New Here.

I found out 2 days ago that my husband has been having an emotional affair. (not sure he admits to the word "affair) but more on that another time.

I am devastated.

In the past, I was married to a lying, womanizing, cheating alcoholic. I stayed for a very long time, for my kids. When I finally had enough, I distanced myself emotionally and joined him in drinking to numb the pain of my life. We eventually divorced, but continued to "hook up". I even stayed at the house with him at times. Also, during this time, I began participating in online chatting communities for fun (not for healing). I met lots of people, and it became a source to fulfill my own needs. I had my own emotional affair (convinced it was fine as my then H had cheated with over 15 women, that I was aware of and could name, and we weren't even married anymore) It gave me an outlet and boosted my self-esteem.

Fast forward, and why is that important? Well, when my now husband and I began seeing each other, I told him about all this. He knew my tumultuous relationship. We had so many lengthy conversations about how emotional affairs are still forms of cheating and that it was important for people to guard their relationship, so that doesn't happen. It took me a very long time to let down my guard and trust this man. But I eventually did. And now, this. I am devastated not only for the pain of the betrayal, but for the loss of who I believed him to be.

I'm so lost and broken.

0 comment posted: Thursday, June 25th, 2026