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forgivingnow (original poster member #33549) posted at 9:55 PM on Monday, April 22nd, 2013
We were listening to the Bruno Mars song "When I Was Your Man" in the car.
I always thought the song was so sad...about infidelity & the wife leaves...he 'should have brought you flowers & held your hand, should have given you all my hours...'
'I know I'm probably much too late to try & apologize for my mistakes...'
My husband said I love this song...I asked why do you love this song, it is so sad. He responded, it's a beautiful song. I do not take you for granted. I am very grateful for you. I'm grateful for "us" and I love us and I love you.
Now the song makes me happy when I hear it. We did not give up on each other. He holds my hand...all the time, even when we sleep and he now gives me 'all his hours'.
What does your spouse do or say to let you know they love you and "get it"?
Me-BS 57
FWH-57
M 37yrs.
Dday 3-19-11, TT 10/2011, Full truth July 2013
Strength comes from within. You can't get it from someone or go somewhere to get it. It is already here, waiting to be used when you need it most. Believe in yours
njgal480 ( member #24938) posted at 12:11 AM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013
What a nice post!
My FWH also 'gets it'.
He does all kinds of kind and loving things for me everyday.
We truly do have a 'new' marriage post d-day it sounds like you do too.
Me- BS
Him- WH
Long term marriage
D-day- Jan. 2007
5 yr. LTA
Reconciled.
HurtButHoping12 ( member #34918) posted at 12:37 AM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013
Awwww <3
Mine gets it too... he is so much more affectionate now than he ever was. He will have days where he will be on the verge of tears because he realizes how much he took the kids and me for granted. He realizes what he almost threw away.
We have a very different relationship now, than we ever did before. I'm grateful he finally gets it.
BW (me):31
WH (guiltfilled11): 32
together 12 years, married 6 years
DDay: July 6th 2011
False R: beginning of August
True R until DDay 06/20 - talking to another girl and lying about it
Kids: DD 8, DS 6, DD 4
ItStillHurts ( member #33617) posted at 1:57 AM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013
Lovely, touching post.
very happy for you (((Hugs)))
The cruelest lies are often told in silence (RLS).
DD: December 24, 2010, when she called me from a pay phone pretending to be someone else.
Me: BS (53)Him: WS (56) OW: 63 yr old Husband hunting predatory whore
struggling3 ( member #34671) posted at 2:02 AM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013
What a beautiful post...brought tears of happy to my eyes. My H also gets it. He is wonderful to me. Takes great care of me in every way.
Do you ever have any downs even though they really are doing everything right? I do and it makes me angry with myself 
Me - BS 58
H - WS 60/very remorseful and supportive
discovered 4 month long EA
R - slow and steady but very optimistic
LA44 ( member #38384) posted at 2:09 AM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013
Great post forgiving now! Thank you for it bc I have been focussing on some neg PAST stuff.
What does my H do? He tells me all the time that he loves me. That he is so very sorry. He holds my hand in BOTH of his and kisses me, calls me his angel. He knows Affirmation and Gifts are my love languages and he loves me this way. He says he is so grateful, lucky and will never harm me again.
And yes, Struggling3, even though things are going well, I do get caught up in sad stuff as noted above. Maybe its due to a trigger that I am not totally conscious of - maybe it is something I have read on SI that makes me retreat to those first 6 weeks. But I am letting him know this now - not waiting to explode.
Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear
h0pe4ul ( member #38446) posted at 2:36 AM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013
Really sweet, forgiving now! :). I am happy for the both of you.
Thank you for sharing.
Missymomma ( member #36988) posted at 4:25 AM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013
My SAWH finally gets it! He is telling me how much he loves and appreciates me. Tells everyone else how lucky he is to have me and the kids. How grateful he is that he has us! Other women are asking me what I have done to get such a loving, attentive husband. Really, it has taken almost two years to get here. Thank God! 
DDay - 6/15/11
R started - 7/1/11
False Discl- 9/27/12
Real Discl - 2/12/13
Poly - 3/1/13 Pass!
Me - BS (46)
WH - 52 (SA, NA, WA)
Kids: 2 littles and 1 grown
The road to recovery is long and hard. Some days I am up for it and others not!
forgivingnow (original poster member #33549) posted at 12:53 PM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013
"Do you ever have any downs even though they are doing everything right?"
struggling 3- Yes, I do. Sometimes daily, can hit me out of nowhere, but @ 25 months from dday it is getting easier to live in the present and believe and feel that his infidelity is not my reality now. Like right now, I just took him to the airport & he'll be gone for 4 days and I'm having a hard time. Travel is still a trigger...
missymomma-one of our friends asked us what out secret was(of why we were so close & so in to each other), if she only knew....why do you have to go thru so much pain to get to this level of intimacy??
Me-BS 57
FWH-57
M 37yrs.
Dday 3-19-11, TT 10/2011, Full truth July 2013
Strength comes from within. You can't get it from someone or go somewhere to get it. It is already here, waiting to be used when you need it most. Believe in yours
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