It’s the little things

I tried to buy a bday card for WH and found it to be very difficult… I have days where it’s not so bad and other days where it seems I’m in a hole I can’t escape from. Something as simple as buying a birthday card is horrible. I guess it’s a trigger … I’m reading the sentiments and just want to gag. It hurts to read bday cards. May sound dumb but it’s sometimes the little things that set me off. How sad.

31 comments posted: Wednesday, February 1st, 2023

Affair partner thinks she is a victim

Affair partner contacted me after affair discovery to give overview of basic detail. I was polite and held back lashing out as I was eager to hear whatever information she had that could help me digest my new reality. One of the things that was most shocking to me was she believes she is a victim. She had an affair for years with a married man knowing he was married with a family. She didn’t mind him always coming home to his wife and family. She was ok with sharing him so to speak. She encouraged his behaviour and simply allowed it. There was no promise of ever leaving me or his family. How delusional does one have to be to accept this from an intimate partner? How delusional is someone who believes they are a victim for having relations with a married partner? How does one sleep at night who does this? I can’t wrap my head around it. And of course I know my spouse is at fault and very damaged to do what he’s done. I just don’t understand how the third person in the relationship (affair partner) can be so damaged to accept this kind of relationship. It gives permission for shitty destructive behaviour.

15 comments posted: Thursday, November 24th, 2022

Discovery

Found out I’ve been sharing my husband of 20+ years with another woman for over 13 years!!! While I dedicated my life to raising a family and working around my husbands busy work life he was living a double life. He pretended to be a happily married man who had morals and values.. everyone looked up to him including me. I feel like such a fool for believing in something that was obviously not what I thought it was. I feel like I’ve been living with a stranger. I’m not even sure where I belong, why this happened or how this could go on for years and I not see anything. I feel like a real life dr Phil show. Something you read about happening to someone else in disbelief… it doesn’t seem real. We had a very happy life together. Two great kids. Supportive friends and family. I’m just trying to piece myself together and thought reading how others are coping could help.

Met my spouse in college. Considered him my best friend. Stood by each other though many ups and downs … raised two children together. I was primary care giver of our children because his job was so demanding. I revolved my life around my family. I worked in a profession that allowed me to have flexibility of being a parent first. I loved my life. My husband. My family. I feel like I’ve been robbed of my life. I trusted my husband with everything.

He ended the affair but only because it was discovered… I feel like I’m walking in a daze most days.. like I’m having out of body experience… not sure about anything anymore.

61 comments posted: Saturday, May 14th, 2022