Guilty feeling for not saying anything
Hi All,
I just joined this site today. I've been struggling lately and am looking for advice or outlets to help me talk and move on.
Backstory-
I caught my wife (at age 44) cheating by finding chat conversations on FB. I was shocked by her double life. I didn't say anything and let it continue. I kept looking at her FB messages and subvertly following her around to see what she was up to. I would know she was going out to have her fun while I stayed home with our kids. I would ask her questions when she got home,or the next day, to see what kind of lies she would tell me. This went on for about a year and a half. SMH I know.
We divorced a year later for other reasons (4 years ago now). I never told her that I knew she cheated. I don't know why and this is bothering me so much lately. Is something wrong with me for not saying anything to her while it was happening?
I want to shift gears and move on. Any advice?
I'm new here so if there is a topic about this on her already or if I need to ask in another area please let me know. I can tell more of the story too. Just don't know how/what to say.
~Herzy
4 comments posted: Sunday, January 11th, 2026
