SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hi, I have this going on too. My stbxh is extremely narcissistic and hated my questions of any kind.

Now that he is gone, many people tell me they didn't like him but couldn't put their finger on it. Its the narcissism, which shows up at workplaces too.

Karma will come, it is for me and will for you. The wallet is the way to go because money is part of their image, so take all you can.

If you dont need it, maybevyou could donate it to a charity that supports something he hates? I'm going to use it for education and paying down the mortgage.

I hope more light will shine between bouts of pain. One thing that helps me is our daughter and meeting small personal goals for her and i.

Why do I do this to myself. I just found out (at 2:00 in the morning) that in his acceptance speech, he thanked the skanky bitch, for being his "soul mate." I don't know if I want to break something and rage at the top of my lungs, or cry. When does this stop. When does this end? I feel like another knife has gone through my heart. Why do I let this hurt so much? Why the hell can't I just walk away, let him go and move on with my life. It's like I keep pulling the scab off the wound, just want to keep bleeding. I feel smothered by the memories, by the every day reminders I have that he is not in my life, that he cheated on me and is with the other woman. I just want to get the hell away from here. Find a place that I can breathe again. I just want to breathe again, fresh air, not the memories, the pain, the broken dreams and promises. PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO TAKE THE PAIN AWAY! I can not take any more of this pain, this hurt, this betrayal.

Dawn, I can really feel your pain, just hang in there, it will get better.

Is there any way you can move out of the home you shared with him? You need a fresh start, if not, start with redecorating your bedroom with all new linnens, curtains, paint the living room, change whatever you can in your surroundings. I know this sounds stupid, but it will keep your mind busy and focusing on something else.

Then try to NOT to find out anything about him, don't look on Facebook, don't ask friends about him - nothing, the more space, and the least you know about him, the sooner you will start healing. Knowing that stuff, will continue to set you back.

FTG - he is not worth it. They will get their day, remember how can a relationship last, that started out based on a lie?

Focus on you right now. I am a true believer that things happen for a reason, I know you don't want to hear that right now, but somehow, God knows what HE is doing! Just believe in the future, have hope that good things will come your way!

((((Dawn))))

The MOW skank blogged about my H being her "soulmate."

This is cheater speak for "how can it be wrong when the angels themselves played a hand in bringing us together?"

I'm sure there were more than a few snickers when you're WH made that statement, along with "wonder how long this one will last" comments.

I know it hurts, but it's also allowing you to see who he really is more clearly. You deserve so much more than this.

OMG, What a dick. Anyway, rest assured, as someone who just went to one of these, (my own story is similar but not), the whole room was talking about ass hat and bimbo. NOT about how great he is. I promise you. Bets were made, looks were passed, snickers were covered. The only two who were oblivious, were those two.

I know it hurts, my fwh hooked up w old fuck tunnel at the college regents when she came on board. Spent those dinners with her, sometimes my son and his girlfriend. Thinks no one knew. Now it is me there, in the front of the room, with the power hitters, and guess what? I told a powerful friend at the univ, and she simply just left at the end of her term. No one asked her back or called her, and one can only assume, she is pissed. No way she didn't know that for the last 2 years she was in the back of the room at every "social", Bummer. Especially for someone who feeds on attention.

He will soon feel the same. Not to worry. Stay strong, vent here, and take everything you deserve from the marriage. You were a lovely wife and reason for his success, he blew it up. They both know it.

[This message edited by fourever at 8:02 AM, April 17th (Wednesday)]

(((Dawn58)))

I'm so sorry for your pain but truly, your H received the Distinguished Asshole award...and he confirmed it all by a shout-out to his whore GF! Soul mate, seriously...he is a classless douche!

As LivinginLimbo said, you deserve so much better than this! For today, focus on doing just one nice thing for yourself...anything at all that will give you a lift...and then wake up tomorrow and do something else positive...keep taking those steps towards happiness - force yourself if you must (and I think at times it does feel forced). Hopefully soon you will establish a new pattern in your life - one that says there is something good in each day, and its about me.

I'm so sorry for your pain but I also know you will get to the other side.

Dawn58 - huge big cyber hugs to you. There is a positive in all of this if you think about it. When his relationship with this skank crashes and burns think how stupid he will feel every time he sees someone from the awards dinner knowing how he gushed about her and said that she was his "soul mate". What is he 13 years old? Seriously? What professional does a shout out to his OW in front of his peers? That speech had an ulterior motive behind it. He really made a fool out of himself and he is too arrogant to see it. One day the skank will be sitting at home crying because he is at an awards dinner with yet another OW and thanking her too. Yeah, good times ahead for her!!!! What goes around comes around.

I'm so sorry. (((HUGS)))

I'd like to suggest you let whoever told you this latest tidbit to please not tell you stuff like this anymore. Tell them directly that it hurts you and prevents you from healing. If they don't stop, you need to distance yourself from them.

Thank you all for your posts. Loved the distinguished asshole award. That is the award that he has truly earned and deserves. Distinguished Liar and Cheater Award!!!

I just wish people knew the truth about him, that he's not this great guy, Chairman of boards, bank regional president, kind and honest guy. He's a self serving, narcissist pig. All these things just feed his ego, his attempt to fix that hole that is inside him, that will always be inside him.

He doesn't even donate that much money to the charities, the bank does. Everyone kisses his butt because of that. People spend time with him because "he" is a donor. It's the bank, not him. He made 1.8 million dollars last year and donated 10K to charity. That's a very small portion of his salary, he could easily afford more. He just bought an 80K car. He treats himself very well.

I hope the Karma bus runs him over!! I hope he has a massive fall from grace (but doubt that will ever happen). So hard when you want justice and know it's never going to come.