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Off Topic :
Is this wrong?

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 painpaingoaway (original poster member #27196) posted at 1:21 PM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013

So yesterday I took my adorable G-baby, (18 months old ) for a haircut at a barbershop that is known for handling toddler haircuts well.

We had to wait about an hour, as there was only one barber working at the time.

Two men were also waiting, (one guy about my age, and a younger guy looked about 30ish).

So by the time it was G-baby's turn, the 2 guys and I had talked a bit, (mainly with the older guy, as the younger one was messing with his phone alot ) so I felt like we were no longer total strangers.

G-baby was so good with getting his hair cut, and the barber and I were both so impressed and thrilled that there was no crying, screaming or holding him down that I asked the younger guy if he would mind taking a pic with his phone of G-baby getting his haircut and sending it to my daughter. (I don't have a smartphone, nor is there a camera on my phone. Alright now, y'all can quit laughing, yes, I am old school when it comes to phones and quite frankly could really care less. I'll upgrade to an iPhone when my contract renews in Sept, and I can get a free one).

Well, you should of seen the look on younger guys face. He raised his eyebrows and looked all surprised and shocked, and started stammering, and so I immediately said, "oh that's fine, no problem if you don't want to" and he muttered something about "being in the middle of something right now". (I think he was playing a game )

H says I just can't go around asking people to use their phones to send pics for me. Now, please understand, I have NEVER asked someone to do anything like this before, and never would, it's just that this particular time, it seemed okay to ask.

Was I wrong?


D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

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Deeply Scared ( Administrator #2) posted at 2:24 PM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013

ppga...

I don't know...because I'm a super friendly person, *I* wouldn't have given it a second thought, but I can see how others would be put out or feel awkward by it.

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.

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ajsmom ( member #17460) posted at 2:28 PM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013

I can see AJ being asked to do this and doing it.

I think the dude was rude.

JMHO.

AJ's MOM

Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34

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Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 2:33 PM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013

It would have put me off, ppga. (But I'm NOT an outgoing person, so take it for what it's worth...)

Also, I don't know much about phone games, but maybe he was at a point where he would have lost the game when you asked.

I did lend my phone to a gentleman this past Sunday. I was birding on the bay at Galveston. The man & his son were sitting near their kayak and he asked if he could use my phone to call his wife because she was supposed to pick them up and they had been waiting for quite a while. I hesitated but then figured if he ran off with my phone, I could probably catch him Also, my phone doesn't work very well and drops calls all the time, so I was a bit worried. Wound up I had no service in the area.

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

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 painpaingoaway (original poster member #27196) posted at 2:36 PM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013

Oh good, now I don't have to hang my head in shame, lol.

Or, perhaps, maybe the three of us are just old farts?


D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

posts: 7192   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2010   ·   location: Coastal South
id 6308495
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 painpaingoaway (original poster member #27196) posted at 2:39 PM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013

Uh oh. sad is making me feel shameful again.

[This message edited by painpaingoaway at 8:39 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday)]


D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

posts: 7192   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2010   ·   location: Coastal South
id 6308501
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Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 3:07 PM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013

Maybe he didn't know how to send a pic.

Just a thought.

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

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Lucky2HaveMe ( member #13333) posted at 3:16 PM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013

Honestly, I would have thought it weird if a stranger I had just met asked me to take a pic and send it to someone I don't know - and I would wonder why they trusted me to NOT send a pic of a kid onto someone else... anyone else.

Ya, you were wrong.

Love isn't what you say, it's what you do.

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 painpaingoaway (original poster member #27196) posted at 3:18 PM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013

Oh Lucky! You are absolutely right! I never thought about that!


D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

posts: 7192   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2010   ·   location: Coastal South
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VioletPush ( member #31365) posted at 3:24 PM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013

I would be hesitant to comply with such a request because whoever I was sending the message to would then have my phone number. I don't like giving my number out to strangers.

I think you let him off the hook very gracefully though! :)

[This message edited by VioletPush at 9:24 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday)]

Got rid of a lot of baggage, moved across the country, and am moving on with my life!

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 painpaingoaway (original poster member #27196) posted at 3:26 PM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013

Ah, another good point! VP.

Oh shit. I'm wrong. I hate to be wrong.


D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

posts: 7192   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2010   ·   location: Coastal South
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ajsmom ( member #17460) posted at 3:27 PM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013

Sheesh. Gauging from some of these responses, it saddens me to think that we truly have reached the age when we can't ask people to do anything for us.

Like I said before, if I (or I'm sure my son) was asked the same favor, I/we would have done so. Something similar had happened to me once - I was at a restaurant and a couple was celebrating her birthday. To her surprise, he had a decorated cake made and brought out to her table. He had forgotten his phone and asked if I could take some photos of her with the cake and email them to him. I did it without question. Obviously it wasn’t a photo of a child, but I didn’t hesitate in the least.

The scenario as was painted had ppga engaged in conversation with these guys prior to her asking. Granted, the younger guy, not so much. Still, she gained a sense of "ok" with these guys. Her spidey senses weren't flaring up and she felt safe to broach them/him with the question. I think to call her out as flat out wrong seems a bit harsh to me.

Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34

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 painpaingoaway (original poster member #27196) posted at 3:32 PM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013

I'm cool with it AJM. They make some really good points.


D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

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Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 3:34 PM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013

I too would be seriously weirded out by this request. That said, I'm a people pleaser, so I probably would have done it anyway.

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

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metamorphisis ( member #12041) posted at 3:40 PM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013

Is it ok if my feet are firmly planted in both camps?

I would do it for you without blinking an eye. However, you and I would have been chatting about the weather, kids, news stories and summer vacation plans by that point. I like people, and if they don't give me a creepy vibe I will chat away

My concern is because it was a young man he was worried about one of two things.. taking a picture of a child and being accused of being a perv. Or B) his girlfriend or wife wondering who he had been emailing with. I suppose that's my experience with these boards coming into play.

Funny you should bring this up though because my husband was at a baseball game with his dad and my son, and my son was on the big screen for something and he didn't have a camera. The lady in front of him snapped a pic for him and sent to our email. Dh explained it as soon as he came in so I wouldn't worry.

I find it interesting that people would be so concerned over asking a stranger to take a picture but think nothing of slapping pictures of their kids all over the internet. Even with Facebook privacy settings, your friends and family could pass them on. That frightens me more.

Go softly my sweet friend. You will always be a part of who I am.

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idiot85 ( member #38934) posted at 3:46 PM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013

I'd have totally sent it- and told you to get a Blackberry instead of an iPhone!!

BH-32 (me)
WW-31

Multi famam, conscientiam, pauci verentur.

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TattoodChinaDoll ( member #34602) posted at 3:49 PM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013

I would have done it because I'm a mother doing a favor for another mother and her daughter. So I get it that way. But later on I would totally be telling people, "some random lady asked me to take a picture of her grandson and text it to her daughter. Doesn't she feel weird knowing a stranger now has a picture of the kid and her daughter's number. What if I was a total creeper? And how do I know that the daughter isn't crazy and now has my number?"

It was probably a combination of a bunch of things people have mentioned above.

Me: 35
WH: 37 TimeToManUp
Married: 14 years, together 19 years
3 daughters: 12, 8, 6, and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)

D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011

This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.

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 painpaingoaway (original poster member #27196) posted at 3:57 PM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013

My concern is because it was a young man he was worried about one of two things.. taking a picture of a child and being accused of being a perv. Or B) his girlfriend or wife wondering who he had been emailing with.

Damn, more good points Meta"

And

slapping pictures of their kids all over the internet

oh Gawd, I've done that too, right here on SI. (although I usually take them down rather quickly). Ack. Kill me. (just kidding)


D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

posts: 7192   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2010   ·   location: Coastal South
id 6308595
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Dark Inertia ( member #30727) posted at 4:00 PM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013

I think you are going to get a few different responses from the type of people that you are asking. Please take into account that this was a younger man, possibly without children. Honestly, I kind of would been put off by the request, but I may have done and added "time for you to get a phone with a camera"... in a tactful way, of course.

Plus... it sounds like you were not interacting with the younger guy that much. You were talking to the older gentleman as the younger one was messing with his phone alot. If he was messing with his phone it doesn't sound like he was as engaged in the conversation.

And here is something else... and I will say this as gently as possible...

I am sure your grandbaby is adorable, and I am sure most people can appreciate how polite and adorable he is... but your grandbaby is not affiliated with the younger man at all. For all we know, he could secretly dislike children. It is a little presumptuous for us to be comfortable enough to assume the guy will not mind taking a picture of a stranger's kid, and then sending the pic to another stranger. Yes, the child is adorable, but it is not his. Nor does he know the parents at all. Honestly, I would be put out, as simple as a request as it may be. JMO.

[This message edited by Dark Inertia at 10:00 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday)]

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 painpaingoaway (original poster member #27196) posted at 4:04 PM on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013

Damn, I'm getting a spanking. But that's okay. I wanted opinions.


D-Day June 2009
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

posts: 7192   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2010   ·   location: Coastal South
id 6308607
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