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Fidelia (original poster member #38345) posted at 6:00 AM on Saturday, February 16th, 2013
Both WH and I have communication issues, esp when arguing. We both have times when we conflict avoid before things bubble over. When in an argument, I often feel entrenched and find it hard to back down.
WH has been told to stand up for himself more and now in arguments he's started doing the same unhealthy stance as me...not a good idea!
We both need a book that helps us with communication and especially how to disagree healthily and respectfully.
I'd love it if it were an easy read, too 
Me: BW 36
Him: WH 36 (randomusername)
"lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed" Heb12v13
"Oh God give me
WakingFromADream ( member #33934) posted at 9:18 PM on Tuesday, February 19th, 2013
I actually have three recommendations for you. I didn't find them easy since I had to stop frequently to consider what was written.
"Fighting for your Marriage" by Howard Markham
This deals with many aspects of M. I feel that it has some really great insights into communication in a M and some of the dynamics that can occur.
"Crucial Conversations" and "Crucial Confrontations" by Kerry Patterson and Joseph Grenny
I really like these because they really give a nice way to break down confrontations into understandable chunks and gives you a starting point to be able to work through it.
Me(37) DS(9) DD 11/16/11 EA(PA?) M 11y D 9/3/13
Don't make anyone a priority when you are only an option.
Fidelia (original poster member #38345) posted at 11:19 PM on Tuesday, February 19th, 2013
Thank you 
Me: BW 36
Him: WH 36 (randomusername)
"lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed" Heb12v13
"Oh God give me
PippaPeach6 ( member #37523) posted at 5:31 PM on Wednesday, February 20th, 2013
The book that helped us the most was Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Dr. John Gottman. Complete eye-opener, especially for H. Our communication has improved 1000%. He also has DVDs of his seminars with wife Julie available on his website, if you're not readers -
eta: "respectfully" was key in improving our "discussions" and when/how to back down
[This message edited by PippaPeach6 at 11:32 AM, February 20th (Wednesday)]
Us: 50ish, madhatters, married 20 odd yrs
TT: May 2009 'til June
DDay for both: June 17, 2009
Me: 2x, same person, 1991
Him: 1.5 year PA (EA?) 2007-2009
Reconciled
Honey Badger don't care. - Randall
AFrayedKnot ( member #36622) posted at 12:25 PM on Thursday, February 21st, 2013
We found "The Marriage you have always dreamed of" By Greg Smalley, very useful. It is an overall relationship book but much of it is about communication. Lots of great techniques.
It is a very christian focused book, which we were hesitant about at first but we got over it pretty quickly.
BS 48fWS 44 (SurprisinglyOkay)DsD DSA whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better."Knowing is half the battle"
PlainsGirl29 ( member #33520) posted at 10:44 PM on Wednesday, March 6th, 2013
Check out marriage builders books by dr. Harley, "His Needs, her Needs" and "Lovebusters" may be a good start.
Helen of Troy ( member #26419) posted at 5:52 PM on Thursday, March 7th, 2013
NonViolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. This book can be life changing.
atsenaotie ( member #27650) posted at 8:48 PM on Thursday, March 7th, 2013
Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High
Written for business, but works well for me in family communications too.
LTA FBS
dday 10.5.09
Divorced
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