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not4ever (original poster new member #38773) posted at 11:15 PM on Tuesday, March 26th, 2013
Hello all. I keep hearing about a VAR. Can someone explain what this is and how/where to get one? I'm three months in from Dday, One month of NC and working hard towards R - but the trust is shattered and I'm still getting TT's. I need to put my mind at ease that the contact is truly over. Thanks.
me-BS 43
WS- 40
Dday-Dec.26, 2012
simplydevastated ( member #25001) posted at 11:17 PM on Tuesday, March 26th, 2013
It's a voice activated recorder. You can find them online or in stores like Radio Shack. I think some phones have apps that you can download.
Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)
not4ever (original poster new member #38773) posted at 12:18 AM on Wednesday, March 27th, 2013
Thanks Simplydevastated. Are they small enough to conceals easily and what about battery life. I guess I better go do some research. I never thought I'd be dealing with this. So much for trust.
avicarswife ( member #35799) posted at 8:42 AM on Wednesday, March 27th, 2013
They are a dictaphone with a voice activated setting. Quite small - I can conceal mine in a closed hand. You can get them with rechargeable batteries or AA or AAAs. Using the lithium batteries it lasts several days.
On D-day:BS 46 (me)WH 50
Toasted22M 26 yrs,3 kids (16-24) at discovery. D-Days 2012 23-24 May + TT D-Day 2013 12 Apr
mOW #1 EA yrs PA Feb 2009-end 2011
mOW #2 EA months PA 4 mths 2010
mOW#3 PA once
2022 Separated
exhausted lady ( member #30217) posted at 8:51 AM on Wednesday, March 27th, 2013
You can get them at almost any store that carries electronics....just be sure to find one that doesn't light up in use. LOL.
We had a member in the past that pasted one under the dash of her H's car, it fell out, and he thought it was a bomb. Mass hilarity ensued.....once you get past 51 posts you can read it in Investigative Tips forum.
But, hide it someplace sneaky in a place he would likely talk to OW. The car. Home office. Wherever.
We had a member recently that busted her whole WH's secret life wide open with one, and it saved her from (probably) years of future misery.
It's a good idea. A good place to hide one is in the pocket behind the drivers seat in hubby's vehicle. Too bad you can't hide one in his boxers. 
Sometimes the hardest part of finally seeing through someone is accepting what you see...
God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to
change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.
-Reinhold Neibuhr
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