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SoldieringOn ( member #29487) posted at 9:55 PM on Friday, November 19th, 2010
Gemini, I've been reading your posts. Give yourself a bit of time before you burn any bridges, and in that time, do whatever is necessary to avoid causing more damage to the relationship. That doesn't include the pursuit of the truth and honesty, but you may need to temper your reactions to it or how you draw it out. Seperation is fine if that is what is necessary to avoid more damage at this point - but its hard to heal a marriage when you are apart. I don't mean to suggest that this cannot be a dealbreaker for you. But does it have to be? Its your decision, but I would caution you to not make it in anger or in haste. You may end up questioning that later. You can always divorce - anytime. And it will always be the same level of difficulty to do so. But its awfully hard to undivorce. You owe her nothing, but as you say, "Could I forgive myself if I gave up on her at precicely the time when she reached her Epiphany?"
Good luck to you brother, and good luck.
Soldier 45
DBGS Ex Wife 44
Was Married 21 Years
Son - 13 years old
D-Day 23 AUG 10
Divorced 5 OCT 11
GeminiDream (original poster member #30027) posted at 10:07 PM on Friday, November 19th, 2010
Here's a helpful link about women and sexual addiction. I'm sure there's more, this is just one result from Googling the term:
http://www.nacronline.com/addictions/women-and-sexual-addiction
You owe her nothing, but as you say, "Could I forgive myself if I gave up on her at precicely the time when she reached her Epiphany?"
...and that's the fulcrum of my see-saw.
"If I listen long enough to you, I'd find a way to believe it's all true. Knowing that you lied, straight-faced, while I cried. Still, I look to find a reason to believe."
Sumrlady ( member #4355) posted at 2:35 AM on Saturday, November 20th, 2010
Her: (six hours later, after her FIRST IC) "Dr. XYZ is in agreement with you, I am wrong and am the only reason for the current situation.
I don't see any epiphany here. It takes her Dr. to tell her she is wrong? Hello?? And nowhere in that text did she admit to being wrong - she just said her Dr agrees with you. No epiphany. No owning her own shit. No apology, no acknowledgement of the pain she's caused. Nothing.
I don't know why you see this text as a hopeful sign.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover-Mark Twain
GeminiDream (original poster member #30027) posted at 3:33 AM on Saturday, November 20th, 2010
I don't know why you see this text as a hopeful sign.
I don't.
"If I listen long enough to you, I'd find a way to believe it's all true. Knowing that you lied, straight-faced, while I cried. Still, I look to find a reason to believe."
palerider ( member #22496) posted at 7:13 AM on Saturday, November 20th, 2010
Palerider, In light of your research on the "female affair high" can you suggest any websites or books that help explain this? Thanks!
I'd be interested in that too, Palerider
Sorry to thread jack.
Cut and paste the next line into google:
brain sex PEA dopamine
You'll get six months worth of books, articles, and websites. Happy Reading.
ETA: also google this string:
semen mood altering drug
Explains why rubbers are never used and a partial explanation for serials (rebound effect).
[This message edited by palerider at 10:11 AM, November 20th (Saturday)]
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