SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Well, we have been getting along really well lately. He has been very loving, open, and trying very hard to make things up to me. We had a great weekend.

We had MC tonight and it was rough. We brought up issues with his moodiness and his unpredictable reactions and anger. That has been an issue in our M and one of the reasons that we were distant prior to the A. Now that I feel like things are starting to calm down and we are beginning to really work on our issues, he is starting to bail.

He just wants the whole thing to be over. He feels horrible, and guilty. He wants to forget it ever happened.

I want to get to the bottom of things so that we will be stronger than before so we will never be in this position again.

He got angry, said he thought MC was a waste of time. He blew off IC last week and is not taking it seriously. I told him that I have a hard time having faith in him when he doesnt take IC seriously.

Now things are worse than before. He stomped upstairs and went to bed and I am livid!

This is so damn hard!

I'm so sorry you're having a bad night confused.

Sending you a hug!

Maybe you need a different MC. Ours was terrible, ask H if that is the problem?

Maybe he stomped away because things are hitting home to him.. maybe they aren't as bad as you think. I find I always anticipate the worse in these situations.. I'm up all night worrying and then it ends up that he's not really thinking things are as bad as I do. Thinking of you... wishing you good thoughts!

I agree...he stomped away because he didn't want to hear the things he knows deep down he did. Frankly, it is similar to a child. In my case, I have a beautiful and talented teen-aged daughter who is mature in so many ways, but still tends to do this when a discussion hits home...or when she doesn't get her way (she almost always apologizes later).

Although you can explain his behavior, do not allow yourself to enable it. While we all need our cooling off times, and I'm sure your husband is the same way, it is not okay to push the hard stuff away with a temper tantrum. He does need to deal with these issues before true R can take off.

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I know that somewhere on SI recently, someone posted the typical stages of a WS. I think it was in Wayward. I'll try to find it and post it here. It may not solve anything, but it could give you a different way to look at it.

For me, I like to know all I can about any situation. Research, reading...even though I can't change it, at least I have a good idea about what is really happening...and it allows me to be more removed from the emotional part. Maybe removed isn't the right word...detached? Objective? Well...anyway, the more information I have, the better!

I hope this morning brings peace to you.

I'd try to ignore his childish behavior, but I wouldn't let up on the MC and IC. He's starting to face what he did, and he doesn't want to. But he needs to.