This Topic is Archived
Knotagain ( new member #37878) posted at 4:42 AM on Sunday, December 30th, 2012
I'm so glad this question finally got asked. We have been separated for 6 months and total NC. No form of apology/remorse/guilt from WH. Even though there is no chance for R, an apology would make healing and closure quicker. Even if it is fake.
IMHO, i don't care to get an apology for the A, but i sure would like one for the deplorable, despicable behaviors brought on as a result of the A. An enemy doesn't deserve to be treated that way, let alone ur spouse.
I would love to have WSs incite to this question. What would be the proper way to present this question to them on SI?
If the past calls...hang up...it has nothing new to say.
Me: BW 41
Him: WH 42
Together: 21 yrs (cohabitated: 7, married: 14)
DD1,2,3,4: June 18, 2009
DD5: February 10, 2012
DD6,7: December 28, 2012
Separated: June 29, 2012
Divorce: In Process
absolut ( member #37933) posted at 10:47 AM on Sunday, December 30th, 2012
pfffttt...
like 2 seconds each time
"Look I'm sorry Ok!"
Like a 6 year old, which is an insult to all the sweet little 6 year old's out there!
Charwheeze ( member #37689) posted at 4:19 PM on Sunday, December 30th, 2012
Right after I asked her if she was cheating and she spilled her guts. She even cried at my feet. She was sorry for hurting me and sorry for how she handled her unhappiness.
She wasn't sorry enough to stop the A. She has shown no action to back up her sorries.
BH - me, 31
ex-WW - her, 31
Dday: 10-14-12
Divorced July 2013
Knotagain ( new member #37878) posted at 7:46 PM on Sunday, December 30th, 2012
Charwheeze...same story here except the spilling guts part. apologized 4 the guilt of their own conscience only and ur WS probably in "fog." i have no doubt that her R w/OM will be dissolved quickly. I can't see a 20+yo and 30+yo having much in common or being on the same page at all. Until then, move forward, be strong, don't despair, and do u (even if u have to fake it until it becomes reality).
If the past calls...hang up...it has nothing new to say.
Me: BW 41
Him: WH 42
Together: 21 yrs (cohabitated: 7, married: 14)
DD1,2,3,4: June 18, 2009
DD5: February 10, 2012
DD6,7: December 28, 2012
Separated: June 29, 2012
Divorce: In Process
fallingquickly ( member #36599) posted at 8:09 PM on Sunday, December 30th, 2012
I'm sorry was immediate. However, it didn't stop him from continuing to sext and hookup 4 months later.
Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)
I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken
There came a point when it was too painful to love him, so I stopped.
nightswimming ( member #27565) posted at 8:25 PM on Sunday, December 30th, 2012
Alot of these cheaters - 1, 2, and 3 years later are STILL trying to justify what they did and have never said "I'm sorry."
Ditto. I got a lame-ass sorry when he wanted to work on R, but only later did I realize they'd gone underground, so that apology meant nothing.
He's in AA and supposedly working his program. But if he was, I would have gotten an amends by now and so would my children. Hasn't happened, and I'm not holding my breath. If I do get one, at least I will know he at least admits to himself that he is messed up, he fucked up, and he is working on himself.
Maybe I am jaded, but early apologies don't really mean anything unless they are sustained by good, honest, open R.
Me: BW-44
XWH-doesn't matter
3 DS 19,16,9
Dday 11/11/09
D 3/1/11
Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
dameia ( member #36072) posted at 4:29 PM on Monday, December 31st, 2012
My WH said sorry right away but it means nothing to me. So what if he is sorry, if he was really sorry maybe he wouldn't have fucked so many whores he can't even give me an accurate number. If he was sorry he wouldn't have put me and my at-the-=time unborn son in danger of HIV and all sorts of other STD's by not using a condom when fucking whores in THAILAND!!!! One of the highest rates of HIV around and he doesn't use a condom.
If he was really sorry I would have a timeline by now. Not just excuses as to why he can't do one. If he was really sorry he would be making every effort to do what I asked him to do....but all I get is excuses. So all the sorry's mean exactly shit to me.
Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12
Trust is like paper. Once it's crumpled it can never be perfect again.
sootired ( member #22952) posted at 4:52 PM on Monday, December 31st, 2012
sadly, never really did. 3+ years gone. too busy feeling sorry for herself and her "failed relationship" (not ours the A)early on. Has amnesia now 
Me 55 Divorced
Her 43 WW-24 month EA with some PA followed by ONS with another
In R since 4/09 (I think)
6/10 False R
2016 EA, probably PA
Divorced 2/2020
This Topic is Archived
