SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Tell me, are you content alone? I mean, content. Walk in the door of your house and glad to be home. Content with your own company. Revel in who you are and what you CAN accomplish

Cat, believe it or not, I do enjoy my alone time. Matter of fact, I am the one who slowed down him coming over every night! I am exhausted b/c I kept having to jump through hoops trying to make/keep him happy that I was even more exhausted after he left then before he came! His constant bad moods ruined our happy times. (My kids and mine). I have told him this repeatedly. So yes, I DO enjoy alone time, very much so. I love my house, I love my bedroom and I love being able to decorate it just the way I want it to look. No one to tell me what I can and can not do in my own house. I guess it has taken quite a while but I am getting to the point where I am happy alone. I don't even dream of having a husband anymore.

EW, what's the positive on this guy?

He even sent me a text yesterday saying that "being that I am not your BF, there is a lot of changes to be made."

Yes; how about the first change is telling him "Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!"

He is a loser, EW. Shake him off and get on with your life.

EW,

He isn't your friend if he is making demands. Friends support one another... they may disagree and talk about it and agree to disagree. But they don't demand or control each other.

Please let this 'friend' go.... what he is teaching your kids is control. Not love nor respect toward their mother.

Hugs,

K

EW,

First of all, hugs to you. I am sorry you are hurting. You deserve to be loved and happy.

You have gotten a lot of good advice here. Just want to tell you, that your story sounds very familiar to mine. I finally found the strength to let a guy go that would freak out over the smallest of things and who felt he should be more important than my own children. When we all went out together he would get mad when my kids were hungry and needed to eat lunch. Breaking up with him is the hardest thing I have had to do, but I know it was the right decision.

You deserve to have a friend that lifts you up, not tears you down. With a friend like him, who needs enemies.

((((EW))))

I'll never ever put up with cruelty or meanness ever again. Yes, I can recover. But it won't be with that person in my life for another second.

(((Exit Wounds))) I'm sorry your hurting, and I'm sorry this guy couldn't pull it together....but the things you are writing about him....these are ingrained personality/character problems. They will take a long time, if ever, to change...and most of these types of people don't change. You would have nothing but misery and the feeling of never being good enough with him.

As far as giving up, never having anyone in your life, blah blah blah....I've done all that. I gave up on finding someone that would click with me, accept me for who I am, and be nice to me. Seriously....figured at this point in life...not gonna happen.

Then I took some time off from dating after I broke up with XSO. I took a year and a half after my WS, and I took a year after XSO. I worked on finding myself again, being happy where I am, and I got to the point where I was quite happy on my own. Not even sure I wanted anyone to disturb the comfy life I had made for myself and dd. That is when MY best friend kind of snuck in here and stole my heart. I still won't let him hang around my dd because I am protective of her heart even more than mine, and one year is going to be the minimum for me to decide whether to start letting him around her a bit or not. I do know one thing though....I do NOT want anyone to help me raise my dd. I do a great job on my own and outsiders only seem to mess it up. So he isn't getting that job.

I am not ready for dating. I am not sure I would want to date anyone in the future. What for? So I can get hurt again?! No, thanks!

Absolutely take some time off. It would be very bad to jump in there and start dating again. Lick your wounds and give yourself time to heal and do some introspection here.....also, you are vulnerable right now because you are hurting. Predators can smell blood miles away. Don't date again until you are healed and strong.

He keeps saying he is not happy with me and I don't do enough for him. I can write page after page after page of what all I do for him but somehow that is not good enough. I told him I can't do anymore. I am going into depression trying to keep him happy. He is constantly in a bad mood. He even got angry b/c I switched my plans around w/ my kids!

I had plans on grocery shopping and then going to grab a bit to eat. Well, kids were hungry, so we ate first. He called while we were at lunch...then got mad b/c I had said that "we were going grocery shopping first and THEN out to eat!" And obviously I LIED to him b/c kids and I ate first and THEN grocery shopped!

If he isn't happy with you, then why did HE stay? He has some major problems. He is manipulative and controlling and cruel. CRUEL.

I'm so sorry for your hurt here but you are so much better off without that in your life. And it is okay to feel a bit hurt, depressed, angry, bitter, and hopeless about a future with guys right now. You are grieving sweetie. All your feelings are valid right now. Be good to yourself and let time do its' thing.((((extra hugs))))

[This message edited by NaiveAgain at 7:51 AM, March 20th (Wednesday)]