Thanks everyone still for your kind words, thoughts and contributions. I still havnt seen my little girl but her mother has arranged a mediation meeting this coming friday. I feel that this meeting may be to talk about finance rather than access. I cannot believe that a woman can be so cruel and heartless to hold a little girl away from the father she thinks she has. I had to remain as cool as I can and be extremely patient. I feared for Fridays meeting but my solicitor, who would represent me for free if I took him up on his off has sent me this email today, which has made me feel a lot better and given me hope. I dont use him to get me to court because the pain is too much and my wife will give me years of misery so i'm playing the waiting game instead.. "David
Thank you for your email. I am sorry that this continues to be so bothersome and difficult for you.
I imagine that Stone King have sent you draft divorce papers for approval before they are issued by the Court. You should check that on the last page of the Petition no claim is made for you to pay the costs of the divorce. If not, and if you can live with the allegations of unreasonable behaviour, then you may as well simply invite Stone King to issue the proceedings. There is no detriment to you in being divorced by your wife rather than you divorcing your wife.
The Court will then send you copies of the issued papers together with an Acknowledgement of Service form to complete. You will have the chance to say in that that you are not defending the proceedings but do not accept the truth of the allegations made against you.
In the same form you will be able to comment on the (then) position about Marnie. You will have been to Mediation and there may be some agreement in place that enables you to see her by then. If not, the position is still likely to have moved on from now. I would happily help you with that form at that stage.
I do not imagine that a Mediator will have much truck with any suggestion by your wife that any ongoing contact with Marnie should have financial strings attached. Clearly the two things are quite separate from one another.
The Court does have powers to Order the payment of maintenance by a "non parent" spouse for the benefit of a child of the family. This is pretty uncommon however and will require a full application to the Court by your wife. As I understand your financial position you are simply not in a position to pay anyway.
Your wife will be extremely unlikely to get legal aid to pursue this.
The CSA (child support agency)cannot make you pay for a child that is not yours.
I can go into this at much greater length if need be but for now I see no reason not to engage in Mediation to see if an agreement about seeing Marnie can be agreed.
Good luck with it all and do get in touch again if I can help further.
Kind regards
Gwyn" The solicitor guy is truly a wonderful kind human being
