SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

No, no kids. We were in the process of trying to conceive, all the while she was deep in the A. We had just decided to start looking for houses together during the A too.

I just truly cannot begin to understand what was running through her head. Maybe I never will.

It's been a tough morning. Lots of tears. I've gained an even deeper appreciation of Jeff Buckley lately. That guy knew how to reach right into his soul and pull out the pain in the most beautiful ways.

Here's a cover I did of one of his songs shortly after buying myself my new acoustic guitar for Valentine's Day. Not sure if I ever posted this:

http://youtu.be/IE3xFM8Kqz0

If I had my choice I would be on the next plane. I lived on Oahu for 20 years and it was the happiest time of my life! Although Boston is an awesome city with the culture, history and arts Revere Beach just doesn't cut it. Nothing like the pounding of the waves at Waimea on a big surf day!!!

Maybe you can host a Hawaii G2G!!

PS I am originally from Boston so I can relate to the "friendly" thing.

Edited for the PS

[This message edited by girlsbird at 4:49 PM, April 27th (Saturday)]

It's amazing how ones life can change course.

It must feel overwhelming and disappointing right now, compounded by what you went through in Boston, but it could be a wonderful, unexpected turn for the better.

We were in the process of trying to conceive

Be careful, she may try to R just because she won't have much time to start a relationship and try to have kids again.

[This message edited by nuance at 10:56 PM, April 27th (Saturday)]

"Revere Beach just doesn't cut it" LOL! Right?! Even Hampton is better.

Great video - thanks for sharing. You have a good voice and I wish I could play guitar like that! I think it would have been very therapeutic post d-day.

Sorry you are having a tough day.

I'm also 3 months out from D-Day. I wish Hawaii was an option. Go...and never look back. Oddly enough, the OM suggested the same movie, Secretary, to WW in an email. I stopped by two days ago to drop off my daughter and saw it sitting on the DVD shelf. Yeah, I'd hop a flight to Hawaii right now.

Guitar AND piano.

*sigh*

Wouldn't it be nice if you could go back to Hawaii before she gets back? Since, she has cut off contact all weekend-you wouldn't be there to pick up where she left off. Good luck. I hope you do go and find a new, better life.

Dear Cuckolde!!

Sounds like the universe has opened up a beautiful door for you!!! So sorry you are going through this, it sucks....I am 5 months out and it still hurts. One of the thoughts I have, is getting away from here. Away from the memories, the triggers. Start my life new!!!! Hawaii would be the perfect place for you, paradise!!!!!

I am glad you reached the point of taking care of yourself and stopping the insanity. My WH showed no remorse and chose to be with the OW. He told people that I left him (he kicked me out) and got so much sympathy. The people that work with him baked him cookies and sent food home with him. Really??? I filed for divorce first (he said that he was going to take care of the divorce) and now he is telling everyone that I filed for divorce. Poor baby, he has made himself look like the innocent victim! Has not mentioned the affair, the 4 months of lying and cheating. He is now introducing the skank as his soul mate. Great guy!!

I am glad you reached the point of taking care of yourself and stopping the insanity. My WH showed no remorse and chose to be with the OW. He told people that I left him (he kicked me out) and got so much sympathy. The people that work with him baked him cookies and sent food home with him. Really??? I filed for divorce first (he said that he was going to take care of the divorce) and now he is telling everyone that I filed for divorce. Poor baby, he has made himself look like the innocent victim! Has not mentioned the affair, the 4 months of lying and cheating. He is now introducing the skank as his soul mate. Great guy!!

UGH. I am awaiting with great trepidation the next communication I get from her parents. They clearly knew nothing about what was going on as of Friday. In fact, I got a text from my father in law on Friday night asking if she was planning on coming down to VA. She had not told me that was her plan. I chose my words carefully, and without giving them any details, made it clear that I hadn't spoken with her in several days, and that when she arrived, she would not be in a good headspace. But I told him that I loved both he and Mom-in-law dearly, and told them that I'm always here to talk.

C, it sounds as though the fates have smiled on you through your agony.

You have the opportunity to begin a wonderful new life with the support of beloved family members, in a paradise I would love to visit let along begin a new life in!

I'm so sorry that your WW chooses to disrespect your gift of reconciliation. That's horrid.

However, the doors are open to a new life, and if you choose the path that is blatantly encouraging you to venture upon it, I wish you a wonderful new future.

If it is your song 'Pretending to Care', congratulations on it. A worthy composition.

If it is your song 'Pretending to Care', congratulations on it. A worthy composition.

Thanks, Diva - I wish I could take credit for that one, but it was written by the great Todd Rundgren.

Wouldn't it be nice if you could go back to Hawaii before she gets back? Since, she has cut off contact all weekend-you wouldn't be there to pick up where she left off. Good luck. I hope you do go and find a new, better life.

Oh, that would be glorious indeed. Alas, I have way too much to plan/take care of first. This will take a few months.

I wish I could take credit for that one, but it was written by the great Todd Rundgren.

Nicely presented none the less. I am not familar with it as my genre is firmly rooted in classical opera.

You have much to tentatively consider regarding your future, but in consideration of the fact that she has not returned to your home, would it be possible for you to request that she stay elsewhere for the short term while you gather your wits and strategies?

You have much to tentatively consider regarding your future, but in consideration of the fact that she has not returned to your home, would it be possible for you to request that she stay elsewhere for the short term while you gather your wits and strategies?

Anything's possible, but I have a rather high degree of certainty that she would refuse that arrangement. She has no where to go, really. Most of our friends in the area are mine.

No suggestions. Just wishing you peace!

It always makes me chuckle to see how they do little things to make their friends and family think it's your doing. My wife called my attorney's office and made an appointment for me get the divorce ball rolling. Then afterwards she accused me of being the one who filed for the divorce.

I can relate. I left my ex-bf and went back after the initial discovery to attempt reconciliation. the terms were that he would never speak to her again - specifically that he would not respond if she contacted him either by phone or text.

within 3 weeks i found texts to her on his phone. he had erased what she text him but forgot to erase his response.

i left him again and i've been gone 7 weeks today.

(entire timeline from d-day to now in thread LIES LIES, LIES)

now i'm the one doing NC - with him.

and its so true what so many are saying in this thread that its such a relief not wondering / worrying about what he's doing or to be waiting for some sign of hope

-- its over

and he never got me to say it -

fuck that - he's the one that should have told me it was over before he turned to the OW

get away as soon as you can and establish NC with her as best as you can as soon as is feasible

d-day 22 weeks ago --

its been only 3 weeks since we last spoke and 2 weeks since I last responded to a text from him but i can already see that I feel exponentially better the longer i stay away

i too went out of state to stay with family - its good to be away

i am putting in an application for my own place this week

i been getting out on the weekends and even had a lunch date yesterday

ps - forgetting sarah silverman --- hawaii --- and jeff buckley --- awesome!

HI CuckoldedinMa

I am so happy to read your posts about living the dream.

A few months after dday I realised that if FWH broke NC or I decided I just couldn't deal with what he had done then I needed a dream. A plan for the future which would bring me peace.

I am a French teacher in Oz and although I have only been there twice I love France. My dream was a cottage in the south of France, peaceful days, coffee with the locals, undemanding work and an affectionate cat. I planned to move there to live for a year or two to get all the crap out of my system.

I LOVE your dream. I love it so much I am tempted to adopt it if the worst should happen. Maybe go there first and then France. Maybe 6 months each. Who knows???

My point: I LOVE that you have something to look forward to. So often on SI I see BSs faced with the reality of separation who don't have a dream. I know that for most financial constraints and children often preclude a new start such as yours. Just wanted to say how happy I am that you have this plan for your future.

I am excited for you and your new beginning (and perhaps even a little envious).

I wish you peace and happiness in the future. Regardless of what happens.

BIG HUGS

Laura