Type of affair?

Married 26 years. Kids are grown up. Wife has been deeply devoted to me. The last 4 years she has grown close to her male cousin in another state. He's a good dude. I love that she is so connected to him instead of her usual friends/family. It's something new. But something is off. When they embrace it's a long, deep, intimate hug that everyone notices. When they start texting, she blocks out the world and has the most loving look on her face, as if she's in love with the person she's texting. And it goes on for hours. When we go to visit, she's up until 3am just the 2 of them. She's normally in bed by 830. When he steps out to smoke, she joins him. She doesn't smoke otherwise. She will look right through me to see him. When we visit, she will start blowing his phone up trying to find out where he is and why he hasn't come over yet. I'm talking a dozen calls/texts by noon. I feel like an absolute outcast. She notices noone else. I can't get her attention b/c she's locked in with him. Her eyes don't leave him when he's in the room. They make sexual jokes and use terminology that my wife DOES NOT say ever, especially publicly. Not even with me. She's private and modest, but when he's in the room she uses language unnatural to who she is. I have called her out and she acts like i'm stupid. Claims i have an issue with her being close to someone else. Claims that i'm just jealous and suggesting something with her cousin is gross and insane. I don't think she's physically intimate with him, at all. But it still feels like an affair. I'm not the jealous type at all. She has guy friends, i've spent 26 years watching her take the day off to hang out with her male BFF when he's in town. So calling me jealous is inaccurate. But this is different. Seeing past me and not hearing me or noticing me in the same room b/c she's so infatuated with him. If this is not cheating, what is it? Am i crazy?

11 comments posted: Tuesday, July 14th, 2026