SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hello. If you'd like to see the proof my WH is cheating on you, please let me know. I went to my house twice to get my mail while WH was at work and caught the 21-year-old twink half naked in bed the first time and coming out of the shower the second time. He proceeds to text me how much he trusts and loves her and how I shouldn't be going to MY house for MY mail that is in both our names and he is refusing me.

But since you like to fuck married men in U-Haul trucks, laugh when he dunks children's heads in the toilet (including yours you sick bitch), and help force children to keep secrets, perhaps you wouldn't care he's cheating on you..

If by chance you don't care he's cheating, then I have a few requests:

1. Quit leaving your bras around on the floor. I didn't appreciate my 5-year-old asking me if I still have bras at the house.

2. Quit telling my 9-year-old you guys are just "friends" and then sleeping on the couch with my husband and telling my son to go back to bed when he catches you "snuggling." He needs time to adjust.

3. Actually, I'd appreciate if you'd just fucking disappear and never see them again. You've fucked with their minds long enough, and I'm tired of imaging your slut hands touching them.

Maybe next time you see Twink you can ask "does MOW know about you?"

I basically did that last time I was there, but my problem is I don't mind the twink. She's just young and stupid. WH told me I ruined their relationship, but maybe he lied his way out of that one too.

Not sure if she doesn't care or doesn't believe me about MOW, but she said she hasn't met my kids and doesn't plan to, so she doesn't bother me.

The second lawyer I consulted with told me not to contact MOW, so I've been trying to bite my tongue, but I want that bitch away from my kids. Like yesterday.. I feel like I could do it with the texts he wrote me about how much he loves the twink, but not sure if I should..

You unfortunately can't stop her seeing your kids this way. If you have legal grounds then I would pursue those to the ends of the earth.

Contacting her like this makes her feel important. She is not - she is irrelevant. XWH is your problem here - not MOW. If he's doing all of this shit he'll do it with the next GF and the next and the next.

You'll make yourself crazy - by all means get some popcorn and laugh at the freak show but don't become a player in it.

I do get it. OWUmpteen makes me sick - she dresses in old dead lady clothes and is a vile, hideous human being. They both are. I hate it that either of those disgusting whores get to spend any time with my precious little girls children but there is nothing I can do. I have to stand by and watch him try to fuck them up - unless/until I have legal grounds to stop it that is. Doing what you're doing would make me crazy.

Instead, I focus on being the best mum I can be. I am a completely present, loving, attentive and healthy parent and I'm a great human being. I remind myself they only need one good parent and I'm a great one.

Any energy directed in those whores direction is energy wasted - energy I'd rather put into my girls, into me.

Write it here... don't send it. I do understand the NEED to say something to her. It can make you crazy.

My attorney told me OW was inconsequential and if I really wanted to mess with her.. ignore her. For the last 10 years I have ignored this person... it makes OW crazier and crazier that I look right thru her. She has been known to yell and scream at me in front of the kids...and others. The results have been that I get support and she is deemed a psycho by the community. Oh and X well he is her puppet...she has his kahunas in a pouch in her purse.

Be there for your kids.. eventually they will realize who truly knows them and who is using them as a prop to the happy family picture.

Hugs,

K

I have to agree with the others. Trust me, I can certainly understand the desire to do it. However, I fear it may not have the desired outcome anyway. She may just ignore it since it would be coming from you.

I would just pop some popcorn and wait for the implosion to happen all on its own. She is bound to find out sooner or later.

Thanks so much for the replies. I have to admit that part of me just wants some revenge.

After the horrible mediation, I had to agree to 3 overnights a week, including school nights. It's only been a couple weeks, and he's already made so many mistakes, not doing homework, not signing the planner, picked them up late twice, and my younger son was sick and was prescribed an albuterol machine every 4 hours, and the dipshit came and got it from me, but didn't give it to him for 2 days.

He has also refused me phone calls when he has the kids, and my son's phone keeps getting "lost" or "broken," and then of course it magically appears or gets fixed just in time for when they come back to me. And when the kids do call me, it's always on speakerphone. We talked for less than 2 minutes a couple days ago before I heard him tell the kids to "wrap it up and tell mom to leave us alone now." We were also having a text argument when he had them, and my son texted me "Dad blocked you. Don't call or text him. Just email him." I mean, why the fuck does my kid have to know about all our problems?? He's also texted my son before that I'm a liar and can't be trusted, and I'm just so sick of him bashing me all the time. If this is what he does when I can see and hear, what does he say when I can't?? My kids keep saying they have to keep secrets, and they can't tell me things. It's such a mind fuck, and I don't know how to stop it.

I am in the process of switching lawyers, seeing 2 more tomorrow, and I'm just praying I find someone who can help me and doesn't cost a fortune.. I have everything documented and very good proof of almost of it, mostly him texting me to "stop being a bitch" and that being late to pick them up and not giving my son the machine "isn't a big deal."

I won't be sending anything to the MOW. I knew putting it here instead would be the right thing..

Now if I can just find the right lawyer to help me get my revenge the legal way.. I'm so sick of him hurting the kids. The mama bear in me can't take it any longer.

Get your Dr to write out specific instructions for you XH to follow. I had to do that with XH... and then threaten to have Child protective services called IF he didn't follow my DD's treatment plan. And I would have called, he knew it.. so he followed her treatment plan. This was after several times of NOT following..

Sheesh... they never stop amazing me as to how far they go.. is there a playbook somewhere.. they do the same shite.

Hugs,

K

Make sure that you are documenting these things.

You'll have to surrender to this whilst he has them 3 nights a week.

Talk to his teachers, principal, doctors, everyone BUT him and should they agree with you they will raise it with him.

Do not try to reason with him - he is well beyond that. Do what you can legally and via CPS and try to let go of the rest.

I was in a bad place about his shit parenting a few months ago and it was killing me.

SI came to my rescue and reminded me that I'm not responsible for the kind of father he is. I can't control what he does and raging against it was just making me crazy.

Now I expect less than zero from him. I am not surprised or disappointed. I'm prepared for it. I move my body with the wildly rocking boat rather than try to stop it rocking.

His fuckery can still make me hopping mad sometimes but it doesn't consume me like it once did. Now I just feel sad for my girls - they deserve so much better. I hope he does better for them but I won't hold my breath.

When he lets the girls down I am there for them without taking on any of the burden of responsibility. They know he's the one who let them down. They know its not because of them but him. They know they can talk to me about it and I encourage them to raise it with him.

Detachment was easier as a wife than as a mother co-parenting with an incompetent imbecile. But it's essential.

Expect zero - fight what you can via lawyers/CPS, be their loving/stable soft place to land and surrender to the rest.

Their father is a fuckwit - it might be a permanent condition. You can't control what he does/doesn't do but you can control how much you let it impact you. Pick your battles and practice allowing the rest to roll off your back. Don't fix his mistakes as that would be a full-time job. Just hold your end - if he can't hold his end he might just have to give them back.

ETA getting into it with him to try to change him just adds fuel to the fire. Total NC, he doesn't exist. It works for me.

[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 2:54 AM, April 10th (Wednesday)]

I have not spoken to the OW and I KNOW she wants a fight.

You know what you can do....if you have extra $$$ get a PI to bust your H. Wait until you get what you want in your D, then send the DVD the PI will give you to the MOW !!!