SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Apparently I am getting a divorce and moving to Pittsburgh with my 2 daughters

I get the girls and he gets the boys?????

For a couple about to be divorced, FWH and I are awfully "friendly" if you know what I mean

Not only that, but this was told to my 16 year old daughter by an adult in town.

I am already on damage control duty where the kids are concerned, and it's now a new family joke (only with the older kids who were told of this rumor). I mean we do need to find humor in life....what with the divorce and all.

People here really really suck at the game of telephone!

[This message edited by refuz2bavictim at 1:27 PM, September 2nd (Thursday)]

I get the girls and he gets the boys?????

so you are Bizarro Brady Bunch? how creative of a small town rumor.

Steelers fans, huh?

Ugh, I hate people sometimes .

When you and FG are out and about, you should make PDAs a regular part of your outing . Make sure there are lots of people watching

Well it just keeps getting better.

DD16 came home from the 1st day of school and apparently we ALREADY had our very nasty divorce and FG moved to WA state. (I can't wait to go visit I love it there)

But since I'll be in Pittsburgh I'll probably just become a Penguins fan. I am sure the Steelers are swell, but I think I'll check out the Hockey scene.

Meanwhile when I come home to visit the Bizzaro Brady Bunch on the weekends....I'll just leave the curtains open

Can they arrest you for PDA in your own home?

t/j: What's a PDA? Is it edible?

PDA=Public Displays of Affection (usually frowned upon but in refuz's case I think it's the only way to go, I mean, they're already talking )

refuz, I feel ya on the small town gossip. I'm sorry , but I'm glad you and your family are handling it well.

Hugs,

AN

Ooh, and forgot to ask you...I've been wondering where you're moving to.

If it's south, I was wondering if you were getting closer to us!

(PM me if you want to share)

What's a PDA? Is it edible?

hahahahhaha I suppose it could be....

Oh that was naughty....sorry.

AN

PM headed your way

Ugh. I live in one of these smaller towns, too, where gossip is the fodder on which these people live and apparently feed their young.

I have to say, though, that you have a healthy sense of humor about it all. It can't be easy for her to hear all of the buzz about her life from her peers. But it sounds like she is doing just fine...thanks to the healthy modeling she is getting at home!

I used to socialize with these very people in my town, but thankfully backed away before my H's A. At virtually every event -- from a small dinner to a large party -- the conversation focused on anyone who was NOT there and the state of their jobs, relationships, etc. (that, and how much alcohol they could consume). It became clear that without others' problems to chat about, they would have n.o.t.h.i.n.g.

It is funny in a pathetic sort of way, isn't it?

I just figure that people must find us utterly fascinating ... that, or they are just incredibly bored.

I'm sure that in your case, it is the former!

[This message edited by healingwife at 4:53 AM, September 3rd (Friday)]

What is this I don't even...

I would never mention such a thing to a kid. Or an adult actually. The most I can imagine doing is if I'd heard something like that, being extra kind and saying something like "if you need someone to talk to I'm here for you."

[This message edited by ladyvorkosigan at 4:58 AM, September 3rd (Friday)]

I heard that Refuz took a new position at an insurance firm, and FG was her first claim.

Then, she moved in with AN and LD with her 2 girls and they are growing asparagus for a living.

Then, FG started a new business venture out in WA. selling used ice cubes to bars, for drinks.

I also live in a small town and I met up with people after not seeing them for a while and they said things like "I thought you moved to XYZ" or "I heard that you and __ split up!" Etc. Etc.

But then I would ask where they heard it and they all said they "forgot" who told them. That is the only part that bugs me. Why couldn't even one person tell me who told them that?

I have just accepted it for the most part but it does bug me not knowing who knows any part of what happened, and who doesn't know. The fact is most of our closest friends seem to really not have any idea of our troubles in 2006 (Marital troubles, I mean, they all knew about his DD's death) Yet, I don't see how that could be since on D-day, I went a little crazy in our business and definitely exposed what was going on, and one employee present was a known gossip. I just wish that people who heard rumors would come out and tell me who told them and actually ask me to clarify the truth. I don't want to tell about the A to anybody who has no clue that it happened, but, well I just wish I could have a way of knowing who knows anything about the A, even if what they know is not the whole truth.

[This message edited by Bobbi_sue at 6:26 AM, September 3rd (Friday)]

Small town gossip!

Really, you do have to laugh at it

While the A was going on but still secret... The rumour in our small town was that we were "wife swapping"

Well, did the outing of the A between FWH & Fow blow that out of the water

Oh! And this is a good one... we were at the town fair last year and the lady running the bar (yes our fair has a bar as it doesn't have much else ) was the BW of the newest A on the rumour mill. In a group of acquantances (FWH one of them)someone asked me what I knew about their story. I just laughed very loud and said, "When you've been the talk of the town for 2 years you sure learn not to say anything about anyone else"

I wasn't going to ignore the big white elephant in the room. It shut the rumour mill right down for that moment anyway.

I would never mention such a thing to a kid. Or an adult actually.

Precisely what I was thinking. What makes someone (an adult?) feel like its an OK thing to say? The second rumor came from a classmate...and teens being what they are here (apples and trees) it didn't elicit the same kind of reaction from me.

Healing Wife,

I think Anytown USA can be rough if you don't want to spend time gossiping and bragging about the amount of drinks you can down in any given amount of time. Serious talent here!!!

Bobbi,

It took me a while at first not to want to get the TRUTH out, so that the rumors wouldn't become the truth. But the sad truth is, people don't get the facts straight because they aren't interested in the real truth. They get some kind of high and are entertained by the misery of others. Its rubbernecking of another sort.

Integrity,

Boy can I relate. I was apparently in an "open" relationship.

When you've been the talk of the town for 2 years you sure learn not to say anything about anyone else"

Isn't that the truth!!!

I am sure today will bring a new set of rumors.

In a few weeks the next "big thing" will happen. The townsfolk will be gathered round the bar and lined up in the pews discussing the newest scandal.

My kids have done SO well they really have. My daughter had been terribly bullied and after we handled the situation she really grew and came into her own. She has developed a thick skin with out giving up her emotional soft side. She has this amazing sense of humor and now has the confidence to share it...even when people make thoughtless remarks and behave like thoughtless rubes.

We're planning our future. Helping each of our children prepare to live theirs. I am making friends who want to discuss topics that are free of gossipy drama.

I think I handled the situation the best I could. I hope so....and time will tell.