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WishingForLethe (original poster member #34805) posted at 11:09 PM on Wednesday, April 10th, 2013
If it will bother anyone, I won't. I was a WS. I realize how sick and broken I was when I made the decision to have the A. No excuses. And I have spent the last 16 months working as hard as could to become a better person who would never be capable of doing something like that again. Even though my BH tells me how proud he is of all the changes I have made, and how much he likes the new me- he cannot get past what I did and has asked for a divorce.
I am going everything I can to let him go as lovingly as possible. I do not want to hurt him anymore. So far, we are closer than ever as we work towards ending our 15 year marriage.
However, I love him so much and this is killing me. I would love to post here as I am so comfortable with SI- however, I realize many of you may not want an WS here under any circumstances. If that is the case, I want to respect that.
Don't look at how far you have to go, but how far you have come
tesla ( member #34697) posted at 11:24 PM on Wednesday, April 10th, 2013
Welcome, wishing, this is your home too.
"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 11:25 PM on Wednesday, April 10th, 2013
You are more than welcome here, Wishing. Anyone dealing with D or S is goes through very similar issues, and the labels that brought us here mean so little at that point.
It is a very loving thing for you to work to make this as smooth and cooperative as possible.
Welcome. 
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
HurtsButImOK ( member #38865) posted at 11:41 PM on Wednesday, April 10th, 2013
I would say welcome. The forum description dosnt seem to preclude a FWS from posting.
Responses may be slanted towards the betrayed POV but it is understandable that you will also be going through the same feelings of grief and loss through this process.
Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore
"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou
Dadtryingtocope ( member #36726) posted at 6:16 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
I agree - welcome Wishing.
Most of us here wished we had even had that chance to R. Those of us who never had a chance probably don't really know if the A was a deal breaker. That may be something you only know once you've been through it. For me I thought I could of worked through it, but only if she was willing to work. Which she wasn't.
I'm sorry for your hurt. It sounds like you have made great strives to repair yourself and you should continue to do that. Unfortunately if the A was a dealbreaker for him there is not much more you can do IMO.
If you have done everything you could to try and save your M then just understand you did what you could. Again, some of us wished we could of even had that chance but we never got it. Know that things will get better for you too. Learn from this mistake and use that knowledge in your new and better life ahead.
BH me 47
WW her 39
DDay 8-17-12
2 kids (13, 10)
Filed for D 9/14/12
Divorced 4/17/13
She - engaged 5/13 married 9/13
SBB ( member #35229) posted at 9:03 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
Welcome Wishing.
Please keep in mind anything said in here about WS relates to unremorseful WSs.
There are many others here who do not want to D. They, like you, deserve someone who wants to be married to them.
It was a dealbreaker for me - regardless of whether or not there was True Remorse. That was all about me, not about him. As it happens he did not have one skerrick of remorse so it was easier all around.
I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!
ButterflyGirl ( member #38377) posted at 9:12 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
I would like to say welcome to you too. You are not the first WS I've seen in this forum, so please feel to share.
Even though this is an infidelity website, I've also found so much great information and support here about divorce and custody issues in general, and I'm so grateful for that..
Hugs to you..
Hope24 ( member #9344) posted at 11:06 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
You're a mad hatter, yes?
If so, I am a WS/BS myself. Very happily and amicably divorced.
If you ever need support, please feel free to PM me.
She packed up her potential and all she had learned and headed out to change a few things.
metamorphisis ( member #12041) posted at 11:08 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
You are more than welcome to post in this forum. It is open to all members
Go softly my sweet friend. You will always be a part of who I am.
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