Online Romantic Affair from Around the World

I found out on June 3rd my WH of almost 17 years is having an affair with a coworker. It is an emotional affair, we live in the United States and she is located in India. She is also married, she is 12 years younger than us and has only been married for 4 years and apparently she is in a unhappy marriage. One point when both of my children had surgery to have their wisdom teeth out and I had to go and get their medicine my son texted me and told me that my WH was on a phone call in the basement and that he wasn't available. Knowing something was up I checked my security cameras and caught a conversation that he was having and overheard him talking to her and asking her if her parents did not approve of her being with him would she still marry him? He went on to say that he is the happiest he has ever been when he is with her, but they have never met in person. When I confronted him with this and told him to get out he said I misunderstood, and that the only way that she could come here would be if they married. That is doesn't actually mean what I think it means. He said he doesn't know what it is but there is something inside of him that just has to meet her, and that if he meets her and things don't work out he would want to be with me. I told him I wasn't a backup person and again he said it was not like that. Since we had a expensive family vacation booked I kept things together and he promised that he would be on his best behavior on the trip so we could have this family time and he promised that he would try and work on us. He was honest and told me that he was still talking to her and that he did have these feelings and he wasn't sure if he was going to go to India. I told him if he did it was over between us. Once on the trip he texted and talked to her throughout the family vacation in Italy (since now it was only a 3 hour time difference between them) ruining the vacation of a lifetime for myself and our teenage kids. The kids even pointed out that what he was doing was out of line. During the trip I told him once we got home he needs to leave so his attitude was well I am leaving anyway I might as well do what I want. On the final two days of the trip he began to get anxiety saying he doesn't want to leave me or the kids or the house. Once we got home I asked him to move out and he has been living at his fathers now for two weeks, saying that he is now really trying and wants to work things out with me and would like a 2.0 version of us. However, he is STILL talking to this woman outside of work and will not end things with her. I told him today that he needs to make a decision that it is either me or her that I cannot keep this up and that he has until the end of the summer (9/21) to make up his mind. At first he seemed overwhelmed by this and said that is just around the corner and that he is not sure what he wants. But I feel this is more than enough time since this has been going on since the first of June. I feel so alone and lost. I love my husband and I want to save my marriage, this is an emotional affair and they have never met in person but it hurts so much. I KNOW that this is so unlike him and that he is going through something else.

0 comment posted: Saturday, August 15th, 2026