SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Need to vent a bit. Just having a shitty day at work, for a couple of reasons. A little background, I work with the MOM. He used to be one of my best friends, and I also hired him here, and he worked for me for many years. We still work in the same IT group, in the same building, and sit less than 100 feet apart.

So, first, I was talking to a colleague about other jobs at another company. She was telling me about some potential positions working for someone we mutually know--but this person has a fucked up marital history, as a former MOW, who left her husband to marry her AP, who left his wife to marry her (after he was cheated on by his first wife). Anyway, let's just say I've no desire to work for this person, given the whole fucked up affair-shit surrounding her.

The colleague I was talking with could read the expression on my face, but tried to ignore, and went on talking about how she feels she's the only one left in corporate america who still believes in monogamy, and marital vows, etc... I almost lose it... end up telling her a brief overview of my wife's A. Fuck, it's like I can't get away from it, ever, anywhere!

Then, off to a meeting... oh, but wait, this is the project meeting that the MOM is also invited too. Weekly. Small meeting room, only 6-8 attendees. I can't go. I dial-in from my office instead. I can hear, once again, the confusion and comments about why the hell I'm not in there. Trying to interact over the phone on nitty gritty project details. They extend the meeting, want to dive into details, drawing on the whiteboard, etc. I cannot follow along... finally mumble some feeble excuse, and hang up.

I'm so pissed that my job performance has suffered so much over the past year for the shit I've gone through.

I'm pissed that he won't leave; I was here first, I hired him, promoted him, yet he is still here.

I'm pissed that I repeatedly am thrust into situations and conversations that come back to the A.

I'm pissed that I'm expected to try and "cope" with having to be in his presence, or actually interact with him.

I'm pissed that I nearly broke down in fucking Panera, while IM'ing with my wife about all of this.

So, I told my wife I'm done with trying to "cope" with being in his presence. I refuse to put any more work into this, or talking about it with my IC. I know "fairness" has little use or applicability in the A-world, but I'm drawing the line on this one, and calling foul. It's unreasonable for anyone to expect me to sit in the same room as that fucker. I will "cope" with every other aspect of this situation. I will choke down every other shit sandwich, but NOT that one. Fuck that.

For any BS out there who has to routinely spend time with the AP... my hats off to you, you are a stronger specimen than me.

Nope, couldn't put up with that. I already want to beat the fucktard to death. Not a chance in hell I could work in the same building. I don't like being in the same state with mOM.

Get outta there! Shit. Fucking economy and job situation kind of sucks right now. Start looking at least.

Hang in there.

Get outta there! Shit. Fucking economy and job situation kind of sucks right now. Start looking at least.

thanks, man... Oh, I've been looking, very hard. I'm not at the point of taking a 40-50% cut in pay yet though... been here 17 years, and my salary shows that I was hired in the IT boom of the mid-90's...

I know, I know... beggars can't be choosers. I either put up with the shit here, or sacrifice mucho bucks, and likely our house or our lifestyle, and go elsewhere...

{{{DWBH}}}

That is beyond impossible IMO.

I know that you should not have to leave your job, some would chime in and suggest you stay strong, do not hand over the power of your life to MOM, remain right where you belong in that job. I say get the hell out of there.

I understand the job situation these days but securing new employment is not impossible. I told my WH he needed to find a new job (his A was with a MOW ho-worker) and he did that within 6 mo. Start looking now, while you still have a job. It can't hurt to put your resume out there.

REALLY, life will be SO much easier when the MOM is non-existent in your world. I know it isn't fair.

[This message edited by RidingHealingRd at 2:59 PM, September 21st (Friday)]

DWBH

Look, I am not telling you what to do, but this is something to think about. So please, take this as just another point of view. Not as another person telling you to suck it up.

But, what if you looked at this as a possible way to inflict some pain on the OM? I mean it. I am sure he wants no part of you and that (real or imaginary) 9mm you might be carrying. (Ever thought of concealed carry. Great thing btw) I bet he would sweat if you would just pull up a chair next to him and give him a stare and say nothing but an evil grin.

Make him squirm.

Look, I don't know if you could do that. But if you could get yourself in that frame of mind, like you had the secret that when he walked out to his car tonight, he would get two rounds to the back of the head and no one would ever find out, then you have some serious power over him. And it will creep him out.

Strength to you brother. Just realize that while your wife and colleagues may not give a rat's ass about your pain, we do. Vent here any time.

And think about a new frame of mind. It is liberating thinking that the OM is still only breathing because you choose not to implement operation "take out the trash" It will make going to that weekly meeting potentially pleasurable.

DWBH}}}

I've been struggling with work too. My focus has been for crap and I don't even have the OM in my office.

I think it'd be great if you could go with reallyscrewedup7's idea. It would be sweet if you could fuck with his mind for a change. Give him wide, fake-ass smiles that make him think you've got a hole dug for him somewhere. Sorry, if if it's completely unrealistic. My thinking is "fuck the pos" and make him squirm until he leaves.

It all sucks shit. Sorry for what you're going through.

Can't we find creative ways to make him miserable and force HIM out?

DWBH, So sorry to hear that! It really really sucks!

The only words of advice...I see you are in R at least you "won" (well she stayed with you) mot Mr. Sucka

Being in corporate America my self for 27 years if skanky slut OW sat in the next aisle from me I'd have all I could do to stop myself from trotting over tearing her hair out and poking out her eyes!

Good luck to you in your job search.

DWBH-

Vent away, brother. It is a tough pill to swallow. Long story short, OM#1, XW & I all worked together. She quit on advice of herIC because place was "toxic" though an A "found" her at current job, so maybe it's the person.

In any event. It SUCKED! Especially when she still worked there for about 4 months after DDay. They were on same shift. I was only there about 2 hours of that.

And yes, seeing him every fucking day made me sick. Especially since he's a too-much-cologne wearing-high-karate-smelling mother fucker. Every time I walked down a halfway he was I wanted to puke. But I needed a job, and wasn't in position to start over, especially not over their shittiness.

Now I'm his boss. It made me smile thinking how much he sweated when that happened. Now, I can deal. I always was professional but told him flat out if we're ever at a bar & I see him getting his ass kicked, I'd order another beer.

You know your situation. If you can switch jobs without sacrificing anything, or the sacrifice is worth your peace of mind, go for it. But hang in there no matter what. If I can do it so can you. Trust me. PM me if you want.

Thanks for the support, everyone, very much appreciated.

I am sure he wants no part of you and that (real or imaginary) 9mm you might be carrying. (Ever thought of concealed carry. Great thing btw)

LOL... First, I'm a .45 guy

and second, I work in the only state in this fine nation that doesn't allow CC. Not sure I could really pull that off anyway... Not much of a poker face. My greatest fear is actually just beating him half to death.