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The Book Club :
Alpha Males

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 sadcat (original poster member #8637) posted at 4:55 PM on Saturday, April 9th, 2011

Why are they such assholes? Ugh...

Never let your fear decide your fate.....AWOLNATION

If this isn't what I consider soulmate crap, I don't know what is.

posts: 13597   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2005   ·   location: GA
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story to tell ( member #30200) posted at 2:06 PM on Wednesday, April 13th, 2011

I'm not an expert at this, and there is considerable debate about whether the "Alpha" type of social animal can be useful when talking about humans, but there is this idea that the traits that caused the male to achieve the "Alpha" label, mainly agressiveness, goal-oriented, and confidence, can cause him to be not so good at traits such as compromise and empathy. Traits like these are important in any couple relationship, and Alpha males may come across as domineering and an "asshole" because of it.

Just my two cents worth.

ME: BS, 46
Her: WW, 42
Married 14 years
2 young girls
EA 10/14/10-11/03/10
PA 10/22/10-11/03/10
DDay 11/04/10

posts: 367   ·   registered: Nov. 24th, 2010
id 5183713
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 sadcat (original poster member #8637) posted at 1:17 AM on Monday, April 18th, 2011

i am kinda wondering how/why this got moved to general...but I guess I should have been more specific.

"alpha male main characters in books, why are they such assholes" was what I meant!

I can't stand reading a "romance" and the "hero" is a total asshole and I cannot understand what on earth the heroine sees in the dickhead.

Never let your fear decide your fate.....AWOLNATION

If this isn't what I consider soulmate crap, I don't know what is.

posts: 13597   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2005   ·   location: GA
id 5192046
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NewAttitude ( member #1030) posted at 1:23 AM on Monday, April 18th, 2011

Okay, thank you.

Now it will be moved back.

Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.

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id 5192061
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NewAttitude ( member #1030) posted at 1:03 PM on Monday, April 18th, 2011

Alpha males in books are my downfall.

I think there is a difference (subtle but it's there lol) between a true alpha male and just a jerk or bastard.

The funny thing is, though... I LOVE to read them but there is no way in hell I could stand to live with one.

I guess that's why it's fiction.

I don't even fantasize about having one... I just like reading about them, I guess.

Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.

posts: 58732   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2003
id 5192616
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StillGoing ( member #28571) posted at 5:05 PM on Monday, April 18th, 2011

Sauron was an Alpha-Maiar and he got rolled by tubby little emo kids.

It balances out sometimes.

Tempus Fuckit.

- Ricky

posts: 7918   ·   registered: May. 21st, 2010   ·   location: USA
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NewAttitude ( member #1030) posted at 5:20 PM on Monday, April 18th, 2011

Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.

posts: 58732   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2003
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ladyvorkosigan ( member #8283) posted at 9:51 AM on Tuesday, April 19th, 2011

Same, NA. My tastes in actual men are vastly different from my tastes in fictional men.

Let us take the love of my life, Barrons, for example.

I would kill that motherfucker over and over for the sheer joy of it. He's always in a bitch mood, he apparently can't get turned on unless he's been fighting with you, he doesn't have to sleep, and he has a permanent erection.

All these factors indicate to me that fucking Barrons would not fall in line with my preferences, which is sportfucking followed immediately by attacking my DVR backlog. Never sleeps? Permanent enormous erection? That alone would be absolutely unbearable IRL. He would probably also have opinions on things that would differ from my own and would go to the mat for all of them, and this aggression will not stand, man. Additionally, he has secrets, and that is not allowed. If there is anything I require from a man, it is to *know him*. I don't care for mysterious men IRL. I like someone who will subject himself to basically having a psychological autopsy performed on him while he is still alive. I want to know him.

But in fiction he's totes my boyfriend.

[This message edited by ladyvorkosigan at 4:01 AM, April 19th (Tuesday)]

It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

posts: 14226   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2005   ·   location: Florida
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 sadcat (original poster member #8637) posted at 9:57 PM on Sunday, April 24th, 2011

Ugh see I can't stand even fictional alpha males. Well the jerky asshole ones anyway.

My favorite heros are always the nice guys!

Never let your fear decide your fate.....AWOLNATION

If this isn't what I consider soulmate crap, I don't know what is.

posts: 13597   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2005   ·   location: GA
id 5204812
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