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Hi there, I'm so sorry to hear your BH is going through this what someone else termed as "hellonearth"..>I guess that is why I had chosen my screen name way back when 6+ yrs ago. I too suffer from PTSD and as another poster mentioned, mine was triggered by my FWH's infidelity, then triggered back into alcoholic father FOO issues and other past traumas and then my body finally "broke" 3 yrs ago about a year after I watched my 51 yr old sister die of cancer. Too.much.trauma. I'm not sure if you BH has other past traumas that your A may have triggered, what I can tell you is that I didn't really know at the time of my FWH's A, that all my older stuff was being triggered, so it may be something to look into....problem is tho...that we BS's can only deal with so much crap on our plate at once, so this is a long processs. I've been working with a fabulous psychologist doing EFT for about 2.5 yrs now. My physical symptoms have improved signficantly...even with current triggers I experience. I have learned how to control and have my mind and body work to self-soothe...that's a big part of PTSD I think. I can't stress enough how important it is for your BH to be able to talk about things with someone..is he still talking to you about the affair and the trauma or other traumas? Let him talk and talk and talk and talk...I think this has been the best for myself, especially when my feelings are validated. Something about repeating the traumas over and over again helps to process memories and get them out of the wrong part of the brain (the part that is on constant fight/flight alert) and put them to the longer term memory bank. I have much better trigger control now, whether consciously or subconscisouly (the latter meaning the feeling all the physical symptoms without even actually realizing why you're feeling them...yet) I would also suggest you look into mindfulness. Best of luck to you guys. He's going to need you to get through this...

I too was diagnosed with PTSD after d-day and also discovered a lot of the reason went back to FOO issues.

IC and exercise have been the only things that have helped me. Meds just seemed to mask it.

Just a suggestion for what it's worth. I had to do Aqua therapy after my hip surgery last year and my IC suggested I try it again to help the PTSD. It worked to some degree for me. There is something about the exercise combined with the calmness of the warm water that helped.

BTW, I found these self help books about EMDR at my local library in case you're interested.

Do-it-yourself eye movement technique for emotional healing / Fred Friedberg

Emotional healing at warp speed : the power of EMDR / David Grand

EMDR : the breakthrough therapy for overcoming anxiety, stress, and trauma / Francine Shapiro

[This message edited by PanicAttack53 at 3:11 AM, January 8th (Tuesday)]

Thank you to everyone that has taken the time to respond and offer suggestions! I really, really appreciate it.

PTSD is hell-on-earth. I can see that without suffering from it myself. Watching someone you love suffer beyond anything I have ever seen is soul wrenching. It is unexplainable. We hear the term 'triggers' used so often here on SI, but when you actually see someone physically react as if they have been shot - shot by you - and you have no way to stop the bleeding, it makes you feel so helpless. I want to help in anyway that I can, so I thank all of you that have offered support with your own stories and suggestions.

I will look into the books as well as the suggested exercises/techniques that are available online. Hopefully, out of all the advise offered, something will help.

I am posting because he is unable to seek professional help (work related), it is not because we can't afford it. The guilt I carry for causing this is huge. I can not let go of my guilt while watching him suffer. I just can't.

His symptoms sound pretty awful.

Can you provide more info on why his work situation prevents him from seeking professional help?

If it's due to a work schedule - there are some counseling resources online where he might be able to talk to someone at odd hours or away from home. There are also counselors who will do sessions via phone or skype - I found some when we were first looking for counseling, because my H is often overseas and his schedule is unpredictable.

If it's due to some sort of repercussion at work itself - he can go to counseling and not put it through health insurance, etc. Totally under the radar.

At this point I'd be more concerned about the repercussions of having to live like that, than his job. If he ends up having a breakdown at work or his performance suffers due to exhaustion, etc., what's that going to do to his job situation and mental health?