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Divorce/Separation :
Grumpy cat for S/D

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woundedby2 ( member #18522) posted at 1:42 AM on Sunday, April 7th, 2013

Thanks, Tesla!

In 2010 I divorced the NPD assclown who cheated on me with my best friend.

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson

posts: 8027   ·   registered: Mar. 7th, 2008   ·   location: SoCal
id 6288530
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tryingagain74 ( member #33698) posted at 1:44 AM on Sunday, April 7th, 2013

These are hilarious!

FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

posts: 4079   ·   registered: Oct. 22nd, 2011
id 6288531
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debbysbaby ( member #32962) posted at 2:23 AM on Sunday, April 7th, 2013

Oh my god. I needed to put on Depends before reading this thread! I bout peed my pants!

[This message edited by debbysbaby at 11:52 PM, April 6th (Saturday)]

-betrayed almost my whole almost 15 yr marriage
-divorced since 2004

posts: 1025   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2011
id 6288575
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 tesla (original poster member #34697) posted at 3:08 AM on Sunday, April 7th, 2013

Okay, here we go.

Slight disclaimer, these do hit a little closer to home and probably aren't quite as funny.

Also--you see how I get when I get a little vacation time:)

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

posts: 5066   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2012
id 6288616
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Dreamboat ( member #10506) posted at 3:21 AM on Sunday, April 7th, 2013

"I'm the fucking blue bird of happiness"

OMG, I almost peed my pants!!! ROFLMFAO!!!

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

posts: 17695   ·   registered: Apr. 25th, 2006   ·   location: A better place :)
id 6288627
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gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 5:07 AM on Sunday, April 7th, 2013

"Hold my earrings"

I remember that one. That was hilarious!

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

posts: 9241   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Midwest
id 6288743
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stillstrong ( member #36144) posted at 6:03 AM on Sunday, April 7th, 2013

the potato line is actually coraline's. it was the title to one of her threads. Best thread title ever!

Oh, that's right! It's a great line.

Me BS 47
Him WS 51
DDay LTA Feb 21, 2006
R until DDay 2EA's 1/31/12 ONS 2/5/12 Broken NC 7/12/12
Moved out 9/12
Legally Separated 3/13

posts: 848   ·   registered: Jul. 16th, 2012
id 6288778
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SBB ( member #35229) posted at 9:31 AM on Sunday, April 7th, 2013

Correction please: it should be Klassy.

Oh my - my ribs hurt.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

posts: 6062   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6288842
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dlmos ( member #36839) posted at 3:06 PM on Sunday, April 7th, 2013

OMG this thread is awesome!

BH (32)
DS - 7, DD - 6
Divorced

posts: 461   ·   registered: Sep. 16th, 2012   ·   location: Fort Worth,Texas
id 6288989
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Lyonesse ( member #32943) posted at 8:39 PM on Tuesday, April 9th, 2013

Wow. I came late to this thread.

What I should be doing today:

1. Finish conference paper

2. File taxes

3. Write book review

What I am actually doing today:

Have Pregnant Stripper Whore GC made into large poster to mail to OW's workplace.

You made my soul sing with that one, tesla.

edited: Paragraphs. I got 'em.

[This message edited by Lyonesse at 2:40 PM, April 9th (Tuesday)]

Me: BS, 40's.

posts: 1956   ·   registered: Jul. 29th, 2011   ·   location: West Coast
id 6292057
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solus sto ( member #30989) posted at 9:51 PM on Tuesday, April 9th, 2013

I'm coparenting with a lower muppet.

I am!! (Only, really, I'm doing all the parenting, because muppets require hands up their asses to function, and not only is this impossible when there's a head inserted, but I don't want to catch any(more) nasty diseases.)

ETA: OMG--I'm dying. "Hold my earrings!" Bwahhhaahahaha!

[This message edited by solus sto at 3:56 PM, April 9th (Tuesday)]

BS-me, 62; X-irrelevant; we’re D & NC. "So much for the past and present. The future is called 'perhaps,' which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the important thing is not to let that scare you." Tennessee Williams

posts: 15630   ·   registered: Jan. 26th, 2011   ·   location: midwest
id 6292164
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stronggirl72 ( member #37293) posted at 3:33 AM on Wednesday, April 10th, 2013

Thank you so much for the laughs.

Absolutely hilarious.

"Taking the high road, and doing it with class."

DIVORCED!!

posts: 190   ·   registered: Oct. 28th, 2012
id 6292569
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NoTriangles ( member #35985) posted at 4:59 AM on Wednesday, April 10th, 2013

(Coming out of exile to LMFAO!!!!)

Ho-Lee Chit, this is funny!!!!! Nice job, T!!!!!

Me: Finding my SunlightHim: Traitor in my FoxholeLet go or get dragged.

posts: 1260   ·   registered: Jun. 30th, 2012   ·   location: a state of consciousness
id 6292636
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purplejacket4 ( member #34262) posted at 5:34 AM on Wednesday, April 10th, 2013

The thread in F&G is directing us to come to D/S to see this thread. OMG this is funny. "High maintenance fuck up"! I woke the dog up snorting so loud. Tesla keep them coming!

Me: BS 50
Her: FWS 53 (both family med MDs; together 23 years)
OW: who cares (PhD)
Dday: 10/11: 11/11 TT for months; NC 8/12
Limboconsiliationish
"band aids don't fix bullet holes" Taylor Swift
I NEVER mind medical ???

posts: 3013   ·   registered: Dec. 20th, 2011   ·   location: Here
id 6292669
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gma56 ( member #19595) posted at 5:43 AM on Wednesday, April 10th, 2013

"High maintenance fuck up

"

I KNOW this one is for FT ! The 74 yr old DUMBASS did in vitro with Twat....he has NEVER seen high maintenance until now !

Thank God for divorce !

These are so funny !

ETA: The Small Chick For a Small Dick works for him too..

Gma

[This message edited by gma56 at 1:36 AM, April 10th (Wednesday)]

BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

posts: 20502   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2008   ·   location: Closer to where I want to be..
id 6292677
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Getting to Happy ( member #35200) posted at 5:43 AM on Wednesday, April 10th, 2013

OMG!!!

Tesla

Thanks so much for the laughs!

Love ya for it!

WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown

posts: 1254   ·   registered: Apr. 1st, 2012   ·   location: La La Land
id 6292678
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Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 5:45 AM on Wednesday, April 10th, 2013

Tesla, this last set is the funniest yet. Hold my earrings? I got nothing?

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

posts: 10722   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011   ·   location: USA
id 6292681
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MyReturn2Me ( member #34352) posted at 5:57 AM on Wednesday, April 10th, 2013

Two thumbs up!

Me: BS 51 and Freaking AWESOME!
Him: Who the fuck cares........

posts: 259   ·   registered: Dec. 31st, 2011   ·   location: Puget Sound
id 6292687
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gahurts ( member #33699) posted at 2:10 PM on Wednesday, April 10th, 2013

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie

posts: 3991   ·   registered: Oct. 22nd, 2011   ·   location: Georgia
id 6292876
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EmotionalFool ( member #37362) posted at 3:49 PM on Wednesday, April 10th, 2013

I am curious whats "Hold my earings" ref?? I dont get it.

WW: 28 (ME)
BH: 28 (SI profile: CrappyLife)
D-Day- 15/10/12

posts: 334   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2012
id 6293011
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