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For anyone here who has renewed or is planning to renew wedding vows or "recommit" to their marriage....would you be willing to share what your new vows were (or what you would like to include in them if you haven't yet renewed)?

Or does anyone have a good source of suggestions for vow renewals after infidelity?

When we got married, we used the standard, traditional wedding vows. When we renew our vows, I want to write our own, and I'm curious how others have addressed the concept of renewing vows that were broken. I don't think I necessarily want our new vows to be full of references to cheating, however I want them to acknowledge our struggle, and that both of us failed in certain ways to fully live up to the vows we made.

I'd love to hear any suggestions, ideas, or examples.

Just a thought somewhere in your renewal

I pledge to love you with tenderness and fidelity.

Addendum...I didn't do a renewal. I married my WSO after a 23 year relationship, 12 days shy of the 1St anniversary. We just celebrates our 1St wedding anniversary. The above was in our intent.

[This message edited by girlsbird at 12:22 PM, October 19th (Friday)]

My H and I are going away to an island in two weeks. He asked me if I would please re-new our vows to each other...but if I wasn't ready yet it was OK. I think I can do this and I'll try to get through it without falling apart. We are going to a beach at sunset and just sharing with each other. We are both writing our own vow. This is what I have so far. I am editing daily though:

(MY H's name), my love…30 years ago I gave you my promise of love. I made a commitment to you. I vowed to you that I would love and honor you, give you the support, the strength, and the respect that you need for the rest of our lives together. God blessed us with three beautiful children that we raised as a united team. We have had endless good times with much laughter and many adventures. There have been times with deep hurt that we never thought would come our way. It has given us the opportunity to make our relationship the focus of all that we do and I embrace the chance to continue to do that with all of my heart.

The sun smiles on us today, and our love is stronger than ever. Our hearts beat together as one. As I did all those years ago, I vow to be your supporter, your confidant, your best friend, your forever lover. I will be by your side in sickness and in health. I will always stay faithful to only you. I will always be there for you, to comfort you, love you, honor and cherish you now and forevermore. You are my baby. I have been blessed for the last 30 years and I am committing myself to you for the rest of our lives. I love you.

What do you think?

My H and I are going away to an island in two weeks. He asked me if I would please re-new our vows to each other...but if I wasn't ready yet it was OK. I think I can do this and I'll try to get through it without falling apart. We are going to a beach at sunset and just sharing with each other. We are both writing our own vow. This is what I have so far. I am editing daily though:

(MY H's name), my love…30 years ago I gave you my promise of love. I made a commitment to you. I vowed to you that I would love and honor you, give you the support, the strength, and the respect that you need for the rest of our lives together. God blessed us with three beautiful children that we raised as a united team. We have had endless good times with much laughter and many adventures. There have been times with deep hurt that we never thought would come our way. It has given us the opportunity to make our relationship the focus of all that we do and I embrace the chance to continue to do that with all of my heart.

The sun smiles on us today, and our love is stronger than ever. Our hearts beat together as one. As I did all those years ago, I vow to be your supporter, your confidant, your best friend, your forever lover. I will be by your side in sickness and in health. I will always stay faithful to only you. I will always be there for you, to comfort you, love you, honor and cherish you now and forevermore. You are my baby. I have been blessed for the last 30 years and I am committing myself to you for the rest of our lives. I love you.

What do you think?

DISCLAIMER: our renewal was based on our shared faith and is therefore heavy on scripture and Christian references. Not trying to get into a debate about what M should or shouldn't be or offend anyone at all. This is just what was important to us.

This was our ceremony:

God invented marriage. He created it because He looked into the future and saw what your needs and your desires would later be for companionship, love and fulfillment. But God also knew that no M would ever be perfect. As you continue in this union, you already know that it will continue to take a lot of love AND work to keep your relationship an ongoing success.

Many couples tend to think M is a 50/50 proposition. Actually, the best relationships are 90/10. If you both will give 90% and take only 10%, you will have a formula likely to bring both of you happiness for a lifetime.

JM and HF have taken these vows before, but today, they are here before God to enter into the covenant of M as believers standing on a foundation of faith in Him.

The best manual ever written on the subject of M is the Bible. Here are a few of the things that God has to say about M. (Some scripture references. I will be glad to share those if anyone is interested)

Love is a verb. It is not a state of being but an ACTION word. It is not just how you feel about each other, but what you do for each other that will keep your relationship growing and alive.

1 Corinthians 13: "Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentuful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. Love never ends."

M is more than a contract. It is a commitment to take your joy deeper than happiness, deeper into the discovery of who you really are. It is a journey to a life of becoming. M is even deeper than commitment. It is a covenant. A covenant that says: I love you. I trust you. I will be here for you when you are hurting. And when I am hurting, I will not leave. M is intended to provide a sanctuary safe enough to risk loving, to risk fully living and risk sharing from the center of yourself. Expect the best from your spouse and you can transform your home into a castle where love thrives.

JM, is it your desire to continue to have HF as your wife, to live together according to the word of God? Will you continue to love and cherish her, giving her assistance in all life's labors? Will you be true to her both in sickness and in health, when things are going well and when there are problems? And will you be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?

HF, is it your desire to continue to have JM as your husband? (and all the same questions)

Her Ring:

JM, may I have the ring that is a lasting symbol of your vows to JF?

This gold ring has been subjected to tremendous heat so that the waste could be removed and the metal purified into a fit token of your commitment of love. JM, let this ring symbolize your willingness to keep on building your character through your love for HF. Place the ring on her hand and repeat after me as you make this vow:

I, JM, renew my commitment to you, HF, as your lawfully wedded husband. I will love you. I will cherish you. I will be true to you no matter what comes; whether we become rich or poor, whether there is sickness or health, until we are parted by death, and with this ring, as a symbol of this pledge, I now renew my vow of love to you, my wife.

His Ring:

HF, may I have the ring that is the lasting symbol of your vows to JM?

This ring is a circle, which symbolizes eternity, for a circle has no ending. HF, let this ring remind you that you desire your relationship with JM to continue for a lifetime. Place the ring on his hand and repeat after me as you make these vows to him.

Same vows for me.

Prayer/Proclamation

Now that you, JM and HF, have openly renewed your wish to remain united in the covenant of M, and as you have made these promises to each other before God and these witnesses, and have given each other rings to reconfirm your vows: By the power and authority given to me as a minister of the Gospel, I do affirm before God that the 2 of you have today expressed your desires to rekindle your love and pasion and renew your vow of M. From this moment on, let all know of your desire to continue for a lifetime as H and W. In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, Amen.

God has joined the tow of you together, not as two, but as one flesh. Therefore, let no one tear you apart. It hurts everyone involved, when that which is one is torn into two parts. Marriage is a lifelong commitment to each other and to God.

Matthew 6:15 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

[This message edited by HFSSC at 12:34 PM, October 19th (Friday)]

I looked briefly and found these examples. I am no where near wanting to renew vows yet but I think it could be great to write and echange new ones someday

ripped from idostill:

Sample Vows – After Stressful Times

I believe in this marriage more strongly than ever.

Together we have taken on the world, with all of its ups and downs, and made it through with our love all the stronger.

(Name), it is with joy born of experience and trust that I commit myself once again to be your (husband/wife)

Sample Vows – After Stressful Times

Husband: Together we have taken on the world, with all of its ups and downs, and made it through with our love all the stronger.

Wife: Today, as we stand here together in front of our family and friends, I renew my promises to you.

Husband: And I to you.

Wife: I promise to share with you my time and my attention and to bring joy, strength, and imagination to our marriage.

Husband: I promise to respect you as your own person and to realize that your interests, desires and needs are no less important than my own.

Wife: I promise to give you the best of myself and to ask of you no more than you can give.

Husband: I promise to keep myself open to you, to let you see through the window of my soul into my innermost fears and feelings, secrets and dreams.

Wife: I promise to grow along with you, to be willing to face changes in order to keep our relationship alive and exciting.

Husband: I promise to love you no matter what the world has in store for us.

Wife: I promise to love you with all that I am and all that I will be.

Husband: I am yours completely and forever.

Wife: And I am yours completely and forever.

Sample Vow – After Making it Through Good and Bad Times

Husband: We promised to love each other for richer and for poorer– and both have come to pass. We’ve known plentiful times and lean times; we have loved through both.

Wife: We promised to love each other in sickness and in health — and both have come to pass. We’ve been strong and we’ve been weak. We’ve each had our turn to take care of the other. We have given and received comfort.

Husband: We promised to love each other for better and for worse and those too have come to pass.

Wife: Our love has made the good times better and the bad times bearable.

Husband: X years ago, we promised to spend the rest of our lives together. We were filled with hopes and dreams. Today I thank you for making those hopes and dreams come true.

Wife: Thank you for the years filled with joy, laughter, hugs, and unconditional, supportive love.

Husband: We promised to love each other, and it has come to pass and continues on.

Wife: Today, I promise these things again and to love you even more.

Husband: Today, I promise these things again and to love you even more.

Sample Vow – After Facing Temptation

On our wedding day, I made a choice. It was the most important choice of my life and I made it only after a great deal of consideration. On that day, I chose you to be my husband/wife. I thought then that such a decision, once made, as final and irrevocable. Now I know that the selection of a life partner is not a one-time decision but an on-going process. Many times in the years since then, I have chosen you again. Faced with changes and alternatives, I have become keenly aware that a marriage lasts only so long as both partners desire each other above all others. As our lives have been affected by the ebb and flow of other lives and events, there have been many times when I could have chosen to go in a different direction. But over and over I chose you. The reason is simple: you above all others arouse in me feelings of tenderness, joy and caring. I choose you not because I feel obligated and not because a legal document says that I am your wife/husband but because, in my heart of hearts, I still want to be by your side more than I want to be anywhere else.

Sample Vow – After an Infidelity

On our wedding day, I pledged many things to you, including my faithfulness. With great sorrow and regret, I acknowledge that I broke that vow but I realize now the enormity of my mistake. Others come and go, but you are the constant in my life whom I will always love. I believe in this marriage more than ever, and I reaffirm my love and commitment to you.

On our wedding day, I pledged to love you in sickness and in health, and for better or worse. The past year has tested those vows, but our enduring love for one another has prevailed. I come here today to make a fresh start, to renew our vows of love, honor, and fidelity, and to reaffirm my love for you.

X years ago, I promised to love you for as long as we both should live. I never imagined that I would face losing you so soon, or the depths of despair I would feel at that prospect. Today, we have made it through the darkness, and I am so honored that I get to continue life’s journey by your side. Once again, I promise to love you, honor you and keep you, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live.

This is slightly off point, but I'll share the thought.

The words spoken at the ceremony are just words. Absolutely, pick something meaningful. But, the actions towards each other make the marriage, not the vows.

best luck

[This message edited by WarpSpeed at 1:43 PM, October 19th (Friday)]

We are almost thru year 2, and have a recommittment ceremony planned. We worked with someone on our vows for this:

H and W you have been married for x years now. This morning as the sun rises and you re-commit yourselves to each other and your marriage, you can look forward with confidence to a new era in your life. You do so in the presence of your 4 children.

Today is a day when you reassure each other. When you are expressing to each other deep loyalty and loving trust as the basis of your marriage relationship.

Both of you believe in marriage - in the fullness of the husband and wife relationship and you know that a deep bond unites you both. It must do so because of what you have been through together - all the stresses and tensions of the past have not weakened your love, but instead have only made you more determined to stick by each other. This relationship is and must be very deep. Today’s re-commitment should encourage you both to be more dedicated to each other so that you can look forward to a settled and enjoyable future.

Vows

H, please repeat after me:

x years ago, I, H took you, W, to be my lawful wife, to have and to hold, from that day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. This day I re-affirm that vow.

W, please repeat after me:

x years ago, I,W , took you, H to be my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from that day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. This day I re-affirm that vow.

H and W, just as two very different threads woven in opposite directions can form a beautiful tapestry, so have your two lives merged together to form a very beautiful marriage. To make your marriage work will take love. Love should be the core of your marriage; love is the reason you are here. But it also will take trust - to know in your hearts you want the best for each other. It will take dedication - to stay open to one another; to learn and to grow together even when this is not always so easy to do. It will take faith - to always be willing to go forward to tomorrow, never really knowing what tomorrow will bring. And it will take commitment - to hold true to the journey you both now pledge to share together.

(We have ‘temporary rings’ we have worn since we started down the R road…cheap replicas that we are replacing with new bands, we sold the old ones and negative energy associated with them, for a new start) Now let us cast these old rings into the ocean and with it the past so that you may begin fresh, with a new start to your married life, filled with positive energy.

Ring Vows

H, please repeat after me:

W, with this ring, I give you the promise that from this day forward you shall never walk alone. My heart will be your shelter, my arms will be your home. With this ring I give you my trust in you, my promise to honor and be faithful to you. To share my love and my life with you ever and always .

W, please repeat after me:

H, with this ring, I give you the promise that from this day forward you shall never walk alone. My heart will be your shelter, my arms will be your home. With this ring I give you my trust in you, my promise to honor and be faithful to you. To share my love and my life with you ever and always

W and H, in so much as the two of you have agreed to live together in matrimony, have promised your love for each other by these vows, And now having heard you make these pledges of your affection, I now declare you to be Husband and Wife again.