15 years
This is my first time posting. I just ended a 15 year affair. I am trying to read as much here as possible. I need hope and encouragement that I did the right thing.
My husband does not know how long it lasted. He thought is ended 14 years ago. My husband has a chronic illness and as a caregiver, I was overwhelmed, unhappy and unable to put my needs on him when he can barely manage his own needs. This is not an excuse; just background. I used it to justify my behavior. Leaving my marriage is not an option. When I separated from him before the affair, my kids responded with "How can you leave our sick dad?" More guilt and shame have kept me here. I drank a lot over the last 15 years, to cover my feelings. I have been sober for 2 years and am making serious changes to improve my life.
Any advice to get through this grieving - grieving the end of it, grieving what my marriage will never be, grieving the 15 years I wasted over shame and guilt, grieving my friendship and a place to talk about all my husband's disease issues.
I am reaching out here so I can stand firm in my decision to move forward.
Thank you for listening.
5 comments posted: Monday, November 10th, 2025
