SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I know I'm not from the island of misfit toys, but some days it sure the fuck feels like it.

So go be a Dentist!

(Someone somewhere got that)

My ex left me for a pregnant woman who had a couple of kids.

Just was apparently pretty dateable.

I have a friend with two kids who brings a different guy home every night, but she is kind of a whore.

I don't think having kids makes you undateable to the right person.

But I think being a good parent and making your kids a priority can be an issue for people who expect all of your time and attention.

I feel a little undateable because I have issues.

And I am unhappy with my body.

For someone who genuinely understands what it is like to be a parent, this shouldn't present an issue.

It may, however, present an issue to those who don't understanding parenting or those who have chosen to eschew being a parent or those whose children are grown and gone.

I don't think you can slap labels on yourself with regards to this.

I dated one man whom I encouraged to go for sole custody because I thought it would be better for the child. Yes, it would have significantly reduced the amount of time spent together, but it was the right thing to do.

I'm looking at having two in college beginning Fall 2010, so I'm nearing the end of my active parenting years. I'll likely be looking for the same in a partner. That doesn't mean I wouldn't be open to someone with children still at home, but it would mean that I might be more interested with someone who has a little more control of their time.

Cat

Moe - I want to know where you can get a drink for $2.75.

And D - I think I am in love. LOL! Just kidding, but your goals/attitude sound pretty good to me.

To actually answer the question - my sister has 4 kids and she has no trouble dating.

Right now I think I am pretty undateable.

I have a 15 month old who I have sole physical custody. I don't really want to leave her with a babysitter to go on a date. I definately don't want to bring someone around her. She deserves to have mommy all to herself.

I do miss the attention of a man. I was thinking a few months ago that it would cure my lonliness but I have a feeling if I did start dating I would be missing my baby so much I wouldn't want to.

I guess I would have to say I am 'undatable' right now.

I am so focused on work and just living life and tend to be oblivious to male attention (guy winked at me, I asked if he had something in his eye)...

Also most men see me as 'too good' for them and as a challenge (because they might actually have to be able to hold an intelligent conversation?) and it's just easier to go for the bland, middle of the road girl who will shamelessly throw themselves at his feet begging to be used/loved/given any attention. Not that I am some mountain to be climbed but I do have standards which I am equal to and yes, I do expect a man to be equal as well.

I do not see my 3 kids (26,22,16) as deterants but as part of who and what I am...once again, I am equal to that challenge and anyone who isn't better step off if they can't step up.

I do believe (and SI is proof) that there are good - quality people out there. People who are equal to the challeges of their lives, who face things with humor and realistic ideas , people who accept with compassion each other's individual differences, people who rise above the circumstances and situations which limit others.

Call me a hopeless idealist if you will...but I do believe that the good in people shines through...and that light will make you very very datable to the right person

Let the ones who see you as undatable pass by...

I feel I am in alot of ways. I get plenty of dates, that is not a problem. Problem is I feel deep down that there must be something wrong with me since my wife left me for a garbage man.

I don't know what it is, but apparently he is somehow better than me. Maybe a better man, who knows. He abuses her verbally and emotionally and apparently isn't very good in bed, but she just can't let him go.

Who knows what the problem is but it gnaws at me mercilessly.

No place of my own... things that go on around the place where I live... lack of a bachelors degree... yep, feel like I can't date at times. The whole degree thing stems from match.com... gives me a bad outlook on dating since most of the girls I would be interested list that and 6' tall as attributes lol.

(Someone somewhere got that)

(ringing in)

Hermey!!!

-t2g

Strangely, I have not felt "undateable" at all for the reason of kids. I have issues with my body image which makes it hard for me to feel secure dating again, but that is leftover from ex's abuse. I can barely believe it when someone compliments me. I have had plenty of eligible guys ask me out though, who knew that I had kids and had absolutely no problem with it-- even one guys who said "if I were married to you, I'd already have two kids now!" Sweet, I thought. Some men really do want that family. Those who would rule me out on that basis-- great, because I wouldn't wnat you anyway and I probably wouldn't be interested in you kids or not...LOL!

Pretty much undatable here.

I don't have time.

Don't give off the "vibe" that I'm interested.

I'm getting older yet I still have young children and a whole lot of kids still left to be raised.

On the other side of this coin . . .

My kids are grown. And a lot of the men in my age range are looking at younger mothers of young children. I don't get it.

I'm a fairly independent woman. I can take care of myself fairly well. But I'd love to share my life with someone. I don't NEED to.

It seems to me that if I looked like I needed a little more help, I might be more appealing to these men.

Who knows? I think all of us feel undateable at some time or another throughout this process. None of us expected to be in the dating pool again, so we certainly are not prepared.

After crawling through the hell of infidelity and divorce, we have a few scars, doubts, and insecurities. But we are ALL survivors. And I feel like everyone here is dateable.

NL

I feel undateable because I still feel too much pain. I like kids. I would go out with a women with kids. I did ask out one lady with kids. She is very smart because she said no. I guess I am not ready for a new beginning.