SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Xrated greeting cards... right in our garage in the saddle bags of his motorcycle.

What a dumb fuck

The way the bed smelled from OW1 as well as tried spots on the bed. OW2 was dried white spots on the light tan sofa...

Those are the ones off the top of my head.

when he left he would come over to see the kids and i would sneak out and check the car for receipts and dickhead left them there i knew what suburb he was at and where he had gone and i was recieving bank statements also got his work mobile phone and bingo i am realising we are dealing with sick sick mentally ill people.

To LostCowboy--wow. Cannot imagine. Talk about feeling sliced open. Just to commiserate, 5 months after DDay stumbled on a vid he had taken with a hookup, wedding ring ON

To 2024--I told my WH today that he was scary smart. He thinks up excuses SO fast or resorts to 'I don't know.' I swear if it had been my WH and a love letter IN his writing, he would have told me he didn't know how it got there!!!

Nothing, not one thing.

love the term "pigtures" btw

I love that too! Goes well with my line about his SOW. Fitting.

I had thought I never saw anything, but reading these, I know I had asked him about long, blonde hair on his robe and he said it must have been our daughte's - even though it had been washed and she had not been there in months after moving to another state. There were also other things he mentioned in passing (guilt?) that would have raised questions had I not stupidly trusted this man.

Some very strange things. Well it wan't oin my home it was at my inlaws house. I fouund a silver bracelet that is the most gaudy thing. It was on the floor in the shower. I thought the house was empty and we had it on the market. My Wh would go up there and paint the house , by himself alot! I also found a bottle of men's cologne in his drawer that I would never buy him. It smells like night in the litter box. Both really puzzled me. I though possibly the RE lady dropped it when showing off the houser. So I called her and asked id she lost a bracelet. She said no, It puzzles me (not really) to this day.

VERY EXPENSIVE golf clubs.....clothes that I never bought him (and trust me, he was not into fashion- so, he didn't buy them either!)..... interesting books (I don't even think he still knows where the local bookstore is?)....and gift cards.....

Makes me pissed to even think about it now...all the "excuses" I accepted!!! All bullshit!!

Not too much. I found an outfit (ice cream parlor girl) that she had worn for him that was in our closet , some thigh high stockings that had been reference in their emails. Pretty much had to throw away all her cute bras and panties since she had paraded around in them while they where skyping with each other

I almost died laughing at this for the sheer simple fact I read this as though a woman had posted it(bad habit, I do that alot where I automatically assume the poster is female...and NO I didn't look at the posters name before reading!) So I thought, WTF OW has a lot of nerve keeping all her bras and panties at your house!!!!! OH MY! Well at least I got a chuckle out of it.

I found her underwear in his truck, does that count???

Really???? How does a person forget their underwear. I mean seriously???!!! Stupid HO! Man, I'd mail that to her husband, her father, her boss...the newspaper.

love the term "pigtures" btw

*bow* thank you, thank you very much! After recovering from the shock of seeing said pigtures, it just seemed a natural progression that she would be refered to as ditchPIG.

Feel free to use those terms in any context and at any time, tis quite cathartic!

His BF told me that the underwear got there on one of their first dates, they went to store to get more beer and she took them off and placed them under seat as a gift to him. pleease!!! she wanted me to find them and I did. Skinny girl wearing wal mart briefs, pleease!!! Oh and he had a small picture of her face hidden in his glove compartment. I found it 3 months into R, thats how I finally found out who it was. I guess he must have thought she was something to look at, that he needed a keepsake. What a loser!!!!!

I was paying bills online. We had changed cell phone providers in April, and the printed statements which we opted for from the new provider did not have the calls listed.

This was August, 4 mos later, and I just happened to open the call log online. Hadn't dont that with the new service.

WH's history is in my profile, but periodically I make sure to be aware of his actions, or look for evidence that the AP from his previous marriage might be fishing again.

2002 and 2004, here on out to be known as the V-day card/cookies incident, and the long, handwritten letter that he burned without reading incident, seemed far away in 2010.

I can't remember if I already knew her BH was killed on his job or not. WH said he found out from reading his old town's newspaper articles online.

I found several calls to one number, Googled it, couldn't find a name, so I paid one of those services and found it was her.

I pulled previous months, and found he initiated a call to her office number June 27, 2010, while I was not home. The rest of the numbers where either her cell phone or home phone, I don't remember, but think it's cell phone.

He had texting cut off, because he always said he didn't like it, but I think now he was stingy and didn't want to pay for it. The phone we just got in Dec have text, and I triggered badly at the store when he said he wanted to try it because I use it and so do the boys. I agreed to it as long as he deletes nothing unless I see it, plus there is a log to see if they are all there.

What I found that night, the night I didn't sleep until daylight because he was on a midnight job, is 55 attempts to call her over 2 mos' time, and 36 conversations.

He checked on her because her husband died, she is a friend from high school that could discuss things I couldn't, she iz his age and sympathized with growing older (we have 11 yr age diff) and he said when asked why, "It's a weakness I have."

whether it's holding onto past, to soothe his own soul and convince them he really does care (does he? or is he conceited and just wants them to think he's that swell of a guy?) , or finding 'a bright spot in his day' (his words), it wasn't what I expected from our relationship, especially when he saw how upset I was at her fishing attempts those two years.

I am moving forward, working on my reaction and issues with this, but I'm pretty convinced that it will always cause me great pain when I call up the memory of that night -- the night I found out that no matter how much he says he loves me, he loves himself more, enough to hurt me in the process.

I found a lying cheater of a husband.

My WW is supposedly "slow" when it comes to computers/phones. But she ALWAYS wiped them completely clean. I.e. never any call/text messages on the phone , she deleted all of the emails, all of the yahoo IM conversations ,.... If the OM hadn't gotten mad at her and sent me a text, I would never have known about their 3 yr PA/EA ( stupid of me I know but I had no reason to NOT trust her)

She did tell me he gave her a camisole but I never fouund it in the home. I was told he was never there...

What I found in my home is how I put it all together.

Just before leaving for a few days for a meeting, I had thrown away something from the refrigerator into a new garbage bag. Gone for a few days, was back home, and noticed that there was a brand new garbage bag with nothing in it. I realized that was odd.

I went out to the garage found the "now full" garbage bag. Which included empty wine bottles, cigarette butts, food packaging garbage. Keep in mind that neither of us smoke. Hmmmmm.

Didn't take a genius at this point to figure out that someone had been at my house.

I confronted my wife...I asked who was at our house while I was gone. Her answer was no one, just her. I asked it again, got the same answer. Then I asked her if no one had been to our house why is the garbage bag full of cigarette butts. This was the beginning of TT.

Now the answer became a friend from work stopped by. Really? How come there are empty wine bottles? The answer became I had a glass and dumped the rest of the bottle. Really?

She ended up telling me "I can have friends over to our house anytime I want" Really? Male friends at my house, that I've never met, when I'm not home! WTF!

I remember her telling me that like it was yesterday. And that happened years ago.

Struggling16

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I found a lying cheater of a husband.

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Me too!

Panties--granny panties, which I never wear--in my laundry basket when I came home from a work trip overseas.

Gray pearls (from a necklace) on the floor beside my bed. I don't own gray pearls and I very much doubt that HE did!

And for the poster who said, "Really???? How does a person forget their underwear. I mean seriously???!!! Stupid HO!", let me add that they DON'T forget their underwear. They plant it. Or an earring.

[This message edited by lynnm1947 at 12:45 PM, February 24th (Friday)]