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Just wondering if it *ever* happens.

I figured that she was emotionally incapable of offering me an apology during the D process (it was stressful, of course, and we were living together throughout). Now that it's done, I'm wondering if she'll ever sit back, reflect, and say, "It's time I gave him a sincere apology for cheating on him with so many other men, for deceiving him and our children for years and years."

She did well in the settlement, so I also wonder if I might, just might, ever receive any kind of thanks for all the money I send her week after week after week.

Am I holding my breath for nothing?

Nope and I don't expect to. he would have to humble and admit it was his fault.

He did say, "I wouldn't disrespect you." (by bringing OW on the property, I still live) I laughed at him.

Same conversation, he said. "I know I lied," and I said, Ya think ? I laughed at him again.

A real FT and idiot.

gma

HA!!

4 years after dday, after he ans wifetress split he cam sniffing around me. The closest thing he got to an apology was "I ruined my life. I know I fucked up your life but you climbed out of the hole. Now you have to help me!" Really? I don't think so asshole!!

Oh and another classic from the same time. He was asking my advise because DD is very stand offish (and I am thinking, "well at least she is talking to you now that you split with whore..."). I explained that he hurt her very deeply. He whined "But I was just living my life!"

Loser!

We're not D yet - but yes. I did get an apology. It was a round-about kind of apology. He wrote a letter of apology to our daughter and sent it to me as well saying that it applied to me almost as much as to SG2 (which makes sense given the context of the letter). In the letter he takes full responsibility for his actions and the harm he did and apologizes for what he did.

I believe his apology is sincere. Though it doesn't change the fact that he is not ready, within himself, to do what needs to be done to heal himself or our marriage.

But yes, I did get an apology.

I get many many apologies and I love yous and flirty texts/calls. Not backed up with any actions though, unfortunately. Led to many false R's until I said enough. Many times the apologies are followed with a mood swing and then it's "fuck off and die". Either the flirting and lovey-dovey stuff or the hateful stuff, he never leaves me alone either way. I am NC as much as I can, but his mood still swings at me via his texts, it's bizarre.

I got an apology that was basically, "I'm sorry that what I'm doing bothers you so much."

Nothing real so far (D is final next week). Just the "sorry for the pain I've caused you and the kids" which translates to "sorry I got caught and everyone found out what a rat bastard I am."

Sorry. Not laughing at you. Just laughing at the idea of my X ever apologizing to me.

My X is so stubborn that he actually adopted an entire new belief system that supported his adulterous ways, then found a therapist that agreed I was a "bitch" who "deserved to be cheated on anyway", not that cheating is wrong on his planet.

No. I did not, nor will I ever get, an apology.

Not in this lifetime ...

In fact, yesterday stbxwh says to me "I don't know what I did to piss you off so much."

Hmmmm ... wonder if fucking a whore for the past 18 months had anything to do with it?

So I think it's safe to assume that I'll never hear and apology out of that asshole! How can he apologize HE doesn't even know what he did that was so wrong?!

[This message edited by feelinghurt10 at 10:34 PM, September 7th (Tuesday)]

Mine apologizes frequently, really.

But his words mean nothing. He never DID anything. Actions. There was no action on his part.

I do believe he's sorry. He's missing so much w/the kids. But he is a broken man, and I could no longer live with that.

Love do

I did receive an apology about 1.5 years after the D was final.

It was the day after he realized that I was dating again. He was a crying mess, and promised to do right by me this time.

I'm sure he realizes what he did,and I'm sure that he'll make someone else a fine spouse - it just won't be me.

Never have gotten one so far, and D is 2 months away. Do not expect one then nor ever. WW still explains to me how the whole thing is soley my fault and my fault alone. By me filing for D she had no other choice (the A had been going on PA for 3 months at the time of filing). Go figure.

My reaction is the same as kittycat's:

Mr. NPD ex-asshat could be on his deathbed and not apologize. In fact, he actually was close to death a couple months ago and nope, that didn't do it. It didn't even motivate him to contact the children he hasn't seen for over two years.

It's a nice thought but I know it'll never happen.

This is all just craziness. I can feel everyone's situation in going through all of this.

Just tonight, my Wife, someday to be my Ex - came to be with a touchy-feely where are you at, and this is where I'm at meeting.

So, she expects me to be idle, and not saying anything? I'm supposed to be happy that we are breaking up are family, and our three kids? Are you fucking insane?

This "fog" that everyone describes...well she's definitely in it. But, she's soooo sorry to "ruin my life." Plus, she cries that I'm mad and bitter at her right now. That she doesn't know what to say? Come on? Really?

Is it really so surprising that I have gone from being shocked, saddened and depressed to angry, bitter and spiteful. Again...really?

She's sorry, but she not in the right frame of mind, and I'm not sure when or ever she'll be in the right frame of mind at all.

I will say this about her - she is trying her best to think about the kids; but, it really makes me wonder if that will get "clouded" too.

So, my answer, in a long and drawn-out fashion, is yes and no. Yes - she is somewhat sorry, and no - because I don't think she has truly realized the ripples that this divorce is going to create.

Sorry for rambling...all of this, including everyone that has posted something makes me ill.

I guess I got some healing to go through and process.

Nope.

Another mood swinging apology here. He never meant it. One day it was brief sorry next day I was F'ing b---- C---t once again.

I'm with do-over. All words, no actions.

Keeps saying he's sorry he hurt me. Never said he was sorry for what he did to hurt me.

(((Onceinalivetime)))

Am I holding my breath for nothing?

Probably...

I will probably never get a sincere apology from him. If he ever did apologize to me, it would be selfishly motivated with some underlying personal gain. In essence, he would want something from me...FIRST. (ETA: but, he wouldn't let me know what he wanted FIRST...he would just manipulate it out of me).

[This message edited by lsccbean at 8:12 AM, September 8th (Wednesday)]

My XH apologised profusely, over and over again. But when I said, "So what are you going to do to fix it?" I was met with blameshifting, justifications and copouts.

Part of a sincere apology is restitution and making right what you screwed up. Even though I gave him every chance, he wouldn't do ANYTHING to fix himself or our marriage.

It was easier for him to cut and run.

I will be receiving an apology when I can flap my arms and fly to the moon.

Seriously. He does not think he did anything wrong.

Cat