SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hi all,

It is time for me to introduce myselft to this thread. I have been primarily posting on the I Can Relate - Long Term Affair thread.

This past month, my WW told me she is done with our M; unwilling to work on it. Despite all the fallout from her LTA, I was still willing to work on the M and just emergenged from the post DDay depression in November 2012.

DDay1 - April 15, 2011 and WW gave me a false story.

DDay2 - June 17, 2011 evidence did not allow her to lie anymore

Full disclosure followed along with complete transparencey. However, WW carrried an angry attitude as if I had caused this mess.

So, we are proceeding to D and I would like this to go easily. Unfortunately, STBXW has unrealistic expectations that I am not willing to fulfill. That is, her life does not change, I move out, and I continue to support her and our kids completely financially. More on this later.

So, I intend to browse through the posts here, gather useful stuff, and post questions where hopefully I can benefit from your experience. Maybe my life will then become a little more peaceful, easier, and happier.

h&c

Welcome to our little home h&c. There are many wonderful people here willing to help with any questions you may have while going through this.

Obviously, your WW doesn't believe life should change. Time to give her a reality check. Good luck on your journey.

Welcome doesn't seem like the right word, but you are welcome here.

You will find lots of support from awesome people. You are safe here.

*waving*

Welcome. Lots of wonderful support here and wise people to help you find your way. Also, this is a great place to let loose a rant or vent.

Of course she thinks nothing will change...straight out of the unremorseful cheater handbook. My ex-shat actually thought that I would move closer to him and his OW so that way he could have a shot at 50--50 custody.

They always have to learn the hard way and it's not very pretty.

Welcome H&C to the D/S forum. There are lots of wonderful people here just like in LTA. I am glad that you are here. I already know alot of your story from LTA as I also occasionally post there myself. I am sorry that R did not work for you and your WW because I know how much you had hoped that it would. Unfortunately you can't R by yourself. I tried to same thing and it is not working for me either. I have not filed or seperated yet due to some health issues, but I know it is in my future too. I have already D one XWH after 20+yrs and now I get to do it again. This is a great place to vent as D/S is also a hard process, especially when it's not what you want. Anyway welcome!!!!

Dear hopeandchange, Welcome!! I just wanted to reassure you that D/S is an amazing and supportive forum. You are in great company!!

Your intent for your divorce to go easy will be highly unlikely. I want to remind you to take care of you first. Your needs, your wants, your assets.

Many many of us wanted our divorce to go smoothly and I think for most of us, it hasn't. I was gently warned by my friends here and they were right.

Hugs and support, dmari

Hi Hopeandchange

Glad you found this forum although the reason sucks.

So stbxw wants it all does she? That's no surprise. This is where I believe the BS who are men can be doubly screwed over because the female usually stays with the kids plus the family home therefore the BS has not only been kicked in the nuts by the infidelity but loses day to day contact with the children also. I realize I'm generalizing here but it is usually the rule.

All you can do is get a good family lawyer or seek advice through support services to make sure ex W's demands are kept in check otherwise she will spiral things out of control before you know it.

You are going to need a lot of support to tackle this. We will be there for you. It is a nightmare where kids are involved but you can set the example by making sure you maintain constant contact even if she tries to hinder you.

Get back to us as events unfold. Meanwhile......hugs to you.

Ellejay