Do they ever come back?

2 months post breakout 6 weeks post Dday (is that the term?)

I miss him and our life so much. He’s in love with his AF partner. Said he ended our relationship because he wasn’t happy but I think he just left me for her.

They have been planning their future together. Do they ever come back? Am I delusional?

Do they get married to their AP?

Can you all share your stories? I really want to rebuild our relationship. Says he doesn’t love me anymore 😔 hasn’t cut off contact but says he’s struggling with capacity and sorry he doesn’t respond or get back to me. Does that really mean he just doesn’t really want to text/talk to me? We share a phone plan so I know he talks and texts her constantly.

Is there anything I can do to bring him back? 😔💔

16 comments posted: Wednesday, September 28th, 2022

How do move on?

I’m 8 weeks past the end of my relationship and 6 weeks since finding out about the affair. See below for backstory.

How do you move forward? How do you stop feeling like trash that was thrown away? How do you live knowing he will marry her and you’ll still be processing this? I’m broken by this and still love him and want him to choose me. I can’t accept this reality and I’m a mess. There is so much more to this story about me standing by him through super hard times and she gets the now best version of him?

How do you get through this and stop feeling so worthless?

Backstory - affair started in Sept 2020 (I think can’t be sure). Ended in December of that year. Slept with her told her he loved her. She found out he was in a relationship and it ended. He said he choose me but I’m not sure.

July 2022 he says he got an accidental butt dial. They started texting and calling each other. Things went downhill fast for us in July - more fighting, not really paying attention or being there for me.

Got in an argument and the next day I apologized and was accountable. Both said we wanted to talk. He ended things putting 100% of the blame on me. I listened and took it all in. Felt HORRIBLE (first time hearing about how he felt about things). Asked him to consider a separation and therapy.

He considered it, came back a few days later and said no. I looked at our phone recipient (as I do since it’s the monthly bill) and saw a number. When he had said he was talking to family - different number.

Confronted him. I was kind and listened (I’m proud of myself) and he told me about it. About her. That he loves her and what happened in 2020. But that he chose me but nothing changed in our relationship and he felt lost and heartbroken but that she makes him feel loved and heard and valued.

I’ve since been able to see more stuff and connect the dots. Called her on my birthday while I was in bed. 😢

I went through a lot with him. Was there for him when his mom died. Lost all of his mom’s inheritance because he couldn’t get hired (never told me about this) and was trying to support himself, ended up being in debt, losing the first job he finally had due to the pandemic shut downs, our dog dying, being in financial peril where I saved us and our apartment, taking a second job to help pay for our dogs vet bills and eventual death and keeping us a float. I stayed through this - even with the lies about finances and creditors. I stayed because I loved him and you stick it out, together. I was in the fence about kids. Wanted to know how he felt - if it was something he really wanted I would have done that with him. I’m now 43 and turns out he does and his AP has a child. They have already talked about children. He walks away into a life where his problems are solved and I’m left here. With depression and anxiety and trust issues.

6 comments posted: Tuesday, September 27th, 2022