SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

This thread is great! It is so cool to read through the posts and see all the ways we make our lives enjoyable. I think it's vital to make our NB not just about finding a new partner.

My NB has involved reading! I have always loved to read, and it really fell off when I had kids/house/no help from XH. Now I have time to enjoy books again and I go to the library a lot.

Cleaning/organizing my home and making it 100% mine. Now that weather is warming up, I've devoted time outside and I am excited to garden and plant flowers.

Friends! I have made a big point to not neglect my friendships and even though I can't always get together I've been reaching out to my friends more consistently.

Healthy living - I've been sleeping better/more, and going to the gym frequently. And I've had time to do some cooking, although I've always cooked it's nice to have leftovers lol.

I also booked a solo vacation in two weeks. I wanted to go, and so I am. The freedom to live my life on my terms is so empowering.

Started going to local hockey games with friends and have become a big fan of the sport.

Began working a second job at the yarn store. Didn't work much over the winter but am test knitting a new design for the owner and loving the challenge.

Am BUYING A HOUSE! Can you tell I'm excited? Spent 17 years renting with XH and after 1.5 years alone I'm ready and able to purchase something all by myself. With the wonderful support and help from my mom I got it fixed up and ready and now I'm cutting the strings from her and going it alone. I LOVE knowing that I can take care of myself.

Setting a good financial example for DS who is in college and am able to help him more than I ever anticipated.

Why was I ever scared of D? All it's done is empower me.

This IS a great thread!

My life is virtually unrecognisable from what it was on Dday. With my three teenagers in tow, I've moved countries and continents, bought a house in a city that I lived in before I moved to my Ex's country--near my best friends, got rid of a shit ton of clutter in the process and have completely started my life over. It's SO much more my life then anything about my marriage ever was for me. I go see the bands that I want to see, I get out to museums when I fancy it. Honestly, the affair and the subsequent end of my marriage was the best thing to happen to me even though it certainly didn't feel like it at the time.

I know this will sound like a small thing in comparison to all of the above, but last weekend I went to the garden store and bought myself a few pots and some herbs, soil, etc... I then youtubed the hell out of how to grow your own herbs and I planted them accordingly. My Ex was the *gardener* and the marital home had a great herb garden which was handy for cooking. It's the one thing that I missed and now I don't have to.

My NB non-dating life isn't completed--I'm actively looking for work and that is slow going and is a big part of my reinvention of my life for myself. That will be a huge moment in my NB. I struggled to find meaningful work in the English countryside and to juggle the kids school and activities schedules on top. My Ex was all about his career agenda and my need to work and find meaning and validation was of zero concern to him. So, once I get that established, I will feel like I'm 99% the new old me.