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OMG HB I am so sorry that you are going through this. It is the most painful experience ever. Please reach out to friends and family members that you trust for support. You need someone IRL to talk with.

The fact that he shut off your cell phone after you contacted the OW is horrendous. He is protecting HER, not you. He is concerned with her welfare, not yours. You are pregnant and he doesn't know where you are and if you are safe. He has to know that you are in anguish and that you are emotionally a wreck. No one can get in touch with you and you cannot get in touch with others. He isn't concerned for you, he is concerned that you might expose whatever lies he has told the OW about your marriage. He is trying to protect his relationship with her. Otherwise, he would be blowing up your phone trying to talk to you. What he did is very telling about his commitment and his concern for you.

Please call a lawyer ASAP. You need to protect yourself and get STD testing also. It is important to make sure you are healthy. Please drink plenty of fluids and try to rest as much as possible.

If you decide to try to R with your WH, it is important that he goes NC with the OW. He will need to leave his job since they work together. My FWH cheated on me with a howorker so I know how you feel. It just about destroyed me and I was obsessive about what they were doing while together at work. He wanted R and swore that the A was over but I couldn't handle them working together. It was a deal breaker for me, I told him either she goes, you go, or I go! No way was I staying in our marriage if he continued to work with her. He did get rid of her to save our M. Please, please reach out IRL to a trusted friend, you will need support.

Thank you everyone for the kind words.

I realize that he is protecting himself and her by shutting off my cell phone. This again proves to me that the affair is not just sexual but that there are feelings for this OW involved. Also how remorseful can he be when he's doing things like shutting my phone off?!

OW is divorced with 3 kids. I am not sure how I would get into contact with any of her family members to tell them what is going on as the only thing I have is her cell phone number. I am contemplating exposing the 2 of them at their place of employment, however I just don't know if it's worth it. I feel like that would be immature and vengeful of me (even though I feel like I have some right to be both at this point). Another part of me just wants to say screw it, they are not worth it just move on.

I am looking for an attorney to speak with to get some guidance and I have to find someone IRL to talk with about this because my head is just swimming.

Hi sweeiie (((BIG HUGS))) Yup...i know you cant stand hearing it but...TOTAL SCUM BAG!!! He treats you like this!! Get rid of him. Its too bad but you will have to face him because of this little wonder coming into the world! That is the positive if your marriage. Well my H had a EA with a coworker. I called her and told her that i would call HR and report what was going on!! Wow how things shut down REALLY QUICKLY!! I know that you dont want your H to lose his job cause he still has to give support. This is your time to go nuts and let him know YOU ARE DONE WITH THE GAME!!

I am so sorry Heartbroken. Unfortunately, I know all to well what you are going through. I am 10 weeks pregnant and found out about my WH's A 9 weeks ago. By the time I found out the A was over. But that doesn't take away from the sting of what this feels like. This is our 3rd, planned pregnancy.

The difference between our situation, so it seems, is that my H seems beyond remorseful and has initiated NC and also had no problem with me talking to OW- he didn't like it, because it was painful to me, but he knew she and I spoke, emailed and texted and didn't do anything to try to stop it. I have chosen to stop now, as I have enough info from her and have no interest in hearing from her ever again. My WH and I are trying to R.

The fact that he shut off your phone is a huge red flag to me. Like he is trying to prevent you from finding out the whole truth. Which also leads me to believe that there is more to it than just a couple of months.

it is good you have contacted a lawyer.

You will find so much support here, whatever path you choose. The most important this is to eat, drink and rest. I know how hard it is. I do. But you have to think about that lil bean in your belly. If you need to talk further, please feel free to message me. I know our situation is unique (and shitty), being pregnant- lucky us. Just remind yourself, that what ever you choose, you are choosing it for you and your baby. Do not feel ashamed, as you did not do anything but be a loving faithful wife. You will be ok.

I really feel for you. I'm also impressed by your courage and clarity.

Today, I think you should reach out for support in real life. Tell a good friend or family member, and let them help you. You needn't be alone in a hotel. Let someone help you find and screen lawyers, and a therapist. Let someone cook for you and take care of you.

I would not turn to your husband right now, either for comfort or for the truth. You would be drawn into quicksand of confusion. I think your instinct to get away and let this irrefutable betrayal register is the right one. I do not think you need worry about it being perceived by future courts as abandonment; on a human and probably legal level you have the right to protect your child as you see fit.

If you do go home to get some things, or get copies of financial paperwork, bring a friend and go when he is not home. Reduce drama and confrontations. Get yourself a prepaid cellphone so you are not pleading with him to turn on your phone. And be with people.

Let us know how you are doing.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It is so hard and I imagine all the extra hormones from a pregnancy only add to it. If you are set on getting out talk to a lawyer. If you have a joint account, set up your own and transfer half of the joint money there. Take it one minute or even one second at a time, it will get better.