Help with breaking the loop
Hi, I am here because I desperately need to connect with people who understand the unfaithful perspective without judgment.
It has been almost 2 years since discovery. My marriage is currently ending in a highly contentious divorce. On the other side, my former AP is also married but it looks like his marriage will survive (idk!)
We haven’t had physical contact in almost two years, but we are completely stuck in an intermittent phone loop. Every time we speak, it feels like it resets my grief and withdrawal clock back to Day One.
I am mourning the loss of my marriage and simultaneously experiencing deep, disenfranchised grief for the AP.
I know the intermittent contact is keeping me trapped but the emotional pull feels impossible to break right now, especially with the stress of the divorce.
How did those of you who were deeply attached to your AP finally break the cycle for good? How did you navigate the grief of losing them while your life at home was unraveling?
Thank you for reading all of this and I am open to any and all advice. Please be kind; I am fragile. Thank you!
0 comment posted: Saturday, October 17th, 2026
