Five years ago today, my WH threw MOW under the bus and decided to reconcile. Two days prior, he'd asked for a D, and moved out of the house. MOW moved in with him the next night (to the no tell motel).
He'd known his AP about two months, kissed her the first week they met, and sex wasn't far behind that. I never saw it coming...
I remember sitting in the therapists office and asking "what am I supposed to do with all this information??" And he answered "You have to decide what you can live with".
Five years later, looking back, the therapist was right in many ways. I cannot undo what was done. FWH cannot undo what was done. We had to work hard and rebuild, and it has been VERY HARD to get where we are today. And I had to come to terms with the fact that the A was NOT about me. It was not an evil plan set out to destroy my life. As a matter of fact, I didn't even come to mind during the moments of betrayal.
I was only collateral damage.
For my family, I can live with that. To keep myself safe I have had to help make my M stronger and become stronger myself. And now that I have had "practice", I have come to terms with the fact that I can never do this again. Part of making ME STRONGER... is knowing what I will do in the future if it were to occur a second time. And making sure I am in a position to carry out that reality if need be.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, Bye Bye.
I love him, and I love my family. But I gotta have self love in there too.
