SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Well,

Today like a light switch - I got mad. Its almost exactly 2 months since dday and I have been in a fog of my own.

Today, I feel strong, and I'm done. Done feeling sad, lonely, rejected, and used. And the anger is actually uplifting. I have a lot of good things in my life. I own my own business and doing very well. I have 2 great boys who love me and I adore them. I am looking much trimmer than on dday and I have a new addiction: exercise.

Basically, I have a lot to offer and a good heart.

Fuck WW. Fucking bitch. Who in the hell does she think she is? Truth be told, she is 41 with a face full of botox. She is shallow, selfish, heartless, sociopathic, NPD, treacherous,home wrecking, lying little bitch. Oh, almost forgot- c*** whore.

I look forward to cutting her off so the lazy whore has to get a job. She'll regret ever crossing me. It will be my mission in life. FUCK HER!

I've been such a fool.

Yep anger has kicked in for me too. I can barely have a conversation with WH right now without thinking about socking him in the face. We are in R, but I still feel like socking him in the face (I really won't though as I do not advocate violence).

This infidelity shit definitely brings out the best in me

[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 7:34 PM, September 14th (Friday)]

I am glad, kchip. I understand the "fog" you were in, though. It does take time sometimes for it to really, really sink in what they (WS's) have done to us. I know I was in shock/denial for about 5 months before it really sank in.

Your WW isn't remorseful one bit and I was so sad to read your posts and what you were enduring. You don't deserve to be treated that way.

Remember, you are no ones back up plan, kchip. (((kchip)))

ww,

Today, I think I've hit a wall. And I came out of my fog. Don't take pity or feel sorry for me anymore. It insults me.

I'm done with lies.

I'm done with cheating.

I'm done with being your second choice. (3 times)

I'm done with being guilty.

I'm done with - its all my fault.

I'm done being a victim.

I'm done being used by you.

I'm done feeling this way.

I'm done with crying.

I'm done with feeling unimportant.

I'm done with feeling depressed.

I'm done with caring.

I'm done with being alone.

I'm done with lies.

I'm done with lies.

I'm done with lies.

I'm done with lies.

I'm done with lies.

I'm done with lies.

I'm done with lies.

I'm done with lies.

I'm done with lies.

I'm done loving you.

I've been by myself a real real real longtime. There is not one good reason for me to hold back anymore. Not one. The next time someone smiles at me, I'm going to get their phone number and ask them out. Tonight, I could have acted on one such incident. It's kind of funny, it was just what I needed.

Your marriage vows mean nothing to you, then they mean nothing to me.

KCHIP

Loved your message kchip. Print it. Put it on the fridge. All the best to you

I was a lot like you, kchip. I kept waiting...waiting...waiting...surely, she'll snap out of it and come around, right? How could she not?

Despite everyone on here telling me she wasn't remorseful and to run, something kept me WAITING. "This isn't her." "She's confused." "She'll miss me." "She loves me."

Then? ANGER. Pure, raw anger at it's most intense form. And I told her I was done. (Well, I said some harsher things than that )

I deserve better. YOU deserve better! Always remember that, even when the anger subsides.

(((kchip)))

I'm so glad to hear of your new free self! Congratulations!

So happy that that the anger has finally kicked in for you. No one deserves to be treated the way you have been.

It kinda feels good, doesn't it? When you realize that there is another world out there? That whatever it was that you could have acted on tonight, is just one of a dozen??? The world is your oyster!

Awww kchip. I hear you. And I'm proud of you. You only took 2 months! I took years to get where you are!

it's better on the other side if you don't have a remorseful WW. It just is.

Yes. Without question. You deserve better than what is happening now.

(((kchip)))

I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. Especially that cheating lying little bitch.

Done

Is it wrong that your post makes me want to stand up & cheer?

It's completely normal to feel this angry, you absolutely have every right.

Remember that these feelings affect your mind and body too, and you deserve peace and happiness.

I'm really glad to hear that you have your awesome boys and exercise to turn to. The more you can channel your energy into that, the better you'll feel tomorrow.

Hugs.

That is the most incredible rant I have ever heard!!!!

You go boy!!!

Yeah. You go Kchip. And the other side of this doesn't have to include a new person. It can be ever so much better on your own, just you - whole and strong and worthy of ever so much better.

I had a fling early on in my healing and it was okay but now, I'm totally happy on my own and you can be, too.

Isn't it wonderful to be out of limbo? The relief for me was palpable. I actually smiled to myself sitting all alone in the dark on my balcony. I knew I had been set free!

You are on your way my dear. Don't lose that strength and resolve. Remember, you deserve so much better.

180, 180, 180 and NC, NC, NC will help you hold onto your strength.

Thank you SI and all the kind folks here who helped me hold onto that.

One of my friends gave me her mantra: Desired but Not Required!! Just because we loved them doesn't mean we can't go on living without them!

I've been reading your story too. I've wanted to punch her for you. So glad you're coming out of the BS fog. I'm recently out too - and I finally feel in control of my life again.

Three cheers for the Anger Stage!

Proud of you kchip!!

Glad you made it! Isn't it scary and sad that when we're first so hurt and beyond broken over what they did that we think we can't go on? Then when we make it through we think 'why did I put up with that? I deserve so much better! Wow...how close I came to giving up for that?!'.

And the more time goes by the better it gets too! Remember that kchip! Best wishes to you brother

More power to you kchip!

To kchip

Love your post. Of everything Im done with the lies are the most difficult.

I have had 35 years invested and now wants me to accept he was foolish and I am the one NOW He wants to be with forever.

Confessed in MC that he thinks the longest time he has been faithful. Is maybe a year here and there.

I believe he is incapable of fidelity and trying is making me sick".

Just tired of throwing myself against a wall of bullsh@t

House clean, Gladiator Soundtrack, time for running shoes. I'm hittin it!

Thanks to everyone for the support while I was really down. I'm head over to S&D.

Fantastic, KChip! I too had a totally remorseless spouse. And I absolutely agree that you're not bound by your marriage vows once the other person has spat on them. You go for it with the dating, you deserve better and I really think it won't be long before you find it!!!