SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I got "You'll always have a special place in my heart but I'm in love with her now." All I could say was "Wow...really?"

I tried to explain, as ShellyBean2012 did, that being "in love" comes and goes in a 20yr relationship. But real love is the kind of love where you put up with your partner's shit, sometimes literally, every single day through the good and the bad. When they're in the fog, they're idiots...

I can't wait for the OW to have to put up with his shit - literally and figuratively! She doesn't have a clue what he's really like - just how well he can text!

Mine looked me straight in the eye and said..I do not love you anymore. That was before I confirmed A. 2 weeks later, he changed his mind :eyes. I should have believed him the first time. I do believe its actually an ILYBINILWY situation, he just won't say it now.

I can’t remember. We went in so many circles. He had no idea what he felt or what he wanted. It was unfathomable to me. How can you be with someone for 7 years, marry them, yet your feelings change on a dime with no incident? Whatever he felt, no matter how he dressed it up, he loved me as much as he was capable and it was insufficient for me.

I got this too. One among too many things that have been said that are burned into my memory also.

I wish I had the forethought to google ILYBNILWY immediately after I heard it. The answer is right there. I asked many times after hearing it if there was someone else. Deny. Deny. Deny. Two weeks later-D-Day.

Now that we are attempting to R after a year separation, WH says that he did always still love me. MC asked if I believed that and I said no I did not believe that he loved me at the time. Why would he have done what he did if he loved me?

I hope that the memory of ILYBNILWY will not sting as much in the future.

Dup post.

[This message edited by keeponkeepingon at 4:11 PM, August 21st (Tuesday)]

I got a part of me will always love you because you are the mother of my son. Now he says he would be devasted without me and that he really loves me.

((((Ama))))

(((everyone else)))

On dday when I confronted, the only thing he said about his feeling was, "I've been dead inside for so long, I can't feel anything anymore." And I have no doubt that was a true statement.

[This message edited by nowiknow23 at 4:32 PM, August 21st (Tuesday)]

I didn't get the ilybinilwy although on d-day I asked him "do you love her?" and he said yes. I then asked him if he still loves me and he said yes. I didn't clarify at the time who he was "in love with" which is probably a good thing.

But recently when we were talking and the conversation got to how he felt about me then, he said that he always loved me during his affair, he just didn't like me very much - I guess that the ilybinilwy just didn't get said, but it was felt...

So when we were just friends and would talk about our love lives, he would tell me about his ex and say "I loved her, but I wasn't in love with her"....

I got

"I love you, but I'm not in love with you"

when I was begging him to not throw everything away..

In all honesty, I wish he would have rather said he never loved me..and everything was just a facade..I would never forget that statement..it shattered my heart more than anything else that went down.. actually, it still does! each time I hear it, it brings back all the pain!

wtf does it even mean? You don't break someone's heart if you love them..regardless of whether you are 'in love' with them...

[This message edited by broken29 at 6:48 PM, August 21st (Tuesday)]

I got "I love you, but not in the way you want me to".

and..."I will always love you as the mother of my child"

and.."You were always my best friend (throughout the 2 year A)

and .."we will always have a deep connection"

Oh, give me a break. STFU, assface.

How about this, she shouts through the phone:

"get it in your head, I don't want you!!!!"

I think I would have preferred the ilybinilwy.

I got it; then it changed as time went on after d-day. At first it wasn't long that he he been feeling like that...then it was months, then years. Um, okay. Whatever justified his actions to himself is how long it was.

I also sorta felt like he felt like OW was the FIRST and ONLY person he ever really connected with. I say that because he told me how love shouldn't take 'work'.

Well A's don't take a lot of work like a house, kids and a marriage do. Fucking duh!

I wish I had the forethought to google ILYBNILWY immediately after I heard it. The answer is right there. I asked many times after hearing it if there was someone else. Deny. Deny. Deny. Two weeks later-D-Day.

It took us 3 weeks until "there is noone else" had a name

The worst was when he said "I only love you like a friend". This was a couple months into S and he was in la-la luuuuv land living with the OW