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exhaustedHeart (original poster member #36297) posted at 4:10 PM on Friday, August 24th, 2012
Shit, we have an anniversary coming up in a few weeks. WW was crushed when I told her I didn't know if I wanted to go out. I certainly don't feel like "celebrating" it. I am leaning towards just doing a low-key time together away to do some repair work but even that's going to be hard. It seems like trying to repair hurricane damage in a thunderstorm!
Would it be better to just do nothing special on the day? 
Me: BS,48
Her: WS,47
OW 51 Ex-con, HARD Butch Lesbian living in her mom's basement
OM (Previous 2 Year A)~62 Sleazy, Stereotypical Italian Hairdresser
M 22 years, 3 kids(8, 15, 18)
DDay1 7/21/12
DDay2 8/31/12
NC Broken 12/7/12
wifehad5 ( Administrator #15162) posted at 5:28 PM on Friday, August 24th, 2012
What you're feeling is really common, especially when the anniversary isn't far from d-day. Do what you feel you need to do.
FBH - 52 FWW - 53 (BrokenRoad)2 kids 17 & 22The people you do your life with shape the life you live
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 5:55 PM on Friday, August 24th, 2012
What do you want to do? I can understand not wanting to celebrate this close to dday. Everything is still so raw. What about just having dinner delivered? If you want to forget the day for this year that's ok, too.
JMOARCAO ( new member #36513) posted at 6:48 PM on Friday, August 24th, 2012
My WW was devasted when I wouldn't celebrate our anniversary. Our d-day was in Feb and Anniversary in May. There really is nothing to celebrate this close.
Me: BH32
WW 33
Married 9 years. Together 17 years
2 wonderful daughters
D-Day 2-8-2012 PA with a personal trainer at the gym. A-hole doesn't even have a great body.
Status: Trying to keep it together.
lovescars ( new member #35733) posted at 11:59 PM on Friday, August 24th, 2012
I hear you. My DD was just weeks before our 13 year anniversary. 23 years together. I didn't want to celebrate it at all. WH asked if I wanted to go out that evening. I took a few days to mull it over. I decided to go, but it was very low key, just casual dinner and a walk on the beach. I'm glad I did. We talked some.
If YOU want to go, then go out. If not, don't. Is WW remorseful, trying to do what she needs to help you and your relationship heal?
It was hard for me, with DD so raw and fresh (still is). Look within and do what feels right for you.
kansas1968 ( member #32214) posted at 2:56 AM on Saturday, August 25th, 2012
DDay was Dec. 14, and our anniversary (43) was January 14. I just told him I wanted 5,000 cash on my anniversary (an amount of money I knew for sure that he had given her) and that was all. I got the money with a smile. 
The next year, I told him I still really didn't want to acknowledge it. He was a little hurt but didn't push it and we just ignored the day.
I think that one of these days I will think up a fun way to re-commit and then make that our new anniversary. We are going to Las Vegas next month and I though about surprising him in a kick-ass dress in the little chaple that is on the Flamingo property (where we are staying) and have the new vows written for us to say and maybe even put my wedding rings back on. I just don't think I am quite ready though. Maybe next year.
Anniversaries are one of the biggest triggers there are.
Me - BS
Him - FWS
DD - December 14, 2010
Married 43 years 1/14/2011
Affair lasted 7+ years
Affair had been over for 2 years before I found out. OW sent me a letter.
Ghostrider ( member #32604) posted at 1:30 AM on Sunday, August 26th, 2012
People are on all areas of the spectrum on this. Do what you feel like. Everybody's experiences are different.
I don't celebrate our anniversary anymore. Our "13th" is in September. But I don't feel married. I guess three OM's in 12 months kinda does that. At work, people think I have one of the longest and best marriages. I chuckle.
BH (me), WW (her), 2 boys
"You will never be the same. You accept it. You will never have closure. There is no such a word as closure. Closure does not exist. Life is different. Now you get to choose what you're going to do with it."
Angelstar5 ( member #35276) posted at 10:32 AM on Sunday, August 26th, 2012
ours is Sept 5th...the big SILVER aka 25 yrs 
25 yrs of shit. I pray daily the shit has hit the fan and flown everywhere but on me from now on. I pray but still...i have knots in my tummy as i type this.
I love him, i hate him, i adore him and i loathe him.
Great marriage huh?
Me 56,WH 55alcoholic/Married 25y
2 kids age 16 and 28
DDay #1-7/3/94 hooker, DDAY #2,2/10/12 found 100's of calls to a hooker gaslighting begins. DDay#3 3/26/12 proof/TT DDay#4 3/28/12 weekly sex with 2 hookers Dec-Feb. Several EAs
Looby-loo ( member #34726) posted at 10:46 AM on Sunday, August 26th, 2012
Our anniversary will be Sept 25th but we are D'g, so no celebration.
I think if we were staying together, then I would want to go somewhere private. I like the sound of a walk on the beach. In an ideal world I could imagine bringing a bottle of red wine to the beach with two glasses and sitting beside each other, talking, reminiscing some good memories and working on making a new commitment. Ever the idealist me. I do hope whatever you choose to do, there is some glint of hope and who knows a little bit of happiness rekindled for you. If you are working on R, then this date is an important one for making a step, no matter how small. I sort of feel if you ignore it because of your pain, it will cause you more pain.
That said, you must do what you feel able to do and to suit your personal situation.
Sending you both heartfelt hugs for your difficult decisions.
ღ♥¸¸.•*´¯`♥ღ LOVE HURTS ღ♥¸¸.•*´¯`♥ღ
DD 1: 27/12/11
DD 2: 16/04/12
Me: 49 (now 50)
WS: 44 (now 45)
OW: 33 (now 34)
Status: Divorcing / Selling our House
imarriedmymother ( member #34360) posted at 7:00 PM on Sunday, August 26th, 2012
Shit, we have an anniversary coming up in a few weeks
Shit is right! It's your call. My DD and 25th anniversary's are coming up and not looking forward to either. WW called from AP's condo to wish me a "Happy 24th". This year's should be a bit more warm and fuzzy. 
[This message edited by imarriedmymother at 9:46 PM, August 26th (Sunday)]
M 24 yrs
DD 9/9/11
Drunken ONS w/aquaintance, EA/PA with co-worker. Moved in w/AP 10/1/11, Kicked Out 12/19/11
Recongealed
24 years down the tubes, but at least I lost my man boobs.
leakingheart85 ( member #9710) posted at 1:59 AM on Monday, August 27th, 2012
Since February of 1985 there have two celebrations of our wedding anniversary. Both of them were surprise parties thrown by friends.
The date is just another day not worthy of any note. I no longer wear a wedding ring. I no longer refer to her as my wife. This has been since 1985 and that is a lot of years to hold a grudge.
If you want the reasons read my profile.
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