?

6 comments posted: Monday, August 15th, 2022

Hot & Cold

Looking to get an opinion on if it is normal to have changing feelings towards WS. Some days I can barely let him kiss me and feel like actually punching him and other days I am a mess and crying. He lacks empathy and seems to think I should be over it all now. He swears on everyones life that he is not leaving me and yet he continues to defend the actions of the AP. The AP also spread lies and gossip about me and ruined most of my friendships. I am struggling to heal as my life is still in tatters and he seems not to understand why I am still struggling. How long before you start to feel better on average?

11 comments posted: Tuesday, February 15th, 2022

Rug sweeping and leaking information

My WH has always had a problem with responsibility & blames others when he is clearly at fault. He has recently started admitting things he is guilty about that happened years ago. We are supposed to be reconciling and yet there is still things about his affair that he is keeping back. We also have the occasional tears when I think he allows himself to accept he is to blame however he remains silent on explaining. Has anyone else had this as not sure if he cannot face himself or is still lying?

9 comments posted: Thursday, November 4th, 2021

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