SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I've been working on the letter sporadically, well actually quite a bit since my original posting. First draft is complete and is just over a page in word. Going to revisit later today, hopefully edit down some more. Probably will send Monday daytime when he's at work and she's not around him.

"Wait till after you guys have spoken, then tell you BS so they can watch their back. Things sometimes get messy."

I have been struggling with that. I don't know her so no idea how she would react.

Right now the letter says in the end that I would appreciate an acknowledgment that she's received it and that I have not told anyone else, including WS yet.

I did not say it in the letter directly that I wanted to give her (OM BS) time to get the goods on him (OM) herself, but I pointed her to where to find things. I realized in writing the letter that all his communications have been through googlevoice (calls/texts) and email so she might have a good chance if I don't blow the lid. I doubt there are phone bills or other evidence. Douche asshole is not a dummy and I'm sure his side is fort knox on hiding everything. If he doesn't know, his guard might be down and she might have a chance.

Then again, it's not a question of if, but when the shit hits the fan I guess. Maybe I'm over-thinking this. Wouldn't be the first time I'm overthinking things this past few weeks

Through the multiple acts of betrayal my WS has committed she really has no clue what I know. I shut my mouth, zipped it shut. Had to protect my assets. Well the party isnt over. My lawyer gets to send a lawsuit letter to OM. This is sporting for him. He has been carrying on many times behind his BS back. It really is sad. I guess I call it shock and awe. My WS has not asked about anything, put her tail between her legs, left the marital home, got another job, doesn't have enough money to get the quadro going. What a show.

i disagree with the certified letter. Its easy, esp if both work for him to get the notices and destroy those. They only attempt delivery a couple of times before it gets returned. Plus even tho some say MR SO AND SO to sign, i have been able to go to the post office and sign for letters addressed cert only to him...may be that my post office is lax...probably is.

That being said, i don't have a spam set up on my facebook account, i can get messages from anyone. Most people do and can. Its because a lot of people will ask in message before trying to friend you. Unless she has her fb set to PRIVATE only then it shouldnt be a problem at all. I think FB is the best way to get her a message. People check that more often then thier reg emails now days.

Be kind above all else. Remember that not all of us want or can live with the goriest of details. I didn't want pictures, (even tho she's splattered over the net nude), or positions (even tho i got some of those divulged to me) I do know times, places and such..wish now i didnt as they have ruined many dinners driving by hotels.

Just the facts. Forwarded emails would probably be enough. Include your phone number and politely ask that she not give it to her WS. If she wants more info she can ask for it.

Please do not hesitate to let her know. And please do not get caught writing it by your WS...she will tell OM most likely.