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trek (original poster new member #30998) posted at 3:15 AM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
Thanks all.
I am definitely the fuk up here and have made mistakes. My "drive by" posts are not intended to anger anyone. I'm here when I'm trying to keep from offing myself and looking for strategies that work for others b/c I need to be able to handle his emotions without becoming emotional. Its a constant struggle. Do not intend to sound lashing, but when I'm posting while both feet are dangling in my ice cold swimming pool being berated doesn't exactly quell my suicidal thoughts. Didn't understand that stop sign thing. Duly noted. Perhaps I'm in the wrong place all together. I don't have the capacity to post any more today, my face is upsetting my children very much. Truly Thanks. I'll try to post history if someone can share with me where I'm supposed to do that.
floridaredman ( member #15122) posted at 3:18 AM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
In your profile is a box entitled "My Story". You can write your history there if you wish.
" floridaredman, it's good to have you here"...DeeplyScared
Sleep Peacefully
BaxtersBFF ( member #26859) posted at 4:32 AM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
Trek,
Despite our strong words, we are all here together. We are all here for you. But we can't make you take the steps that you need to take to get through this. You have to do that. We can only give our thoughts and advice based on our experience. It may come in the form of a 2x4, but it is delivered with a sort of love that only the comradery of the Wayward forum can deliver. Remember, we have all cheated too. We are no better or worse than you. We all know that. It's just that some have worked their way through where you are at right now. Take from their experience.
The stop sign is a good tool for the WS. Don't underestimate it's value, especially in these early days of posting.
If you are feeling suicidal at all, please reach out for help.
Also, the fact that you recognize your expressions are hurting your kids is significant. Your actions and reactions affect them. Remember that. It doesn't mean you have to be a doormat, but they can serve as a reminder for you to recognize where your turmoil really lies. And that is inside you my friend.
One final word, it is okay to take a break. I have noticed a pattern for myself where I will surf and read, but not post. then my posts increase until there is a blow-up. Then I am a post whore for a day or two. then it wanes and I can go days without coming here. SI can be a support system.
Take what you need and leave the rest.
Fighting2Survive ( member #28410) posted at 12:40 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
trek,
Amerasia mentioned the book "Not Just Friends" so I want to just second that recommendation. It was very helpful to both FWH and me because it gave us a way to see the each other's needs. After D-day, everything is upside down and it is a struggle to see each other clearly. Shirley Glass's book helped us get to the place where we could do that.
Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well
"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces
Deeply Scared ( Administrator #2) posted at 3:37 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
trek...
Lost didn't deserve your snarky reply.
Please post respectfully or you will lose your profile.
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)
My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.
trek (original poster new member #30998) posted at 4:47 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
What he wrote was respectful? Already requested the delete of my profile. Done. Thanks very much to the rest of you, wish you the best. Kept me out of the pool for one more day.
Kamkim ( member #29672) posted at 4:59 PM on Tuesday, March 1st, 2011
Bw here, the only thing my H can do with my mood swings is to be consistent with his reassurance.
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