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Beneficence ( member #36129) posted at 6:14 PM on Thursday, September 13th, 2012
Lonelylost -
You are not crazy. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck....
Keep your chin up and stay strong for your kids. He crossed the line.
D-Day: 12/27/11
Me: BS, Stay-at-home mom, 36
Him: SAWS, 38
Married 14 years, discovered 10 years of affairs on D-Day, now separated
Two awesome kidlets, 10, 7
bwok3 ( new member #38423) posted at 9:51 PM on Monday, April 29th, 2013
You are not crazy and it is not ok! I found out that my WH was texting when he was sitting right beside me. Always had an excuse. He even preferred texting with her instead of being intimate with me...., but to this day he still thinks it was nothing for me to get so upset about.
ME: 46 BS
HIM: 49 WH
Married 28 years
Separated
DD 21
DS 27
D-day-1 1986-but still denies it to this day
OW#1 PA - I think it was just a one night stand
D-day 2 Sept 25-11
OW-#2 EA & other online crap
Filing for D soon
ugh! ( member #32829) posted at 9:55 PM on Monday, April 29th, 2013
No, you are most definitely NOT crazy. In looking at our cell phone bill, I saw THOUSANDS of text messages between OW and WH.
[This message edited by ugh! at 3:56 PM, April 29th (Monday)]
You got to look real hard. There's a fiery star hidden out there somewhere - Andy Bell
disgust ( member #34200) posted at 9:59 PM on Monday, April 29th, 2013
You are not crazy. I had the same problem. I was told he was just playing solitaire. He was texting his love while sitting on the couch surrounded by his family, during work, till all hours of the night. Constantly.
Safeguard ( member #38899) posted at 10:21 PM on Monday, April 29th, 2013
What an insensitive clod. I'm so sorry. This is beyond disrespectful. So he wants to be pretend he's "Divorced". Make it real. See how he likes the text from your lawyer.
"since your actions don't match your words, excuse me while I stop believing you."
crazycatlady ( member #12849) posted at 10:25 PM on Monday, April 29th, 2013
You aren't crazy, he is. And he should move out, not you.
Start the 180 ASAP.
Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none.William Shakespeare "All's Well That Ends Well"D-Day: Nov 30, 2006"For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright, who art as black as hell, as dark as night." William Shakespeare
Spelljean ( member #35624) posted at 8:04 PM on Tuesday, April 30th, 2013
WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated
D!senchanted ( member #25150) posted at 7:18 AM on Wednesday, May 1st, 2013
Lonelylost,
You're amazing. And you've taken some major steps in a very short time. Add the sudden changes to the stress of having another dday, and it's no wonder you're all over the place.
Please, make sure you're eating and sleeping. Get some sleep aids if you need to. Make sure you have someone to talk to--maybe some independent counseling? It's time to be selfish. Think about your needs, your health and your peace of mind first. In this instance, being selfish is the best thing you can do for yourself.
Work on you.
BS-31(at the time) (Me)
FWH(Brosef22)-32 (at the time) (EA & PA)
D-Day: 12-11-2008; The TRUTH: 10-28-09; 1 False R. Now in REAL R.
We have two beautiful boys and a precious little girl!
I edit because random letters tend to magical
gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 8:59 AM on Wednesday, May 1st, 2013
Ummm. This thread was resurrected from September, although LL is still *around*.
Since your threads here, LL, want to give us an update on your current situation?
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
sadtoo ( member #2027) posted at 12:57 PM on Wednesday, May 1st, 2013
Ooops! 
[This message edited by sadtoo at 7:00 AM, May 1st (Wednesday)]
sadtoo ( member #2027) posted at 1:00 PM on Wednesday, May 1st, 2013
You are NOT crazy.
Your are amazing. And you are doing everything right.
No matter how much you love him, no matter how much you want to believe him, it's not enough. True reconciliation requires commitment and effort of both parties. Not one doing all the work, making all the sacrifices while the other provides lip action (lies) and stomps all over boundaries.
If you choose to believe him now, you may as well lay down and become the "welcome mat". He's just walking all over you.
You deserve better.
Jada52 ( member #38984) posted at 3:07 PM on Wednesday, May 1st, 2013
No you are not crazy - he is. My husband talks to an "old friend" for hours and thinks I should not be upset.
They would be if it was us texting or talking to a male friend as they do.
Silly Slut, husbands are for wives - get your own man B*tch!
callmecrazy ( member #38765) posted at 3:27 PM on Wednesday, May 1st, 2013
Its disrespectful, its taking time from you, it hurts you. He said he was divorced...HE SUCKS. As for what you ultimately decide to do, that decision is yours alone to make, but YOU ARE RIGHT, he was fully disrespecting the M.
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