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Reconciliation :
ptsd anyone else???

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Louise2011 ( member #33383) posted at 5:16 AM on Thursday, January 24th, 2013

Sounds like the DSM has made a lot of changes to their criteria in the last 13 years...

posts: 195   ·   registered: Sep. 16th, 2011   ·   location: British Columbia
id 6189045
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SweetheartVixen ( member #4956) posted at 5:40 AM on Thursday, January 24th, 2013

I was diagnoses by a well renowned physchiatrist many yrs ago after a gun incident. The symptoms came back big time after a "brownie" incident where I passed out for several hours and was terrified and feared for my life.

I also had the same syymptoms after his LTA. So I believe it is possible tho I am not a Dr. and I had a past histoty.

That being said I am so sorry for the severe pain/trauma you are experiencing no matter what it is called. It is painful and excruciating and some do better than others.

I am so so sorry that you are not coping well. Come here and share, vent talk and we will be here for you.

BIG hugs.

BS/60s WS/60s Divorcing and not soon enough~!
Its nice to be important, but its more important to be nice...

DD 6-14

posts: 3191   ·   registered: Jul. 17th, 2004   ·   location: somewhere over the rainbow
id 6189060
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Kelany ( member #34755) posted at 2:36 PM on Thursday, January 24th, 2013

I could only get through the first page of this thread. Escape Artist your posts in this thread has absolutely appalled me.

I fully believe in the trauma model approach for those who need it after infidelity. I happen to be one that does.

But first, let me give this history.

My husband was diagnosed last year by a psychologist with PTSD. There are classifications/degrees/levels so to speak. Mild, moderate, severe based on symptoms. My husband is moderate.

Why? He was in the pentagon on 9/11 when the plane hit. Then 4 years ago he was in a traumatic car accident where he flipped his car.

These absolutely impacted him.

Now, you say:

True PTSD usually needs to be medicated and they usually are required to be treated in a hospital, especially at onset, and recovery requires on average at least 5 yrs of intense therapy.

Those with PTSD cannot work, remember the traumatic events, or function in the family unit for years, sometimes forever.

This is simply NOT true. People *CAN* have PTSD and not be hospitalized, be able to work, etc. It depends on the level of severity of their PTSD.

First??? My husband absolutely remembers both 9/11 (And I dare you to tell anyone who's suffered from post 9/11 PTSD or someone returning from war that suffers from PTSD due to these events that remember them that they don't have PTSD) and his accident.

My husband was never admitted into the hospital. My husband was able to work. However, it was a diminished capacity, but he was able to function.

He is on medication. He is in therapy. He did not begin this until 10 years after 9/11, 3 years after his accident, because he was afraid. It wasn't until it got to the point that he was functioning less was able to get him assessed. And guess what? Our THERAPIST was the one who spotted it!!!!

Now, to myself...

I've suffered sexual abuse as a child. I buried it for years, then about 5 years ago I began to suffer from it, but wasn't hospitalized. Was doing therapy on and off, went on meds short term.

After DDay#1 I started showing some signs of trauma coming back. Then after DDay#3 it went full blown. I began having severe anxiety attacks again. Horrible ones. I had to go on meds immediately. 2 antidepressants, klonopin, and I was in therapy. I was not functioning at all.

The disclosure was so traumatic for me. I'm just NOW beginning to function normally again.

As the wife of a SA, I've done some extesive reading. The best approach is the trauma model approach in some cases. I'm one of them. Using this trauma model approach is what FINALLY helped me to start to function again. Yes, I realize that it stemmed initially from my childhood abuse, but when my husband had his affairs, his SA came to light, his multiple AP's, you can bet that I was beyond traumatized. You could ask my doctor and my therapist.

I do suggest that you re-educate yourself on the DSM as it is always elvolving and changing. And I'm pretty sure the 19 page psych report I have on my husband would disagree with you about his PTSD diagnosis even though he's never been hospitalized, he has always been able to work, and he can remember the trauma events he's suffered from.

[This message edited by SamanthaBaker at 8:42 AM, January 24th (Thursday)]

BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking

posts: 2031   ·   registered: Feb. 7th, 2012
id 6189312
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Kelany ( member #34755) posted at 2:48 PM on Thursday, January 24th, 2013

• Exposure to a Trauma – The person has been exposed to a trauma, in which he or she has experienced or witnessed an event involving the threat of death, serious injury, or a threat to the physical well-being of oneself or others. Note that only physical threats count in the definition of a trauma in PTSD. Situations that represent a psychological threat (e.g., a divorce, being criticized by a loved one, being teased) are not considered traumas in the definition of PTSD, even though they may lead to difficulties for the individual.

Gee, funny, my husband's infidelity was SO much more that being criticized or teased.

First, my life was threatened. STD's were a very real possiblity. My entire existance was threatened.

Second the emotional and verbal abuse that I was subjected to. He lashed out severely at me. Explosive anger. Especially when he really began to devolve after the first DDay, but before the second. I also feared for HIS life. Suicide or the possibility that he'd hurt himself unintentionally too.

Again, appalled.

[This message edited by SamanthaBaker at 8:49 AM, January 24th (Thursday)]

BS - Me
SA/FWH Him
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking

posts: 2031   ·   registered: Feb. 7th, 2012
id 6189320
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DixieD ( member #33457) posted at 3:01 PM on Thursday, January 24th, 2013

If anyone has the following symptoms of PTSD -- SEEK HELP.

There are experienced clinicians who will recognize the symptoms and the affects on functioning and provide proper care and treatment.

http://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/pages/dsm-iv-tr-ptsd.asp

In 2000, the American Psychiatric Association revised the PTSD diagnostic criteria in the fourth edition of its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR)(1). The diagnostic criteria (A-F) are specified below.

Diagnostic criteria for PTSD include a history of exposure to a traumatic event meeting two criteria and symptoms from each of three symptom clusters: intrusive recollections, avoidant/numbing symptoms, and hyper-arousal symptoms. A fifth criterion concerns duration of symptoms and a sixth assesses functioning.

Criterion A: stressor

The person has been exposed to a traumatic event in which both of the following have been present:

1. The person has experienced, witnessed, or been confronted with an event or events that involve actual or threatened death or serious injury, or a threat to the physical integrity of oneself or others.

2. The person's response involved intense fear,helplessness, or horror. Note: in children, it may be expressed instead by disorganized or agitated behavior.

Criterion B: intrusive recollection

The traumatic event is persistently re-experienced in at least one of the following ways:

1. Recurrent and intrusive distressing recollections of the event, including images, thoughts, or perceptions. Note: in young children, repetitive play may occur in which themes or aspects of the trauma are expressed.

2. Recurrent distressing dreams of the event. Note: in children, there may be frightening dreams without recognizable content

3. Acting or feeling as if the traumatic event were recurring (includes a sense of reliving the experience, illusions, hallucinations, and dissociative flashback episodes,including those that occur upon awakening or when intoxicated). Note: in children, trauma-specific reenactment may occur.

4. Intense psychological distress at exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event.

5. Physiologic reactivity upon exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event

Criterion C: avoidant/numbing

Persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma and numbing of general responsiveness (not present before the trauma), as indicated by at least three of the following:

1. Efforts to avoid thoughts, feelings, or conversations associated with the trauma

2. Efforts to avoid activities, places, or people that arouse recollections of the trauma

3. Inability to recall an important aspect of the trauma

4. Markedly diminished interest or participation in significant activities

5. Feeling of detachment or estrangement from others

6. Restricted range of affect (e.g., unable to have loving feelings)

7. Sense of foreshortened future (e.g., does not expect to have a career, marriage, children, or a normal life span)

Criterion D: hyper-arousal

Persistent symptoms of increasing arousal (not present before the trauma), indicated by at least two of the following:

1. Difficulty falling or staying asleep

2. Irritability or outbursts of anger

3. Difficulty concentrating

4. Hyper-vigilance

5. Exaggerated startle response

Criterion E: duration

Duration of the disturbance (symptoms in B, C, and D) is more than one month.

Criterion F: functional significance

The disturbance causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

Specify if:

Acute: if duration of symptoms is less than three months

Chronic: if duration of symptoms is three months or more

Specify if:

With or Without delay onset: Onset of symptoms at least six months after the stressor

References

1. American Psychiatric Association. (2000). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (Revised 4th ed.). Washington, DC: Author.

Growing forward

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Escape artist ( member #34804) posted at 11:01 PM on Thursday, January 24th, 2013

I did say I was not going to post again but decided that I need to break my ties with this site, and will not be returning after this post.

My concern initially was that people on here may sometimes get hung up on having an illness, when it may not always be the case.

I was not talking in reference to anyone that was in the towers when the plane hit!!!

I was speaking in reference to someone who may have been incorrectly informed that they now have PTSD.

Why can I not try to help? The fact that so many others have come out in defence of their diagnosis' and other family members proves my point exactly. People can and do get hung up on diagnosis, and sometimes these can be incorrect.

Not always, but certainly not never.

I would not begin to say that witnessing or being involved in terrorism attacks is anything like what I or others went through as a BS.

But it appears that I am not allowed to try to point this out.

So whatever....if you get told by your MC that you now have PTSD...go right ahead believe!!

Do not get a second opinion at all. The MC must be right. And if in doubt by all means look on the net and apply the symptoms to yourself...that's a good way to validate what a counsellor tells you.

If you have been "diagnosed"

satisfied, I wish you well.

I have been told I appall people?

That takes the cake. What is appalling is people encouraging others to believe they are sick when they possibly may not be.

I am qualified to hold my own opinion, and do not like the way my message has been taken.

Funny how things can get twisted isn't it?

To all those who understood what I was trying to say, thank you.

To Shortee, Again, I apologise. I was only trying to give her hope that she may need a second opinion.

I thought this site was open to all opinions but obviously, not one that tries to encourage resilience.

I gave you enough rope to hang yourself.
Me BS 48
Him WS 54
False DDay 06/02/12
3 simultaneous EA's
Multiple DDays thru till 16th April 2012
Disclosed PA 16th April 2012
Reality- alot sicker than I realized .......

posts: 202   ·   registered: Feb. 13th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6190150
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MegM ( member #34941) posted at 1:07 AM on Friday, January 25th, 2013

Dear Shortee126

I am so sorry that you are swept away with the depth of pain and injury you have suffered.

I too had many months of similar experiences and reactions. I have heard this described in these ways many times here.

I have noticed this is especially the case if someone has had a traumatic experience in there past. In my case it was being exposed to my parents infidelity at a young age and also childhood sexual abuse.

I experienced flashbacks, nightmares, sweats, heart palpatations, poor memory, inability to work, obsessing about particular events or details of the affair or our interactions during the affair, raging, poor concentration, cognitive impairment.

My sight and earing were also effected for months. I had ringing in my ears for nearly 10 months and my vision was blurred with poor peripheral vision for over a year (from the time I suspected).

My clincial psycologist and doctor both seperately diagsnosed post traumatic stress.

Having a name to my experince empowered me to find effective treatment and therapy. I did this without medication. I now have fewer and more mild episodes of the symptoms. I still feel some congnitive impairment and reduced concentration nearly every day but the other physcial symptoms are greatly reduced.

Whatever title or name these experiences are ... the clustering of symptoms is to common and powerful to ignore. The treatment I worked on is a treatment used for trauma survivors and I have found enourmous relief and comfort as a result.

My therapist prescribed and guided me in Traumatic Release Excercises (TRE) and Somatic therapy combined with traditional cognitive based therapy.

We are still using these methods. My H also is using TRE combined with CBT.

some people recommended other techniques and found enormous success with them too.

Best wishes Shortee. I hope your pain diminishes soon, and that you begin to find some comfort.

Meg

BS / fWS me 41 (@ DDay)
fWS / BS him 39-BlindFreddy (@DDay)
My DD's 13 Jan 2012 / 29 Jan / 27 Feb (Trickle truth for 5 wks)
His DDay Dec 2003 (details 06/12)
Married
3 ch(6 - 16 at discovery)
remembering "Sunshine on my shoulders"

posts: 674   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6190339
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LonelyHusband ( member #34145) posted at 1:33 AM on Friday, January 25th, 2013

I've had PTSD twice in my life.

the first time it was a result of sitting in a hole with bleeding ears whilst the world exploded around me, thinking "wow, this is it, well that life went by quick".

the second was catching my wife kissing my friend.

I can assure you that the latter was far more traumatic than the former. At least the first time it wasn't people who were supposed to be on my side who were actually trying to hurt me. The second time all it took was for my IC to get me to list the symptoms of PTSD for me to suddenly go "aahhhhhhh crap"

[This message edited by LonelyHusband at 7:34 PM, January 24th (Thursday)]

Reconciling.
“A wizard is never late. Nor is he ever early. He arrives precisely when he means to".
Apparently not an appropriate reason for coming home drunk at 2AM.

posts: 1322   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2011   ·   location: UK
id 6190375
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PanicAttack53 ( member #34195) posted at 2:12 AM on Friday, January 25th, 2013

(((Shortee126)))

First and foremost forget what others may say about what you've been told. You know how you feel and what may best help you thought it. Everything else regarding your diagnosis, seeking a second opinion etc.. is just semantics. ALL that really matters is that you get the help and support you need to heal and get well....THE END!!!

(((Shortee126)))

Me-BH Her-XWW | B/ 59 on D-day (11/17/11) | D final on 10/1/13 I'm Lovin' life again!
Rest of the story really doesn't matter any more.
“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have.” ― Eckhart Tolle

posts: 926   ·   registered: Dec. 13th, 2011   ·   location: Midwest
id 6190429
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 shortee126 (original poster member #35803) posted at 11:57 AM on Friday, January 25th, 2013

Ok so I now feel bad for the person that feels that her professional opinion is not welcome on this forum. My intention of writing my original post was not a debate. I just wanted to know that I was not the only one that had been informed that they are suffering from PTSD.

To Escape artist:I do appreciate that you are trying to demonstrate to us that we could be miss diagnosed. I for one do not wish to be told that there is something seriously wrong with me due to the decisions of another person. I had not control or say over what my husband chose to do. I struggle with the fact that I suffer from severe anxiety and depression. My mother was diagnosed with chronic depression when I was 15-16 and I missed a lot of school in order to stay home to make sure she did not kill herself when no one was home. I saw what it was like first hand for her and do not want to be that person. I have seen moments in myself that have mimic her behavior and I struggle with this.

I am a drug and alcohol therapist and see people on a daily basis that have true mental health issues. It is terrible to see what these individuals have gone through in their lives that they need to numb the pain.

I guess my point is diagnosed or not I am having very real symptoms that mirror those of PTSD be it that I felt physically threatened or not I could be diagnosed according to the DSM-IV with meeting certain criteria. Do I want to be labeled with one more this as a result of my husbands affair hell no. It is bad enough that I am living with the fact that at some point on some level I was not enough for him in his head. He felt the need to seek the comfort of another woman in order to make him feel worth something. That sucks.

At least when our MC explained to me that the symptoms that I am experiencing is normal for the trauma that I have endured makes me feel better knowing that I am not crazy. I know in time that this will pass or at least I have hope that it does.

We are all here for the same reason! Someone in our lives made the decision to be selfish and make choices that will affect us for the rest of our lives one way or another. I hate this because I have and had no control over the fact that this has forever changed me as a person. Good or bad I have changed and I had no choice in the matter.

I wish you all the best with your personal recovery.

BS- 37
WS-37
married 13 years together 19
DD- 5/27/12
He walked out on me and the girls 5/26/12
Recovery started 9/15/12

Hoping for Serenity, Courage, and Wisdom!!!!

posts: 130   ·   registered: Jun. 10th, 2012   ·   location: New York
id 6190791
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Littleleaf ( member #37752) posted at 4:04 PM on Friday, January 25th, 2013

"Well my life was certainly under threat, it was a minute to minute battle in the first few weeks to keep myself from committing suicide. I was so broken that I could not grasp how I could ever be of use or feel anything other than anguish."

I think that BS all feel traumatized.

If we had experienced trauma previously it throws our plates off the table all over again.

My WH exhibits all symptoms listed with the previous postings for post traumatic stress - he came home to the results of my suicide attempt.

If it helps to give your symptoms a name - a handle for you to grasp it - who cares about someone's "professional opinion"

Do what you need to do to get whole again.

Take care of yourself!

posts: 91   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2012
id 6191087
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Diva0702 ( member #32309) posted at 4:34 PM on Friday, January 25th, 2013

I am certain that everyone here understands your very real and powerful physical and emotional state Shortee. As a clinician, educator and therapist I can only say that what really matters is the health and well being of each individual on the merit of their particular presenting circumstances. SI is a place of safety for all of us who have, are and will be going through the SAME THING, not a centre for psychiatric or psychological diagnosis and treatment. I send you heartfelt empathy and kindest wishes for your progress and recovery, whichever route you take.

Me: BW 53
Him: FWH 47
4 wonderful grown children
2 beautiful grandchildren
Married 20 years
Together 23 years
Dday March 10 2010. 4 yr A.
Me: RGN(ret), N.Dip.,BA(Psych),MA (Psych),BA Music.
OW: 55 year old taxi driver

posts: 333   ·   registered: May. 30th, 2011   ·   location: UK
id 6191130
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DixieD ( member #33457) posted at 6:35 PM on Friday, January 25th, 2013

The updated 5th edition of the DSM is due in May 2013. Maybe the APA has recognized changes in patient presentations, histories and research in the last 13 years and will broaden the (IMO, narrow) definition of a stressor event.

Personally, I want to thank the BS on this site who mentioned EMDR therapy for PTSD symptoms. It helped, and I'm further along in healing because of it.

Take care, Shortee.

Growing forward

posts: 1767   ·   registered: Sep. 27th, 2011
id 6191327
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HOLDINGONTOHOPE ( member #29528) posted at 3:29 AM on Saturday, January 26th, 2013

I second Dixie. EMDR for for traumatic experiences and anxiety.

It totally changed my life. I would highly recommend anyone with PTST or feel traumatized to pursue this treatment.

Me BS 44
Partner WS 45
DDay Nov. 2008, Together 17 years

posts: 368   ·   registered: Sep. 5th, 2010
id 6191966
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