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Newest Member: WishingINeverLooked

Divorce/Separation :
Stbxh is interested in SI, any advice?

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Crescita ( member #32616) posted at 6:50 PM on Thursday, April 25th, 2013

I'd find another site to direct him to. It'll throw him off your scent if he has an ulterior motive, and if he is genuine, he can glean wisdom elsewhere.

“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.” ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

posts: 3640   ·   registered: Jun. 28th, 2011   ·   location: The Valley of the Sun
id 6311634
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WishingForLethe ( member #34805) posted at 11:43 PM on Thursday, April 25th, 2013

As a WS, this site changed my life. When I started reading here, I really started to "get it." Even if it did not save the marriage- it saved me.

As a result of the growth I experienced here, my STBXBS and I are very close and have a very positive relationship.

As long as they are here for themselves, I don't think it can be bad. Either they will start to "get it" and make positive changes, or they will be offended by the reality they are shown and run with their tail between their legs.

Don't look at how far you have to go, but how far you have come

posts: 350   ·   registered: Feb. 13th, 2012
id 6312029
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LadyQ ( member #32847) posted at 11:56 PM on Thursday, April 25th, 2013

Soooo not a good idea. if you want to hear my tale, pm me

Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

posts: 1650   ·   registered: Jul. 21st, 2011
id 6312054
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PanicAttack53 ( member #34195) posted at 12:58 AM on Friday, April 26th, 2013

quite a few people actually censor themselves when they post in fear that their stbx is lurking

Yep! This was/is me. I can tell you horror stories about directing others to this site. Unfortunately, I know the whole staff here will concur about my sorry situations regarding this.

Funny that this thread would come up now because I just discovered that stbxWW is still tracking me here. I went to her new apartment today to set up her cable TV & internet because she's such a noob and couldn't do it. I had to get into her browser to set up her router and guess what I see as the first link in her history? Yep! SI was staring me right in the face. I asked her about it (I don't know why) and of course she lied to me again and said she hadn't been on SI for six months. Total bullsh!t because I know she did a factory reset on her laptop after she moved out to remove *something I had on there.

That's a really long way around advising you NOT to do this. It only works for a truly remorseful wayward which ours are not!

[This message edited by PanicAttack53 at 6:59 PM, April 25th (Thursday)]

Me-BH Her-XWW | B/ 59 on D-day (11/17/11) | D final on 10/1/13 I'm Lovin' life again!
Rest of the story really doesn't matter any more.
“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have.” ― Eckhart Tolle

posts: 926   ·   registered: Dec. 13th, 2011   ·   location: Midwest
id 6312130
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solus sto ( member #30989) posted at 1:43 AM on Friday, April 26th, 2013

I had a very bad experience with my husband (and his OW) on SI. I am in the camp that thinks it wise to keep it to yourself.

If he's motivated, it's not a hard site to find. And while he looks for it, he might find other useful information for his healing.

BS-me, 62; X-irrelevant; we’re D & NC. "So much for the past and present. The future is called 'perhaps,' which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the important thing is not to let that scare you." Tennessee Williams

posts: 15630   ·   registered: Jan. 26th, 2011   ·   location: midwest
id 6312204
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