Betrayal

A month ago, my partner came to me telling me he wanted to see a Dominatrix, that he was unhappy in our sex life.

He had admitted to getting only fans videos during corona and continued to get videos while I was with him.

I said I'm willing to try new stuff.

Our sex life was stagnating because he could not get it up for quite some time. I thought it may have been stress/ depression- I did know he watched porn but I just compartmentalised it a bit- The sex was not enjoyable for some time. It became rougher and I started to feel dehumanised on occasion so truthfully, I was relived to see some respite.

But we started to talk I told him I didn't enjoy the very long sessions but wanted to satisfy him. He asked for some things- I tried to offer it to him but he didn't really respond. He needed to masturbate but eventually managed to come.

I asked him to park this conversation about visiting a dominatrix until we worked things out and got our sex life back. I felt

Anyway, fast forward to a week ago, he told me he had a video call with a dom... he said 'fuck it she doesn't want to talk, I'll do it anyway'.I asked him to leave for a couple of days. He left a big note saying 'you are what I want - I completely retract what I have asked of you- I acted entitled'.

He has been seeking lots of help since I asked him to leave: 12 steps/ therapist and does feel he has a porn addiction...

He added more information that he had been messaging this dom at christmas while we stayed with my family...He decided to add this new information- I felt I couldn't trust him anymore. I asked him if he could show me the conversations...I said I wanted to see the receipts to see what was true...He said it may cause me to relapse...

I went away alone on A holiday we were both meant to go on...I asked him not to go...I asked him to show me some self control while I was away and not masturbate to show me he could do it. He caved on day 4...

I have moved out but today just before I left, I looked at his emails (On day 4 : Wrong I know...) to see if I could find something and one to email to a doctor said 'This dom makes me feel so submissive in way I didn't think possible'...I used to feel satisfied with my gf (me) but now, I am not. I don't know if this relationship is right for me...I feel like the rug has been taken out from under me. I thought I was in control and I thought he would fight to get be back...He also said he'd been looking at videos of her for years (He had withheld that info from me)

He asked if we could talk on the phone everyday when I left..I sort of feel that he is just consumed with guilt rather than coming from a place of wanting to try...

14 comments posted: Sunday, March 1st, 2026