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gonogo1 (original poster member #25518) posted at 3:14 PM on Tuesday, September 7th, 2010
20 years ago I was on cloud 205,I was in love now 20 years later I can't even find cloud one.I am uncertain about love as I do not trust my WH , do not respect his choices, doubt his intentions, and generally am sad.Found out through a slip that OW is e-mailing him still, been told things he said which he states he did not say, who knows. We are living apart and have been sice I kicked him out on DDay 04/05/09. He is going to MC,he is paying extra attention to me but I feel empty, like I used up all the gas and there is nothing left. I think this is a sad day and nothing to celebrate except years of lies.We are going out to dinner later 
[This message edited by gonogo1 at 9:16 AM, September 7th (Tuesday)]
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Don’t listen to your head, it’s easily confused. Don’t listen to your heart, its fickle. Listen to your soul, God doesn't steer you wrong.
deena ( member #27275) posted at 3:32 PM on Tuesday, September 7th, 2010
just wanted to know that you are heard and my heart goes out to you in this time of pain.
Those wedding anniv. just seem to drive home the pain. 
Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's
better to leave them broken than to hurt
yourself putting it back together.
marrey ( member #22614) posted at 10:27 PM on Tuesday, September 7th, 2010
I am so sorry ! I know so well what you feel. My ann. after d day was just HORRID!
I am praying this day goes better for you, Honey!
Me-BS-36
HIM-FWS-41
3 kids
Married 19 years/2gether 24
DD may 1st 2008
Ow36-couple was our best friend..
Time heals all wounds, but will never erase the pain.
PDOFF! ( member #28079) posted at 12:22 AM on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
I hear you too (((hugs))). 20 years is a long time. WS just don't realise what a gift they had. Hope you are ok.
We've also been together 20yrs. It now feels like half my life has been a farce. I'm still waiting for the new, improved and stronger marriage to arise from the ashes. Don't think it's going to happen.
:(
BS - me 37 WH- 41
PA 9th may 09 -1st april 10
Married 19yrs together 21
Ds -4 Dd -2
D-Day #1 26th July 2009
D-Day #2 30th September 2009 same ow
D-Day #3 1st April 2010 same
"Love grows where trust is laid & love dies where trust is betr
gonogo1 (original poster member #25518) posted at 3:37 PM on Wednesday, September 8th, 2010
Thanks to all for the hugs and to let me know that others have felt this way as well. The evening was without incident, had a nice dinner ,no drama,he gave me a card I had one for him but decided he didn't deserve it, I didn't give it to him, but told him I had had one.
It was like two old friends having dinner, he had an early flight in the AM droped me at home ,made no pass etc. . No gift , no nothing. I suppose it was better then fighting.Ya . I wonder too if there will ever be the stronger, improved marriage or marriage period. I did say to him 20 years this may be the last anniversary dinner.
My sister and friend have made it clear to me that they will never accept him again which adds to my stess over decesions.
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Don’t listen to your head, it’s easily confused. Don’t listen to your heart, its fickle. Listen to your soul, God doesn't steer you wrong.
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