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beenthere2? ( member #28554) posted at 2:25 AM on Friday, December 2nd, 2011
Not only has she not changed and that this is a major setback, but you guys are not in R.
A couple in R are both trying to fix the relationship.
She doesn't care about you and your feelings. She doesn't care about your marriage. She is only concerned about herself.
Me: BW 34 Him: WH 36
Married 10
Dday #1 5/15/10 claimed EA/just friends
#2 9/20/10 (admitted to kiss w/ same OW
#3 11/29/10 admitted to a lot more
momdaughterwife ( member #32209) posted at 3:55 AM on Friday, December 2nd, 2011
Major. Don't put up with this. Stand your ground in whatever way you need to do. Have you tried the 180? Are you taking care of you, or catering to her? Flirting is not okay, especially with 'friends because they like it.' My WS was a flirt and continued after his affairs. I gave an ultimatum and he has stopped texting women. The phone is transparent. He leaves it unattended now! I can't watch his every move, but the phone usage must be
respectful and transparent. She
should flirt with you!!!
Me BS
Him WH
2 boys
We've all been through a lot. Our family seems to be thriving again. I pray that will continue.
momdaughterwife ( member #32209) posted at 3:59 AM on Friday, December 2nd, 2011
P.S. Flirting IMO, is like a 'gateway' drug. It leads to worse, in all too many cases. It's a dangerous tightrope she's walking. IMO, she needs to get with your program to be in true R.
Me BS
Him WH
2 boys
We've all been through a lot. Our family seems to be thriving again. I pray that will continue.
slicerboy (original poster member #22202) posted at 4:19 AM on Friday, December 2nd, 2011
she's being transparent today, but two days ago she wasn't. I hate the roller coaster and yeah I agree it takes 2 to R, she doesn't get it.
I'm doing the 180, and I'm not pursuing it, not asking questions, not talking about it.
I'm leaning on you all and thanks for listening.
Me: New beginnings
Her: Left her family without a plan
Two children, innocent victims (15 & 17)
Married March 1996
Divorced January 2016
jimbo25319 ( member #31891) posted at 2:24 PM on Friday, December 2nd, 2011
Disfespect and deceit ARE dealbreakers. Continue your 180 until she either "gets it" or you've had enough.
slicerboy (original poster member #22202) posted at 8:56 PM on Friday, December 2nd, 2011
The 180 feels nice, calming actually. Helps me see the issue in a different light.
I've also discussed this with a close friend and he agrees that flirting behavior is disrespectful. I've stated how I feel about it and although not a dealbreaker today, it very well could be a deal breaker in the future.
Me: New beginnings
Her: Left her family without a plan
Two children, innocent victims (15 & 17)
Married March 1996
Divorced January 2016
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