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phmh ( member #34146) posted at 1:03 AM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
I just don't want him to pin this on me saying I never responded or something
Why does this matter?
Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!
Married: 11 years, no kids
Character is destiny
Why?? (original poster member #18132) posted at 2:29 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
Because I am new and this is the first person who has been very friendly to me and I don't want her to think I blew him off.
"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
"If you want something in this life, reach out and grab it."
Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 3:06 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
Why?? I agree that you shouldn't just poof because you were set up by a friend/coworker. I actually wouldn't be surprised if he feels the same way, and that's why the delay in responding. Kind of the long, slow, drawn out poof. That's why I think you should put your cards on the table and make it very clear that you would be interested in meeting, but not pen pals, no hard feelings, the end.
"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ
phmh ( member #34146) posted at 1:48 AM on Friday, April 12th, 2013
Oh, I thought you meant that you cared what he thought about you, and I just kept thinking -- why does it matter since it doesn't look like you will meet, so who cares what he thinks?
Have you spoken with your coworker at all about this?
I had a somewhat similar situation. I had been at my job for about 5 months when a coworker (more senior than me, but not my boss) wanted to introduce me to her daughter's volleyball coach. She gave him my e-mail address, we pen-palled a bit, and things never happened. Seemed like a nice enough guy, but I need someone with more initiative!
I just told her that I had suggested meeting after a few e-mails; he didn't appear interested and just appeared to want to e-mail. I'm not even sure who poofed on whom, but it's been months since we've e-mailed (I think our last conversation was about Halloween.) She just laughed, said something like "too bad -- he's missing out!" and our relationship is fine.
I think you might be worrying too much about what she thinks. Not that you need to be spilling your love life to her, but I'd probably mention something like "thanks for the introduction, but it didn't work out!"
Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!
Married: 11 years, no kids
Character is destiny
SkeerdButHopeful ( member #27541) posted at 7:16 PM on Friday, April 12th, 2013
I'd probably say, "Wow, I'm impressed you find time to email with how busy you are! I'm not really looking for a pen pal, but you seem like a great guy. If you'd ever like to get a drink, please feel free to give me a call." and then go quiet unless he asks you out.
I agree with this.
Me BS48
XWH47 mentally unstable, NPD?
M 8 yrs. DD11
Dday 1/26/10
Divorced 2011 followed by extreme harassment disguised as concern for DD. Convicted 2012&2014.
Charges currently pending. Now "self employed" with no insurance or CS on D
Why?? (original poster member #18132) posted at 12:02 AM on Sunday, April 14th, 2013
Yes, I did talk a bit to the new co-worker and told her the basic info that I don't think he's looking to date based on his very busy responses, etc.. I did reply to his last message but expect the slow poof. Not really interested anymore but due to the coworker don't want to be the poofer...Have my 1st outside of work get together and I'm nervous. My crush was invited...maybe he shows with a date and that will kill it for me once and for all!! Also, stopped by my old job today. Really miss many things about it 
"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
"If you want something in this life, reach out and grab it."
GrievingMommy ( member #28127) posted at 1:07 AM on Sunday, April 14th, 2013
I say go with what Ama said if he replies again. ("Wow, I'm impressed you find time to email with how busy you are! I'm not really looking for a pen pal, but you seem like a great guy. If you'd ever like to get a drink, please feel free to give me a call.")
That way it's more or less saying I'm done emailing - 'shit or get off the pot'.
If after sending that email he stills sporadiacally sends emails, I'd ignore them.
Hopefully your crush won't show up with a date!!
[This message edited by GrievingMommy at 7:07 PM, April 13th (Saturday)]
Me - Now 36 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11
Why?? (original poster member #18132) posted at 7:52 PM on Sunday, April 14th, 2013
So I had a good time last night at the work event. Crush showed up dateless...someone was offering to set him up with some wealthy colleague's daughter 
Hope my dry spell ends soon! Need a real prospect 
"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
"If you want something in this life, reach out and grab it."
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