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Divorce/Separation :
Got my cash

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 Sue1964 (original poster member #37057) posted at 1:26 AM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013

Got my cash from house but so upset as now really over.

I feel more in a mess as no excuse to move on.i feel like I'm losing it this is 19 months down the track.

Surposed to be going to do divorce papers today.

God my mind is in such a mess.

posts: 287   ·   registered: Oct. 7th, 2012   ·   location: Uk
id 6293801
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 1:29 AM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013

(((((Sue))))) There can be such a swirl of emotions as the finality of things settles in. Keep breathing, honey. Vent as needed. We're here for you.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6293803
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 Sue1964 (original poster member #37057) posted at 1:42 AM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013

Is this normal all this upset as I feel I'm going mad.my head is so messed up my heart feels like somebody is trampling all over it.

I'm informed ow facebook saying so happy n excited anyone got packing boxes.yet he was with me Sunday saying we will end up back together.

posts: 287   ·   registered: Oct. 7th, 2012   ·   location: Uk
id 6293815
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HurtsButImOK ( member #38865) posted at 8:52 AM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013

Sue1964, I am new to this but think maybe every 'new' phase hurts. Its the end of what we believed, the end of our dreams and the end of being with the one we loved and thought loved us. It just plain hurts.

I think it is normal, as I say though I am new. Just started the financial bitch fight but its a whole new pain for me to deal with. I didnt want it, I tried to avoid it but I am now having to do it.

NC= no new hurts. I still fall off the wagon (I give myself permission at this stage to mess up every now and then, hell its only been 5 months for me whilst he had 5 years planning it).

They only seem to say what we want to hear, not what is the truth. Keep him out of your life, no matter how much you might still love him and want him back. At this point allow yourself some room and some healing time.

(((Hugs to you)))

Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou

posts: 759   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2013   ·   location: Australia
id 6294119
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Bluebird26 ( member #36445) posted at 9:00 AM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013

((Sue1964)) just put the money somewhere safe until you are ready to do something with it.

Good luck on your new beginning. It will get better then you feel right now, I promise.

Me: BW

Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.

Life's good.

posts: 1530   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6294124
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 Sue1964 (original poster member #37057) posted at 1:27 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013

Today we both went and filed for divorce heartbreaking .i feel somebody has taken my heart out my chest and is twisting it.

I so wanted him to tell me not to do it.

posts: 287   ·   registered: Oct. 7th, 2012   ·   location: Uk
id 6294224
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MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 1:34 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013

((((Sue))))

posts: 54450   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2007
id 6294230
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jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 1:44 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013

(((Sue)))

posts: 51035   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2011
id 6294238
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 3:36 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013

Sue, what you are feeling is very much normal. Be gentle with yourself. Practice your self-care. ((((Sue))))

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6294399
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persevere ( member #31468) posted at 4:17 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013

(((Sue))) I'm sorry, I know this is hard, and yes, it is normal.

It doesn't help that your WH is sending mixed messages to keep you holding on in some way. I truly recommend complete NC, it really does allow you to detach from him and does = No New Hurts.

Please take care of yourself and stay away from him, and please keep posting.

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

posts: 5329   ·   registered: Mar. 9th, 2011
id 6294450
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SBB ( member #35229) posted at 10:07 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013

You can choose how much this hurts. The end of your M does hurt but what makes it agonising is maintaining contact. Nurturing false hope.

You are not 19m down the track - you are X days down the track with X being the last time you allowed him to sweet talk you.

Remember what those weeks after DD were - you're feeling this way because you're right back to Day 1 again every single time you let him near you.

((Sue1964)) Piss him off honey - piss him off for good. He's a lying, cheating, POS, motherfucker. Close the bakery - no more cake eating from him.

Please - you'll make yourself crazy this way. LET.HIM.GO.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

posts: 6062   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6295058
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 Sue1964 (original poster member #37057) posted at 10:37 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013

That's what it's like everytime is like the 1st.but each time the hurt is getting worse.

posts: 287   ·   registered: Oct. 7th, 2012   ·   location: Uk
id 6295092
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SBB ( member #35229) posted at 3:25 AM on Friday, April 12th, 2013

It stops when you say it stops.

He won't stop cake eating as long as you'll let him - you have to stop it.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

posts: 6062   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6295406
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