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MoreBluetiful (original poster new member #28714) posted at 8:15 AM on Friday, August 20th, 2010
Has anyone read this book, written by Harville Hendrix? It was recommended to me by my IC, and I thought it was so interesting, and really enjoyed it. It made me wish I had read it much sooner...
I am D now, but if anyone has read it, and done the exercises with it, do you think that some of them could still be beneficial for me to do now, even though I am single?
InnerLight ( member #19946) posted at 5:39 AM on Saturday, August 21st, 2010
Yes, this is a classic. If I ever had a relationship progress to a certain level I'd like us to do the Imago workshops that use the techniques in this book.
If you're motivated to do the exercises in the book go ahead. I have a belief that it will help you attract a man that is more likely to be on that same wavelength with you...
BS, 64 yearsD-day 6-2-08D after 20 years together
The journey from Armageddon to Amazing Life happens one step at a time. Don't ever give up!
BorrowTrouble ( member #2435) posted at 3:59 PM on Saturday, August 21st, 2010
You know he has a book for people who are not yet in a relationship. It's called Keeping the Love You Find.
It's not as well written as Getting the Love You Want (for which Hendrix used a ghost writer), but it's packed with good, useful information.
doesitgetbetter ( member #18429) posted at 8:03 AM on Wednesday, August 25th, 2010
He has another good one for anyone, single or married. It's called Receiving Love. It helps individuals work through some of their FOO issues and feel worthy of the love that they truly deserve. There is also a companion workbook for it too.
DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - WS
Us - working on R - again
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
D-day 2 July 4, 2015, turns out he is a SAWH, status, working harder than before
May 22, 2019 -slip/relapse. He forgot he has to work forever
tearsofjade ( member #25778) posted at 10:09 AM on Wednesday, August 25th, 2010
Have all his books. Excellent. I would recommend Keeping the love you find, which is for singles. I have Getting the love, but it makes me sad thinking if he would have just put effort into it we could have saved the M. But he didn't and now I am OK with that and Keeping.. and Journey from abandonment have helped me.
FBW(me)48
Divorced and really happy!
The best revenge is a life lived well!
Lost&Hurt ( member #19329) posted at 12:20 PM on Wednesday, August 25th, 2010
Have the book, did an Imago weekend....
While I believe in the ideas and approach, unless you are with someone who will practice this technique along with you, it is pointless..
It is one of those processess that requires cooperation between partners and...mine wouldn't....
So you would likely ask, why bother....?
Well some days I feel that way too....and all I can conclude is that he is a man of action, rather than one of words...
He cannot handle all the talk that Imago requires....so he does things....
It used to work well for us, but the A changed all that.
I'm trying to find comfortable ground again...but this didn't do it for us.
[This message edited by Lost&Hurt at 6:21 AM, August 25th (Wednesday)]
BS: me
WS: him
D Day - 2-13-2008
Attempting R after 6 years of lies
bigpicture3236 ( member #27861) posted at 1:41 AM on Saturday, September 4th, 2010
I thought the ideas were good, providing you had a willing spouse. If you didn't, you sold the book, like I did...
If you love something and hurt it dearly, then chose not to fix it...you never deserved it in the first place.
7yrsbetrayed ( member #10198) posted at 6:40 AM on Sunday, September 5th, 2010
My rSA and I used it in our MC and it was wonderful. Very helpful once we got to the place where MC could actually work... after we'd both done a lot of IC.
Me(44)
Him(46) arthurdent (rSA)
Married 12 yrs, together 15
Renewed Vows 12/19/08
One DD(8)
You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.~Ayn Rand
Crossbow ( member #15224) posted at 5:05 AM on Monday, September 6th, 2010
I loved both this one and Keeping the Love You Find. I'd recommend them for sure.
DDay 7/4/07 found out about online/sexting EA with OM
DDay 7/25/07 found out about OW
In R
2 DSs, ages 11 & 9
DD, 4
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