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No, I was never jealous of her. What she had with him was a fantasy full of lies. She saw a man he never wanted to be. I was jealous that he got a break from reality while I did everything. Then I realized that his break cost him greatly. He has to live with what he has done and is still unable to forgive himself.

Thanks to everyone for replying.

I understand that I am a better person than AP - that is glaringly obvious.

I just feel that I have missed out sharing with WW...unbridled passion, excitement and a connection she should have done/had with me. It may not be right but that's how I feel...I just don't know how to move past it and related feelings of being inadequate or second best..

Ya sign me up for jealous she as he told me likes sports ,hunting will actually sit and watch a whole game she loves the outdoors loves going to sporting events she was perfect for him of course now he says different but my take is in the fog what he said was true all of it he just had the guts to say it since he was leaving me for her of course fogs all gone and know iam the bomb but I don't believe it

Lonelyhusband...my scenario does not include the dinosaur...so I guess I'm safe! Phew!

Secondly, whatashame90, thank you for your response. Yours will be the 2nd post I've bookmarked on SI to read daily to give me fortitude against the darkness I feel. In fact, I'll hold onto your words like a buoy in this ugly turmoil I tread water in!!!! <3

Im not really jealous of her personally. I don't want to be her. I am jealous of the time he made for her when I was so lonely for any scrap he would toss to me. I'm not now. They can both eff off.

I was jealous. I was jealous WS knew to buy her flowers to make her happy while i sit at home taking care of the kids and hoping he will send me flowers (Never!). I was jealous what I achieved with WS in 17 years, they did it in 3 months. I was jealous of their r/s, that it meant more to WS than what we had for so many years.... Many such feelings all the time. :(

Now I dont think I'm jealous any more but just pissed and hate it that these are things they shared. It makes me feel permanently that she meant more to WS than I ever did or ever will.

I’m jealous of OM.

I’m not jealous of anything OM and WW had or did. What they had was disgusting. Everything they did was repulsive. I don’t want anything to do with that, but if I look at the “they always affair down” quote that is spouted around her all the time, then his W is up (better?) than mine. I’m jealous of that.

Do I think his W is better than mine? Not if she fixes her shit, but even then I’m jealous that OM never had to experience the pain of his W cheating on him to get that (I know he has his own pain, but I can’t relate to that).

I am not jealous of her as a person in anyway, shape, form, or fashion. She is a lowlife, desperate woman, looking for someone to love. All she got was lies from WH. He never loved her. He had dated her before he met me and he chose me to marry, not her. I will say I am envious of the time they spent together in fantasy land and that she knew everything about me and I didn't even know she existed for the 2yrs prior to DDay#1. But how can anyone be jealous of someone like her. She has no morals, shitty job, looks her age, no self-respect, no dignity, lives in a rental house, drives a clunker SUV, been married several times, and looking for her KISA to save her from her shitty life. Nope, I am not jealous one bit, she is the one that is jealous of me.

Not so much, though I wouldn't mind a ten inch dick. Not enough to go under the knife but, so it goes.

Yes, I still am. She has a higher education, had oral sex in public with my husband, they sent dirty pictures/sexted with each other. All things I wanted to do with him, but I was too much work.

I'm not jealous of the AP so much as I am the moments they shared together. However, those moments were lies. Those moments were a fantasy that caused a lot of heartache and personal destruction. So maybe I'm not so jealous after all.

I'm still in mind movies from time to time and that bothers me quite a bit. If we get intimate I can't help but think, "they did this too." And that takes the wind out of my sails right there.

I just feel that I have missed out sharing with WW...unbridled passion, excitement and a connection she should have done/had with me.

Pre-D-Day our sex life was adequate, but routine. FWW was somewhat inexperienced and therefore uncomfortable with some things.

She was so different (or so I had convinced myself) from other women I'd known, I had put her on a pedestal and didn't push the issue of wanting more variety and excitement.

Post D-Day though ... the pedestal was chucked out the window and I now viewed her differently in this regard. Since then, I've not hesitated to make suggestions and offer direction to achieve what had been missing, and those things are no longer missing in our sex life.

This may be an opportunity for you brybry to pick up your game and ask for what you think you've missed out on. As the BH, I think you get to decide what direction the R bus travels.

My WW had sex with my thirty year old tennis pro. Even I thought this guy was a stud. I was jealous at first. Then I remembered that I am 45 years old, good looking by any standard, 175 pounds of solid muscle, can do sixty push-ups in 60 seconds, run my own business (jewelry store), raised two beautiful kids, am a great Dad, a respected member of my community, have high moral standards, know how to love a woman, have a nice fat nest egg, am college educated and have a loving extended family. The only thing this guy has over me is that . . . well . . . he's thirty. BFD. I do wish my WW had seen it that way. No longer jealous. Just sad that my WW destroyed our marriage.

No. I feel sorry for her actually.

How sad is it that you needed something from someone else's husband. I think she's pathetic.

She's also old enough to be my mother...

I get the jealousy stuff man. BTDT! Figure some of it will linger fore er. DBOM got the happy, sweet, shy side of WW. And has a monster schlong. So yeah... yay for me.

I was never jealous of MOM. I was more pissed at my STBXWW. Yeah they did some sexual shit that she denied me but at the end of the day it was just sex.

Not sure if you are headed towards D or not but i got to a point where I realized that sex is just sex. My STBXWW's private parts are not lined with diamond encrusted gold. There are plenty of women out there who will want to do stuff with you if you decide the A was a dealbreaker and get a D.

The stuff that was important to me like honesty, growing old together, conversation, actually loving each other beyond the physical is what hurt me the most. Sex is just sex. I can find passion, physical connection, unbridled desire with someone else once the D is final so at the end of the day the AP and the sex I "missed out" on was irrelevant to me. If it wasn't this AP it would have been someone else so why be jealous.

I have never been jealous of the other woman. Her life has always been trash and still is. What I am jealous of is the time she and WH took away from me....and the proceeding years since that I am trying to live through...to heal and move on.

Hozilla lives on in her trashy little world and WH thinks his life is wonderful now that "we" are moving forward.

I guess I am jealous that noone has any consequences but me and I didn't even get the pleasure of all the traveling, excitement, and screwing around. Guess this is where I say damned if I do and damned if I don't

I could never jealous of the AP; the AP is walking garbage.

I am jealous of the time my WH spent focusing on the AP while I facilitated his lifestyle by being the housekeeper, gardener, shopper, family hostess, and exercise partner.

I am jealous of how the AP manipulated him into focusing on keeping "it" happy by proudly stating, "I'm a taker not a giver". I was nothing more than an irritant he could ignore.

I'm jealous that he was able to be completely selfish.

Some of these ow/om are real lowlives. Ow I deal with probably looks good on paper but jus has the skank gene. She owns her own home, has a pretty good job, calls her

own shots and answers to no one so I guess I would have to recant my previous post. I don't think its jealousy, I just wish I had those things...my own home and a good job. I chose to be a sahm. But if I could only have it if I was her, I would

choose my own shitty life instead.